Denying Sexual Desire = Happiness

[IVIZ]

Our sexual desires is the main reason why I feel lonely. I have come to realise that I've been thinking all my life with the wrong head (pun intended). Its been my world all this time, it has influenced my decision making in a huge way over the years. I have avoided the wrong people because of it and have caused the wrong disillusion of the opposite sex to become something of a higher status. When I deny my sexual desire, I think different, I view the world differently, I behave differently, I don't feel lonely at all. I'm happy with myself and feel like I can be so much more creative and in control of my life without the influence of this stupid human desire getting in the way. Its the reason why I feel so alone, I say I want companionship, even someone who is just there for me or can have a sholder to cry on, but I know and so would everyone else say that BS! Its all about sexual satisfaction, and being stable with another is the best way of satisfying this desire, yes everyone knows it, that why we yearn for someone else. But this world is full of disapointment and nothing is for ever. So why not remove your desires???? Get rid of it, rid of the stress it creates, rid of the pointless need of constant gratification. I seem to find that I actually interact with the opposite sex way better, when I don't have my sexual desire (dick) on the controls of my behavior towards others. I even get way more deep with the person that I actually come to the topic of sexual acts with them. But I still don't allow my sexual desires to take ahold of my interactions. So it works to deny it, it works to feel more full of oneself, it works to talk to people more effectively without the desire jumping in and f**king everything up by doing the wrong desperate moves. I don't feel lonely, people seem to like me better, I have more fun, I'm more of a fun person towards others (which seems to be what other people like) and I'm don't give a bad upset appearance all the time, I'm more creative in my thinking, I'm more happier with myself, I'm more consentrated with life decisions, I'm more alive with my day to day tasks, I'm more aware of the things and people around me. I'm more everything! SEXUAL DESIRE IS A DRAWBACK!!!!

If you want to stop feeling lonely, deny this desire. Try it, I just wish I could remove it completely, IDK, remove my hormones or testicles (dare I say it). Well you do need it just when the time is right, (in the bedroom, where it ONLY belongs) I know I'm going to get flamed and bashed for this but who cares, I think I found a way or a path to actually changing my behavior and finding someone worth being with, without the stupid desire to be with this person, I can actually think better on how I'm going to be able to be with this person and just let my personality take over and let it to its thing, without my sexual desire influencing anything. But this is not just for being a better person with others, its also better for you. Removing your sexual desire, removes so much more negativity from you, which helps you be the person that you want to be.

Now this may not be the case with everyone, some have a low sexual desire while some have it on full throttle. I'm very close to full throttle, I think I might have been this way all my life and it has devistated the way I've chosen on how to live my life and the bad decision that I've made as growing up and has sadly resulted in a lonely world. Well thats enough of my rambling, goodluck guys. Yeah especially guys, this one is mostly for you, this desire is on high octane from very young with su males. GOOD LUCK!

 

[Badjedidude]

SEXUAL DESIRE IS A DRAWBACK!!!!

I disagree hugely.

Now this may not be the case with everyone, some have a low sexual desire while some have it on full throttle. I'm very close to full throttle, I think I might have been this way all my life and it has devistated the way I've chosen on how to live my life and the bad decision that I've made as growing up and has sadly resulted in a lonely world. Well thats enough of my rambling, goodluck guys. Yeah especially guys, this one is mostly for you, this desire is on high octane from very young with su males. GOOD LUCK!

Having a high sex drive does not mean you're automatically thrown around by whatever your dick wants at any given time. It IS possible to have a high sex drive and still have enough self-control and willpower to control it.

While this approach apparently works for you, I wouldn't necessarily go around telling people to dry to deny what is, after all, a basic part of their humanity.

 

[IVIZ]

deny what is, after all, a basic part of their humanity.

A part that effects you in negative way if the desire is a constant urge to be with someone else. Your desire doesn't know how to do that. IT JUST WANTS IT AND IT WANTS IT NOW. Because of this, its whats stuck with you subcounciously, and will influence and effect the way that you live your life and how you treat other people.

 

[Badjedidude]

A part that effects you in negative way if the desire is a constant urge to be with someone else. You desire doesn't know how to do that. IT JUST WANTS IT AND IT WANTS IT NOW. Because of this, its whats stuck with you subcouncious, and will influence and effect the way that you live your life and how you treat other people.

You can't blame sexual desire for your inability to remain faithful to someone. I've known many people who had HUGE sex drives, and they were faithful to their partners because they had the self-discipline to control those desires.

By trying to deny and ignore your sexual desires, I believe you're just trying to take the easy path and sweep your problems under the rug. And guess what? That doesn't work for long. Catholicism has been trying to do that for centuries and look where it's gotten them. You can't simply pretend that your sexual desires aren't there and then somehow magically be a different person. It will catch up with you, I guarantee it.

The key is to learn to CONTROL your desires, not deny them. Honestly, it's not that hard. I have a quite high sex drive myself, and I've never cheated on a girlfriend before or treated a woman like an object; nor do I plan to.

It's not your desires that cause the problem. It's you.

 

[IVIZ]

I never mentioned anything close to infidelity??? When I say treat other people, I mean the people you meet on your daily basis.

And yes, by DENYING the desire you are basicly CONTROLING it. I did mention that there is a right time and a place to express your sexual desire.

Badjedidude, did I insult you in any form? Excuse me if I did, but why am I getting such a contrasting reaction from you. Like if your intentions are just to throw me under the bus.

 

[Badjedidude]

And yes, by DENYING the desire you are basicly CONTROLING it. I did mention that there is a right time and a place to express your sexual desire.

No, denying and controlling are two different things, IMHO. Denying is trying to pretend that it doesn't exist. Controlling is learning to live with it and not let it affect your decisions or actions beyond what is decent in your involvement with others.

Badjedidude, did I insult you in any form? Excuse me if I did, but why am I getting such a contrasting reaction from you. Like if your intentions are just to throw me under the bus.

Don't be so sensitive, man. Lol... if this were a personal attack, you'd know it. Just because I disagree and offer a contrary argument doesn't mean that I'm angry at you or anything.

I just disagree.

 

[IVIZ]

I knew I should expect some bashing. This is such a diverse subject and many different views can be touched on.

BTW, I truly believe this is a great tacting when talking with a hot sexy woman. Without the sexual desire (drive) factor clinging and running around like a duck with his head cut off. You can actually focus on a fun and enjoyable conversation with someone who would normally get you nervous and dumbfounded for words, because you dont have a naggin sex drive desperately yet ignorantly desiring something that it knows it cant have, cause it only knows how to "do it" but it doesn't seem to know or care how "to get to do it". Thats where your real head should take over, not the other way around.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't think denying sexual appetite is happiness. Perhaps if you're addicted to sex, you may feel better that you can control your strong urges. Controlling it is way better than completely denying yourself. I wouldn't think it's healthy to completely deny sexual desires.

 

[Yukhi]

Everyone here has so far explained the solution the having high sex drives. CONTROL!! Try doing things that'll keep your mind distracted. Try to make sure you spend more time around people.

 

[tehdreamer]

I don't think anyone is trying to bash you, they just have opposite views. Life works differently for different people.

Also, it seems to me that you are actually controlling your desires more than just denying them. You're making a conscience effort to not let it control you rather than just going into denial and pretending you don't have any desires. Pretending would be bad because eventually you have to face reality. But controlling it means that you're aware of what you're doing and you're keeping things in check.

You've matured to the point of knowing there's more to life than just sex and you're making a effort to actually experience life and other people without being preoccupied with sex all of the time. Congrats! And best of luck to you!

 

[IVIZ]

Here is another view that some people might have on the subject. The might say "Sexual desire is a good thing, its what drives us to our goal and gives us the reason to get out there and look for that good feeling, and gives us the great euphoric feeling when we have obtained that beautiful connection with that special someone. How can sexual desire be a bad thing???"

I'm not saying its a "Bad" desire. I'm saying its a "Retarded" desire. A natural human desire that only purpose is to basicly produce life. A primal desire that we as complicated human beings, have desguised and overdeveloped it in our minds, in this day and age as humans have evolved. Because from young, we have grown to like this desire because it seems to make us feel good, and humans will always do what makes them feel good. So it gets somewhat over used and maybe abused. It becomes a part of us, promising (fooling) us into trusting and thinking that this is the way to happiness. Well that may be true, if we were primates, but in our world and age, this primal desire is only there to hold us back from being truly involved with todays complicated human world. Sexual desire is not going to show you how to conquer a womans heart. Its only purpose is/was to give the need to reproduce and to, well multiply. So it does not benefit you at all in this day and age, its again a drawback. Dont trust in this desire, or maybe you havent recognized it yet within you. Ask yourself, why do you want a girlfriend? Why do you need a partner in your life? Because you have the primal urge to reproduce, if you can control this urge/desire and deny/surpress it, then you pretty much dont need to to feel like you need someone in your life, your lonesome basicly decreases if not disappears. Its not natural to control it, but in our world it is a must to master to be able to coup with todays complicated relationships and human interactions. So until its truly needed, when you and your partner get close enough to have the desire to behave like primal animals and do monkey dance. Its not going to help you with anything else in life, but only to influence your bad dicision making in life and have an ignorant approach in meeting people in this new age. I have no idea how else I can explain myself.

BTW, yeah I'm aware that we can have fun with our sexual desires, (porn, masterbation, multiple partners, sex adds, sexy clothing, ext.) But even these can effect your life in a negative way. So I just leave it for the actual act, and not for the basis of regular thought and a way of reaching your goals in life.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm not saying its a "Bad" desire. I'm saying its a "Retarded" desire. A natural human desire that only purpose is to basicly produce life. A primal desire that we as complicated human beings, have desguised and overdeveloped it in our minds, in this day and age as humans have evolved. Because from young, we have grown to like this desire because it seems to make us feel good, and humans will always do what makes them feel good. So it gets somewhat over used and maybe abused. It becomes a part of us, promising (fooling) us into trusting and thinking that this is the way to happiness. Well that may be true, if we were primates, but in our world and age, this primal desire is only there to hold us back from being truly involved with todays complicated human world. Sexual desire is not going to show you how to conquer a womans heart. Its only purpose is/was to give the need to reproduce and to, well multiply. So it does not benefit you at all in this day and age, its again a drawback. Dont trust in this desire, or maybe you havent recognized it yet within you. Ask yourself, why do you want a girlfriend? Why do you need a partner in your life? Because you have the primal urge to reproduce, if you can control this urge/desire and deny/surpress it, then you pretty much dont need to to feel like you need someone in your life, your lonesome basicly decreases if not disappears. Its not natural to control it, but in our world it is a must to master to be able to coup with todays complicated relationships and human interactions. So until its truly needed, when you and your partner get close enough to have the desire to behave like primal animals and do monkey dance. Its not going to help you with anything else in life, but only to influence your bad dicision making in life and have an ignorant approach in meeting people in this new age. I have no idea how else I can explain myself.

I just don't see logic in that at all. The feeling of being lonely certainly wouldn't just disappear just like that. Poof, into thin air. It doesn't work like that. You can not have any type of sex at all, and still be lonely. And you can not even want a partner, and still be lonely. So none of that paragraph even makes sense.

You influence your own life. And those who decide to let sex influence it, that's on them. Personally, I can control my urges and desires quite easily. It doesn't steer any aspect of my life.

 

[IVIZ]

Denying is a form of Controlling. I was under the assumption of this while I made this thread. I never said anything like killing your sexual desires, then that would really make it none existant. But I mentioned that it should be needed at the appropriate time and place. If I want to deny myself from eating too much, I'm basicly controlling my diet. I'm not starving myself to death.

Also, I don't want to seem like a sexist. But I did make this thread for a male reader. Being a male myself, I only seem to know the male perspective of this diverse topic. So a female point of view would really not be that adequate for this thread. Sorry I know I look like a jerk, but I can only see this world by the role of a male. I gladly appreciate a females input, but it would be hard to merge both ways of thinking. Man I sound like a jerk. My apologies.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Denying is killing desires. Completely. It's not really controlling it. Denying is when you want to make yourself believe it's not there. At all. Period. Controlling is when you limit yourself to what you otherwise would just keep going at. It's like eating cake. When you deny yourself cake, you don't eat it, at all. When you control your intake of cake, you may eat one slice, as opposed to 2 or 3.

There's a difference.

Btw, a female perspective, I think, is just what you need. Because, one, you certainly don't speak for every male on this subject. And two, this subject doesn't really have any "gender" to it. Doesn't matter male or female, this topic varies from person to person. So what you believe in is not fact, therefore you're neither right nor wrong. It's just your opinion.

 

[IVIZ]

NO, Denying is to restrain yourself for a period in time. Well, I checked and there seems to be a lot of definitions for "Deny". I was going for the "to withold" definition. I guess everyone here seems to go with the "refusal of existance" one.

1. to state that (something declared or believed to be true) is not true: to deny an accusation.
2. to refuse to agree or accede to: to deny a petition.
3. to withhold the possession, use, or enjoyment of: to deny access to secret information.
4. to withhold something from, or refuse to grant a request of: to deny a beggar.
5. to refuse to recognize or acknowledge; disown; disavow; repudiate: to deny one's gods.
6. to withhold (someone) from accessibility to a visitor: The secretary denied his employer to all those without appointments.
7. Obsolete . to refuse to take or accept.
—Idiom
8. deny oneself, to refrain from satisfying one's desires or needs; practice self-denial.


I seem to like #8 definition's a lot.

And yes, I guess this is all in my opinion. But this is a touchy topic, I don't believe that males and females see sexuality the same way. I guess thought I just found a way to help relieve many mens sexual stress in life. How one should take a point of view or approach in finding a partner in their life. But I suppose that in the end, it will always just be my opinion.

Thankyou for reading

 

[VanillaCreme]

Some men and females view it the same. Some don't. It depends on the person. And still, even with the definitions you've provided, control and deny are different. So, what happens when you no longer want to deny it? Do you start to control it? Or do you give in?

 

[SofiasMami]

8. deny oneself, to refrain from satisfying one's... needs; practice self-denial.


I seem to like #8 definition's a lot.

And yes, I guess this is all in my opinion. But this is a touchy topic, I don't believe that males and females see sexuality the same way. I guess thought I just found a way to help relieve many mens sexual stress in life. How one should take a point of view or approach in finding a partner in their life. But I suppose that in the end, it will always just be my opinion.

Thankyou for reading

Hi-
I've been a single parent for over 3 years now. A lot of people believe that only men have strong desires for sex just for it's own sake, but that's a misconception. I do but I don't act on it because I'm single at the moment and I need to be a responsible parent for my child. Of course there's other ways of satisfying the urge that don't include another live person.
I read a book for single moms that suggests channeling your energies into creative pursuits and I think that's a great idea. I took up the violin a few months ago and it's helped (plus I enjoy it). But denying sexual urges is sort of like denying oneself sleep or food. I've accepted this part of my humanity (despite my strict Catholic upbringing!) and if I get an urge, I think about it for a bit, then it goes away. The more you try to push down the urge or need, the more it's going to pop up and the more you'll think about it.

-Teresa

 

[tehdreamer]

The other definition of deny makes things a bit more clear. But you still have things wrong. If you want to not feel lonely, denying sexual desires won't really help. There are people out there who don't experience any sexual desires and they are still quite lonely and still seek out relationships and partners.

You will have to deny yourself the need to be around others if you want to achieve that. Somehow make yourself into a completely solitary person who doesn't need companionship. Deny yourself companionship. Which I think is pretty wrong to do.

 

[Luna]

Hmmm...
I only read the first few posts pretty much...
I'm not too sure as to if I'm "denying" or not, but all I know is that I've given up and I feel much better now that I am no longer chasing something that isn't there.

 

[IVIZ]

OH GOD!!!!! Ladies, ladies my beautiful, wonderfull dreamlike mind ladies! Thankyou for your input, but forgive me to say this, but sexual desire for girls is not the same as the intense sexual urges from testosterone* driven men. Where are all the guys??? why are only the women posting? Anyways...



Yes your right there are people out there that dont desire to be with someone and are lonely, but guess what, its mostly females that are the ones involved in that kind of situation. This thread is meant for the guys, sorry ladies, you have a wonderfull way of thinking but it still does not replace what a mans desire to be with someone just because of this natural urge that constantly reminds him that he needs a mate.

---

Hmmm...
I only read the first few posts pretty much...
I'm not too sure as to if I'm "denying" or not, but all I know is that I've given up and I feel much better now that I am no longer chasing something that isn't there.

Yes thats one of my points. The stress is no longer your burden to bear, its been removed, since there is no desire to be driven by and feel the stress that it creates by this complex world. But its only a part of the main picture, You seem to be free from this stress and now can seem to see more clearly on your objectives without the sexual desire to drag you down in life.

I knew some people got a part of my point. : )