Difficult Colleague

[ladyforsaken]

Okay, there was a new addition to my department this year. But she confuses me. On one hand I think she's an awesome worker, she gives some really great ideas and she's innovative.

On the other hand, these are the issues I'm facing with her:

- Temperamental, moody, short-tempered, pulls a long face all the time (this I can totally overlook and deal with)
- Debates at every thing presented to her
- Acts unprofessionally
- Agrees to something (a plan or schedule) and then later on in the last minute, complain otherwise (this happened sooooooooooooo many freakin times it's driving me insane)
- Fickle-minded at everything!!!
- Blames others for her lack of involvement in certain compulsory projects when she is obviously not interested in participating

I have dealt with several difficult people in my career and many times I've felt like omg I can't deal with this person and I'm going insane in the next second but so far I've pulled through thankfully.

But this has got to be the most boiling, most challenging and most annoying colleague I've ever had!!

Recently, she's created some hoohaa with another department in which I had to step in to rectify the issue and actually bring both supervisors together to sit down and come to a resolution. She was going to heat it up to the bosses which would have brought up wayyyyy more issues.

I think it has reached my maximum tolerance level for such bullshit. I have now turned to ignoring her but each day, there is something new she dishes out either at my other colleague, or at my supervisor.

My goodness, if I could quit my job - I totally would have months ago because I cannot and right now refuse to tolerate her.

Note:
She never dishes it out right in front of me or to me probably because I'm the department coordinator who works directly with her? But WTF?? It makes my life a lot harder at work with her doing all this behind me and behaving this way and I am the last person to know about it just before we have to carry out the task in hand!

*hair all ripped out*
Rant done.

But seriously, how do YOU deal with people like this??

 

[Rosebolt]

I don't have the time at the moment to write a solid response, but what i tend to do with people such as those, is use my favourite type of humour.

Sarcasm. If you take all she does and return it in a sarcastic manner, not only will you have the time of your life, but also one annoying coworker less.

 

[Poguesy]

Sounds like a typical woman in the workplace.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I don't have the time at the moment to write a solid response, but what i tend to do with people such as those, is use my favourite type of humour.

Sarcasm. If you take all she does and return it in a sarcastic manner, not only will you have the time of your life, but also one annoying coworker less.

Sarcasm? I tried that in the beginning a little bit. But when you're so focused and busy at work and just want to get things done, there is no time to think of sarcastic remarks. Sometimes the things she does is so... ugh that the only reaction I can give is.. totally nothing.

Sounds like a typical woman in the workplace.

Not for my case. The other women in my workplace can at least behave professionally. Sighs.

 

[painter's radio]

 

[Tiina63]

Do any of your other colleagues find her difficult as well? I found when I was working that sometimes if someone else felt the same way about a colleague we could let off steam together which helped us to cope better with the person. I don't mean bitching and backstabbing but simply talking about how you feel.

 

[CAS]

Wait for her after work (preferably somewhere secluded and dark), get her in a headlock and threaten to kill her and all of her family if she doesn't get off your case.

She won't bother you again!!

 

[Veruca]

Ugh sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything lady. I do pretty much what you do, which is to ignore. And once I reach y wits end I just lose though thankfully such characters leave before that happens.

I guess you have the option of talking to her with your current position? Might that work?

 

[Edward W]

^ As Veruca says, do you have any official power over her? Speak to her, tell her she is regarded for working hard and coming up with ideas, but there have been complaints that she is not a team player which is causing tension. If it continues this will be noted on her record?

Or if you are aware others feel the same way can you raise it with your manager to step in and talk to her?

Sounds like a hard situation, hope it gets resolved for you.

 

[duff]

Okay, there was a new addition to my department this year. But she confuses me. On one hand I think she's an awesome worker, she gives some really great ideas and she's innovative.

On the other hand, these are the issues I'm facing with her:

- Temperamental, moody, short-tempered, pulls a long face all the time (this I can totally overlook and deal with)
- Debates at every thing presented to her
- Acts unprofessionally
- Agrees to something (a plan or schedule) and then later on in the last minute, complain otherwise (this happened sooooooooooooo many freakin times it's driving me insane)
- Fickle-minded at everything!!!
- Blames others for her lack of involvement in certain compulsory projects when she is obviously not interested in participating

I have dealt with several difficult people in my career and many times I've felt like omg I can't deal with this person and I'm going insane in the next second but so far I've pulled through thankfully.

But this has got to be the most boiling, most challenging and most annoying colleague I've ever had!!

Recently, she's created some hoohaa with another department in which I had to step in to rectify the issue and actually bring both supervisors together to sit down and come to a resolution. She was going to heat it up to the bosses which would have brought up wayyyyy more issues.

I think it has reached my maximum tolerance level for such bullshit. I have now turned to ignoring her but each day, there is something new she dishes out either at my other colleague, or at my supervisor.

My goodness, if I could quit my job - I totally would have months ago because I cannot and right now refuse to tolerate her.

Note:
She never dishes it out right in front of me or to me probably because I'm the department coordinator who works directly with her? But WTF?? It makes my life a lot harder at work with her doing all this behind me and behaving this way and I am the last person to know about it just before we have to carry out the task in hand!

*hair all ripped out*
Rant done.

But seriously, how do YOU deal with people like this??

She sounds like a major pain in the arse. I don't think she will change. People like her never do ! Hopefully for you she may leave pretty quickly. I wouldn't quit your job because of her. Why should you ? Maybe she will get the sack ?

 

[Poguesy]

Wait for her after work (preferably somewhere secluded and dark), get her in a headlock and threaten to kill her and all of her family if she doesn't get off your case.

She won't bother you again!!

This.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Ow! That's gotta hurt.

Do any of your other colleagues find her difficult as well? I found when I was working that sometimes if someone else felt the same way about a colleague we could let off steam together which helped us to cope better with the person. I don't mean bitching and backstabbing but simply talking about how you feel.

Yes, my other colleagues find her just as difficult and unpleasant. We do talk about it with each other, but in all honesty, we end up bitching about her really. Because there is no solution. We've tried to confront her, talk to her about what should be done or needs to be done, what the issue is but it doesn't seem to get through to her.

Ugh sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything lady. I do pretty much what you do, which is to ignore. And once I reach y wits end I just lose though thankfully such characters leave before that happens.

I guess you have the option of talking to her with your current position? Might that work?

Yeah all this while, the difficult person usually leaves eventually. But this one's pretty solidly permanent. I totally feel like leaving!
With my position? Yes I've spoken to her. I was pretty straightforward with her on things. And usually she will agree and say okay to me, and then later on complain about it behind my back to my other colleagues. I confronted her once, and she just behaved as if she was confused!! Ugh.

^ As Veruca says, do you have any official power over her? Speak to her, tell her she is regarded for working hard and coming up with ideas, but there have been complaints that she is not a team player which is causing tension. If it continues this will be noted on her record?

Or if you are aware others feel the same way can you raise it with your manager to step in and talk to her?

Sounds like a hard situation, hope it gets resolved for you.

Well I don't have that sort of power to put stuff on her record. I did speak to my supervisor about this.. but my supervisor is trying to make peace and calm but she doesn't know what it's like to actually work with this person!

She sounds like a major pain in the arse. I don't think she will change. People like her never do ! Hopefully for you she may leave pretty quickly. I wouldn't quit your job because of her. Why should you ? Maybe she will get the sack ?

Yeah she won't change and she won't leave - I'm pretty sure about this. She's happy where she is because I feel like she wants to take over and lead instead. And I don't think she will get the sack. It's difficult to get the sack in my job unless they commit a serious offence. This isn't one of them lol.

Wait for her after work (preferably somewhere secluded and dark), get her in a headlock and threaten to kill her and all of her family if she doesn't get off your case.

She won't bother you again!!

This.

Gosh you guys are brutal!

Thanks guys for your replies. I still don't know what to do but just put up and tolerate? But I really don't think I can anymore! :\

 

[Veruca]

Ugh, I'm sorry girl, that sucks *hugs*

Perhaps with enough complains your supervisor will take a more assertive stand and at the very least move her to a different department. Hang in there girl! And hey, Cas' and Poguesy's plans aren't that bad you know . Alternatively you could just annoy the heck out of her until she can't stand you (which of course is impossible since you're lovely so...I guess that won't work )

Hang in there friend!

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

I had someone like this in one of my group projects. I found what worked for me was to not "give a honeysuckle". I would give her sympathetic nods to her pleas and demands, but ultimately it was more peaceful and empowering for me to shrug it off and refuse to get sucked into the drama. I just gave a constipated smile and walked away.

As Veruca said, sometimes you just have to ignore it, or at least pretend to. Power struggles like this can be very draining. If I was in your position, try to decrease complaining about her with other people. You'll only fan the fire and give her more power over you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Ugh, I'm sorry girl, that sucks *hugs*

Perhaps with enough complains your supervisor will take a more assertive stand and at the very least move her to a different department. Hang in there girl! And hey, Cas' and Poguesy's plans aren't that bad you know . Alternatively you could just annoy the heck out of her until she can't stand you (which of course is impossible since you're lovely so...I guess that won't work )

Hang in there friend!

Thanks babe. You're right though, I'm pretty bad at deliberately annoying people haha. It uses up so much effort!
*hugs* your support is very much appreciated!!

I had someone like this in one of my group projects. I found what worked for me was to not "give a honeysuckle". I would give her sympathetic nods to her pleas and demands, but ultimately it was more peaceful and empowering for me to shrug it off and refuse to get sucked into the drama. I just gave a constipated smile and walked away.

As Veruca said, sometimes you just have to ignore it, or at least pretend to. Power struggles like this can be very draining. If I was in your position, try to decrease complaining about her with other people. You'll only fan the fire and give her more power over you.

I think you're right, Sarah. Ignoring is so much easier than being affected and getting so worked up about it. I do my best to ignore her, but see, the things she decides or fickles about has consequences and effects to the entire department and I end up having to resolve a mix up or an argument or an issue started by her. All these years, things have been running smoothly, and suddenly her way of doing things just mess everything up - despite me reminding her that we have a different system running.

After speaking to my supervisor again, she said this to me - "Sometimes, you gotta understand, she's a mother of 3 and is probably undergoing a lot of stress". *smacks head* Sometimes I think even my supervisor can't make it. It's not about that, her character and personality towards others and work shows no relation to any stress whatsoever. Her temperamental moods? Yes. Perhaps.

But thanks, Sarah. I just wish she'd realise that there is no competition going on because the way she's going on about things is as though she's competing and trying to mess other people up so she can rise.

Oh to add on, I should also say that when she found out I was undergoing treatment for my recently diagnosed cancer, she said to me that I am definitely going to be feeling very weak and useless that I should take as many medical days leave as possible because she'll be around to take over my duties.

 

[Omnisiac]

Wait for her after work (preferably somewhere secluded and dark), get her in a headlock and threaten to kill her and all of her family if she doesn't get off your case.

She won't bother you again!!

This.

Definitely this, but get all the girls involved. It will be a therepeutic, team building exercise.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Wait for her after work (preferably somewhere secluded and dark), get her in a headlock and threaten to kill her and all of her family if she doesn't get off your case.

She won't bother you again!!

This.

Definitely this, but get all the girls involved. It will be a therepeutic, team building exercise.

Lmao.. I can just imagine it.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

What a stupid *****. You just need to tell her you dont ahve time for her bullshit (not in that manner thouh, more proffessional, but still firm) and if she ha any issues, she can go the supervisors etc. Tell he that yuo arent gonna tolerate her sort of behavior becase you ahve 'problems of your own' and she isnt helping (yeah, tell her that, tell her straight) aain, if she doesnt like it, she can go and tell the superiors. Be straiht with her, no use 'igorin' people like this, because if it isnt you shes doin it to, itll be someone else and she wont ******* learn a thing. People like this need to learn some hard lessons and FAST.

 

[ladyforsaken]

What a stupid *****. You just need to tell her you dont ahve time for her bullshit (not in that manner thouh, more proffessional, but still firm) and if she ha any issues, she can go the supervisors etc. Tell he that yuo arent gonna tolerate her sort of behavior becase you ahve 'problems of your own' and she isnt helping (yeah, tell her that, tell her straight) aain, if she doesnt like it, she can go and tell the superiors. Be straiht with her, no use 'igorin' people like this, because if it isnt you shes doin it to, itll be someone else and she wont ******* learn a thing. People like this need to learn some hard lessons and FAST.

Yeah but she's pretty dead set in her ways and I'm sure there's nothing I can do to change her no matter what. I'd only be wasting my time... she's not open to other people's views and opinions, I've tried this. So it goes to show that she doesn't and won't change - not anytime soon at least.

But thanks for your input, JALG. I guess this can be done when that particular person is more.. receptive.