Did my boss allow a coworker to hurt me bc they're related

[sassy_gurl2009]

When I first started at work, everyone talked to me but Katy. At first, I thought it's bc I'm new until I asked her a general question and she said we aren't friends. I begged and paid her $$$, which she turned down. They called corporate on me just for that. That's when a coupla other coworkers started looking down on me, but most still didn't. For an anger outlet, I treat verbally abused other people but not Katy, and I treated them like shyt. My boss wrote me up and I flicked her off for that. Luckily, she didn't see the finger. I stared at Katy on my days off. Finally, I screamed at my boss publicly for a rage outlet. Several customers complained and I got suspended 2 weeks. I came back to on-call hours and ostracism, so I quit.

I remember when Katy hurt me really bad that I pleaded w/ my boss on facebook to make her like me. When she won't let me sit at her table, I told my boss who said find a different table. I damaged Andrea's coat bc Katy is her friend and not mine. Also, Jenny told me Katy initially hated her for months. One day, Jenny accidentally made coffee wrong and burned lots of ppl. Katy thought it was funny and they became friends. I then purposely made coffee wrong, burned myself, and Katy was disgusted.

So these people who used to like me walked out when Katy hurt me. Well, what can I do? It's hard to tolerate even one person not liking me. and btw, Katy never accepted my friend request on facebook. Since then, 14 interviews and no offer. I was just wondering, another restaurant is the only one to have called my former employer and all she said is I worked there from April '09 to May '10 and that I'm rehirable bc I gave notice. Why didn't she also say I was a good employee and that I worked hard (which are also true?) I don't understand.

And could it be that my boss just don't like anyone Kyra don't like since she likes Kyra very much? Is that why my downfall happened?

Just found out they're distantly related. And all those office politics! Sorry it was so long.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Have you ever heard the term CYA, perchance? It stands for 'cover your ass' and is of incalculable importance in anything relating to work. Your first mistake was to start drama at all.

Your former employer is not giving you a good reference because she does not like you, clearly. She's saying the bare minimal requirements by law for a reference, more or less. Your best bet is to try to find a job by networking, without using your former employer as a reference.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

Have you ever heard the term CYA, perchance? It stands for 'cover your ass' and is of incalculable importance in anything relating to work. Your first mistake was to start drama at all.

Your former employer is not giving you a good reference because she does not like you, clearly. She's saying the bare minimal requirements by law for a reference, more or less. Your best bet is to try to find a job by networking, without using your former employer as a reference.

Why didn't she like me? I mean, I know she used to until Kyra hurt me. Then she let her. That's my understanding. I'm just wondering if she let her bc they're related.

 

[Callie]

You put way too much stock in what other people think of you. Not EVERYONE is going to like you, you'll have to accept that sooner or later. Try to buy me off and I'd do the same thing. As far as why your boss doesn't like you, it's pretty evident in your original post. Your boss is not really your best friend, and even if she is your best friend, that doesn't give you special treatment over anyone else.
Have you thought about anger management? If you lash out at people that get alone with you, then maybe you should think about getting some help for that.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

You put way too much stock in what other people think of you. Not EVERYONE is going to like you, you'll have to accept that sooner or later. Try to buy me off and I'd do the same thing. As far as why your boss doesn't like you, it's pretty evident in your original post. Your boss is not really your best friend, and even if she is your best friend, that doesn't give you special treatment over anyone else.
Have you thought about anger management? If you lash out at people that get alone with you, then maybe you should think about getting some help for that.

I am in counseling. Been there since Jessica from college put me there 3 years ago. It was the same issue as I had at work w/ Kyra. Simple: Jessica didn't like me from DAY 1 and I went bat honeysuckle insane. School discharged me. And voila, now I'm here.

 

[Callie]

I am in counseling. Been there since Jessica from college put me there 3 years ago. It was the same issue as I had at work w/ Kyra. Simple: Jessica didn't like me from DAY 1 and I went bat honeysuckle insane. School discharged me. And voila, now I'm here.

YOU put you there. Your actions are no one's responsibility but your own. No one can make you act a certain way but yourself.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

Oh I forgot to add that I didn't mean my boss was my best friend. I just meant she used to like me, just like she likes everyone else. lol. And as for special favors, I prolly prefer not to have any bc that would turn coworkers against me.

---

The above post was from McD's.

THIS is a Wal-Mart horror story:

Well, Emily didn't like me from the outset at Wal-Mart. I can't understand how everyone else could talk to me but her. I begged her and paid her money to like me, which she turned down. I also stood by the fitting room instead of working to watch her in her nearby dept. I got poor eval for not producing. In addition, my dept mgr said the thing w/ Emily can't continue or we can't work together. I shouted, "I'm sorry you think everything's your **** business!" I got written up when a customer complained. Then came a coupla months where I temporarily forgot about Emily. Management said I was doing better. However, all this time, I was looking for a reason to explode bc of Emily and Melissa gave it to me (cart of returns?). I cursed her out and physically assaulted the fitting room pole. Emily did not like me.

 

[Bread]

Paid her money to like you? Pleaded your boss to make her make your coworker like you? And you lashed out on other people.

I don't know what to say, really. The world is full of people who will dislike you from square one on the most trivial and absurd reasons, like skin colour and ethnic background, sexual orientation, the way you dress, hell, bands, movies, music, ANYTHING. It's one of the rough realities of life, you can't please them all. Not even the majority. You're lucky to find one or two people in the world who really do care for you, and are less likely to do so outside blood relations. Nepotism is rampant in working life- another sad reality of life. You got to look out after kin and the offspring of your kin, no? That's what families are for. In theory, at least.

To me, it seems you overreacted in each case you mentioned. Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist? They might help you with your anger problem, and dismiss this idea that you need to be friends with the rest of the world, since the rest of the world isn't going to play ball, even if you take the initiative.

Oh, also, a hearty welcome to ALL. Hopefully you'll manage to find your stay here helpful, at least. You take care now.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

Well, I've started seeing a shrink last year for the meds and stuff. And I'm also curious if people usually dislike anyone their relatives dislike. idk maybe my boss dislikes everyone Kyra dislikes. But that couldn't be true since Kyra hated me from day one and my boss initially liked me for quite a while. But I'm glad to be enlightened about my boss allowing Kyra to hurt me bc they're related...

 

[Callie]

Well, I've started seeing a shrink last year for the meds and stuff. And I'm also curious if people usually dislike anyone their relatives dislike. idk maybe my boss dislikes everyone Kyra dislikes. But that couldn't be true since Kyra hated me from day one and my boss initially liked me for quite a while. But I'm glad to be enlightened about my boss allowing Kyra to hurt me bc they're related...

Um... no one said that and it I'm pretty **** sure it's not true.

You're basing other people's actions on things that SERIOUSLY unlikely. Live for yourself and stop blaming others for your actions.

 

[PurpleDays]

I think part of it centres around the coffee - you made it too hot on purpose to get attention! Katy's was a mistake, so people laughed it off, but you did it on purpose to get attention!

This is a malicious motivation and so people don't take too kindly.

As Callie said, not everyone is going to like you. And you can't blame others for your weaknesses. They may be contributing factors, very strongly so, even, but at the end of the day, the world isn't fair. Life isn't fair (excuse the cliches).

You need to be the bigger person, the stronger person. That is the only way to have a positive outcome in this scenario.

Be brave. You can do it.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

I think part of it centres around the coffee - you made it too hot on purpose to get attention! Katy's was a mistake, so people laughed it off, but you did it on purpose to get attention!

This is a malicious motivation and so people don't take too kindly.

As Callie said, not everyone is going to like you. And you can't blame others for your weaknesses. They may be contributing factors, very strongly so, even, but at the end of the day, the world isn't fair. Life isn't fair (excuse the cliches).

You need to be the bigger person, the stronger person. That is the only way to have a positive outcome in this scenario.

Be brave. You can do it.

Jenny made coffee wrong, not Katy. Katy just thought it was funny and they were friends. I just did it on purpose bc it worked for Jenny.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Jenny made coffee wrong, not Katy. Katy just thought it was funny and they were friends. I just did it on purpose bc it worked for Jenny.

This is not about wrong or right. In any work environment, you will need professionalism as well as the ability to work in a team. You and perhaps all your colleagues except your boss did not show professionalism and you certainly were not able to work with your present group as an effective team.

Find a new place to work, and avoid getting as emotionally involved with other individuals from your workplace in the future. There is a reason why careers prohibit fraternizing between individuals, and /especially/ between yourself and your direct supervisor.

If you feel like nepotism is harming you in particular, report to corporate. Talking to one of individuals that you are in conflict with is NOT the appropriate policy in any work environment that I have ever been, and I have been in many.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

Jenny made coffee wrong, not Katy. Katy just thought it was funny and they were friends. I just did it on purpose bc it worked for Jenny.

This is not about wrong or right. In any work environment, you will need professionalism as well as the ability to work in a team. You and perhaps all your colleagues except your boss did not show professionalism and you certainly were not able to work with your present group as an effective team.

Find a new place to work, and avoid getting as emotionally involved with other individuals from your workplace in the future. There is a reason why careers prohibit fraternizing between individuals, and /especially/ between yourself and your direct supervisor.

If you feel like nepotism is harming you in particular, report to corporate. Talking to one of individuals that you are in conflict with is NOT the appropriate policy in any work environment that I have ever been, and I have been in many.

How were my coworkers unprofessional?

 

[IgnoredOne]

How were my coworkers unprofessional?

They seem to lack a certain amount of professional courtesy, but nonetheless, you seem far more at fault, with behavior such as "For an anger outlet, I treat verbally abused other people but not Katy, and I treated them like shyt."

There's not much to expand on that. You should be well aware that you behaved in a way that is completely and utterly unacceptable.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

Well the job was at McD's lol. But yeah, I shouldn't have acted like that.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well the job was at McD's lol. But yeah, I shouldn't have acted like that.

There are no small jobs, only small people.

Bring integrity, discipline and commitment to every job, and you will go far. I know people who've become licensed professionals at companies where they started off as janitors.

Check your behavior, and amend it. Mistakes are for us to learn from.

 

[allanh]

I agree with most of the replies. What happened seem to be a direct result of YOUR own actions. Being professional at your job and accept that shits do happen everywhere and most of time you just have to swallow it.

 

[sassy_gurl2009]

Well I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm just wondering how come management allowed Kyra to hurt me. That's all

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm just wondering how come management allowed Kyra to hurt me. That's all

Management does not care about anything except how you can contribute to the bottom line. Since you were clearly not promoting the overall marketability of the location, bollocks to you.

Management is not here to protect you, they are here to ensure consistent profit margins.