nope_real
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2009
- Messages
- 91
- Reaction score
- 0
I have had difficulty making friends or going out or functioning in society since college. I was fine growing up then everything just changed. It took me six months to get a job because I can't talk properly in interviews. I got my job based on a working interview. It took a long time for me adapt to being there and to actually feel comfortable talking to people. People had to bring me out of myself. I think people sometimes think i'm rude, I don't mean to be, just find it difficult. I then had the arkward thing of having to tell my boss I was taking medication for depression. Since then I've lost most of my work hours and the home i'm living in will soon be sold. I know I need to start sorting things out soon or i'll be homeless and jobless. I just can't find the guts to even get of bed, let alone sort out anything else.
I've been told its part of life and I will just have to find a new job and move on. I don't think I can manage it again. I had to overcome alot of things to get the first job and manage. I have fought really hard and sorted out drinking problems and overcoming(partially) social phobias. I worry that I've gone past the point of a healthy outlook. I seem to find more comfort in letting things progress to a situation where i'm homeless than attempt to sort things out or find a new job.
I just feel sick thinking about it. It's soul crushing to even walk out in public. This has all created so much friction with my girlfriend. She says she can't cope with seeing her life going nowhere. I'm lucky to be with her and never take it for granted.
Everything is just too much. Even phoning job applications in the paper, to answering the door to someone, to seeing the people I see everyday anyway. I haven't seen work mates in a month or so, don't think I can face them to go back to my little shift. I think i'm just tired of trying. I've ignored everything for so long and now its just fallen into my lap.
I just hate competing for work. I can't say or do the right things. It's the only place i've left wanted or comfortable, not useless and standing out like a saw thumb.
I've been told its part of life and I will just have to find a new job and move on. I don't think I can manage it again. I had to overcome alot of things to get the first job and manage. I have fought really hard and sorted out drinking problems and overcoming(partially) social phobias. I worry that I've gone past the point of a healthy outlook. I seem to find more comfort in letting things progress to a situation where i'm homeless than attempt to sort things out or find a new job.
I just feel sick thinking about it. It's soul crushing to even walk out in public. This has all created so much friction with my girlfriend. She says she can't cope with seeing her life going nowhere. I'm lucky to be with her and never take it for granted.
Everything is just too much. Even phoning job applications in the paper, to answering the door to someone, to seeing the people I see everyday anyway. I haven't seen work mates in a month or so, don't think I can face them to go back to my little shift. I think i'm just tired of trying. I've ignored everything for so long and now its just fallen into my lap.
I just hate competing for work. I can't say or do the right things. It's the only place i've left wanted or comfortable, not useless and standing out like a saw thumb.