Depressed

[Glowgirl]

Okay. Back to the lonely life forum again, it's so good to have you guys to talk to from time to time! I turned 43 yesterday, been single all my life, basically because I'm BORING! Unfortunately this is true, heard and been told it too many times to ignore. Not many guys at all have never liked me, and long ago, I made the decision to just be single and concentrate on being happy rather than just bang my head against a brick wall in the dating game. Every now and then though, low self esteem and boredom turn to loneliness and make me start wondering whether I should try online dating. I still think I couldn't handle the dating world. I've got no experience, I'm psychologically fragile and frankly the whole thing sounds like a worldly and impersonal game that I couldn't play. I'm happy most of the time as a single person but it's low self esteem that bites every now and then and makes me wish that I had someone because I've been such a failure. Even one romance to remember would be nice!

 

[Jerasmussen]

If you're so boring, why am I reading your post out of all the others on this board?

Same advice advice I gave to rdnr: embrace who you are and explore your sexuality. Send him a PM for starters ...

 

[Zackarydoo]

Wow that was such an interesting post! I read it all to the end.

I'm actually genuine Glowgirl, I am a slow reader so usually don't read the whole of a post, but I read yours. So just like Jerasmussen said, you can't be that boring.

I know how you feel too. I'm 44 so about the same age as you. I haven't been single all my life but I have been for the last 8 (roughly) years. I hate being single for so many reasons. I only have one close friend too and I can't even spend time with her because she lives so far away from me. At least she talks to me once a week....if I'm lucky.

You want one romance to remember? Well tell me where you live and I'll pop over. *giggles* Sorry, I do genuinely know how you feel as until I had my first relationship I didn't think I'd ever find anyone. So at least I have something I can remember, and I bet you will find someone some day too. Annoying when people say that isn't it? I'm saying it as someone who knows how it feels though and who knows how hard it is finding a partner, but knows the most unexpected things DO happen sometimes.

One more thing, for yesterday....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

[Ignis]

Okay. Back to the lonely life forum again, it's so good to have you guys to talk to from time to time! I turned 43 yesterday, been single all my life, basically because I'm BORING! Unfortunately this is true, heard and been told it too many times to ignore. Not many guys at all have never liked me, and long ago, I made the decision to just be single and concentrate on being happy rather than just bang my head against a brick wall in the dating game. Every now and then though, low self esteem and boredom turn to loneliness and make me start wondering whether I should try online dating. I still think I couldn't handle the dating world. I've got no experience, I'm psychologically fragile and frankly the whole thing sounds like a worldly and impersonal game that I couldn't play. I'm happy most of the time as a single person but it's low self esteem that bites every now and then and makes me wish that I had someone because I've been such a failure. Even one romance to remember would be nice!

Oh? Boring? According to who exactly?
The thing about human beings is that we're all different. Being a "boring" person is relative. What one person may define as boring, may be what another defines as fun. It's all about putting yourself out there.
It would have to be pretty **** close to, if not impossible for you to be boring to EVERY SINGLE MALE in the world. Assuming that it's 50% male/female you're looking at what.. 2 billion men? Can you honestly tell me that out of 2 BILLION men there would be not one who would care about you?

I'll tell you what, yes. I'm younger than you, much younger than you... But for a good portion of my life I've been told exactly the same as you. I'm a boring person. I live a boring life. SO MANY WOMEN have told me this, and it was hard not to take it to heart.
I met one girl one day who would hang off every word I said, to her; what was going on in my day to day, and my past experiences were the very essence of interesting. That lead to a relationship.
The relationship ended badly unfortunately, and we went our separate ways. But it taught me one thing.

Yeah, a lot of people might find me boring... But if it happened once, it will most certainly happen again.
I personally think you're in a very positive headspace for a relationship believe it or not.
I was told by a close friend of mine... That you shouldn't seek a relationship until you can honestly say you're happy being single. A relationship should not be the answer to your problems, it should help to make the already positive aspects of your life BETTER.

As much as I'd like to ignore this advice, and I've tried to in the past... I actually think she couldn't be more right. If you're not happy with yourself, how can you expect to be happy with someone else, or make someone else happy?

Your age is just a number. Who cares if you're 23, 43, or 83. If someone loves you for who you are, **** the age difference. I'm sure as hell that even if you have absolute zero experience, they'll be patient and guide you through everything that you need to.

If my advice means anything to you, I definitely think that online dating isn't a bad idea and you should give it a try if you're feeling up to it. Who knows? Something very positive could come of the whole thing

Either way, I hope that things improve for you, even slightly. I've been there, it sucks a lot. But you're doing far better than I ever could, I felt like I could never be happy being single.
So kudos to you.