Do I roll the dice and lay it on the line

[Hauntyoueveryday]

I've mentioned this woman before. But I haven't really spoken about it in detail.

I did this short film in July that I wrote,directed and starred in. An actress was it in that at that time I've known for six to seven months. I had her on for another short film and she was going to be my romantic interest. But that short lost funding and I did this one out of pocket.

During the months before this shoot we emailed and texted each other quite a bit. Looking back I haven't texted a woman this much in years.

She lives with her boyfriend and for a while I really didn't look at her sexually. But after spending hours with her on set it changed. I guess her personality got me attracted to her.

For months I've had her in my mind. To the point that after a very shitty birthday (no one wished me happy birthday) I messaged her on facebook. I didn't lay it all on the lines (I didn't ask her out and etc). But I was honest about being emotionally messed, how I didn't want to disrespect her relationship, how I didn't want to let her down, how she inspired the short in a way.

She was very nice in her reply and said she had a great time filming and loved talking to me. I responded with something about inspiration and it was kinda left at that. I've spoken to her a few times since. But it's been about the short only.

The intensity of my thoughts on her have chilled. But I still can't get her out of my mind. My pick up artist peers would say that I am in scarcity and need to meet more women (maybe). But you can't close your heart to the things that you don't want to feel.

So what should I do? She still lives with her boyfriend. Am I mindfucking myself?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I've mentioned this woman before. But I haven't really spoken about it in detail.

I did this short film in July that I wrote,directed and starred in. An actress was it in that at that time I've known for six to seven months. I had her on for another short film and she was going to be my romantic interest. But that short lost funding and I did this one out of pocket.

During the months before this shoot we emailed and texted each other quite a bit. Looking back I haven't texted a woman this much in years.

She lives with her boyfriend and for a while I really didn't look at her sexually. But after spending hours with her on set it changed. I guess her personality got me attracted to her.

For months I've had her in my mind. To the point that after a very shitty birthday (no one wished me happy birthday) I messaged her on facebook. I didn't lay it all on the lines (I didn't ask her out and etc). But I was honest about being emotionally messed, how I didn't want to disrespect her relationship, how I didn't want to let her down, how she inspired the short in a way.

She was very nice in her reply and said she had a great time filming and loved talking to me. I responded with something about inspiration and it was kinda left at that. I've spoken to her a few times since. But it's been about the short only.

The intensity of my thoughts on her have chilled. But I still can't get her out of my mind. My pick up artist peers would say that I am in scarcity and need to meet more women (maybe). But you can't close your heart to the things that you don't want to feel.

So what should I do? She still lives with her boyfriend. Am I mindfucking myself?

Yes.

If she's living with some guy then it must be serious so you haven't much of a chance.
You can keep her as a casual friend but if this isn't enough then you will only get more miserable.
So you need to make some big decisions.
By the way congratulations on doing something so cool as making a short film !
Is there any chance we can see it ?

 

[Wayfarer]

Well you should do what you feel it's the right thing to do.
If you think the feeling is going to fade away with time, as it partly has, then the right thing to do is to let time run its course imho.
If you are serious about it, then there's many things you can do and I'm not good at advising on this side.
If you don't know, just stay friends.

I know I make it seem easy. Sorry about that.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wouldn't take some attention for interest. I can't speak for her obviously, but it seems like she was just being friendly. If you feel like you should let her know you have more feelings for her, then you do that. But I can't honestly say I think that she thought anything more of it. Being nice is far different from being flirty and interested.

 

[lonelypanda]

I'm gonna advise against it. She is in a relationship, if you are her friend and care about her don't put stress on her relationship. Maybe one day she'll be single and then you could go for it. I've had crushes on men in relationships before, I would never express that because I didn't want to make them feel awkward or disrespect their relationship.

Two people are coming to mind to me right now. (This was when I was single). One of them after getting to know him better we actually became great friends, I could never picture being with him now. We aren't romantically connected, even if he and I were single I'd have no interest. Another one I had a pretty huge thing for him and it wasn't something that would ever be "just friends" so I distanced myself because I felt really guilty lusting over someone who was taken. Every now and again I think about him, if he ever ended up single and I ran I to him I wouldn't be opposed to trying to make more out of it if I was single too. I always think if it was meant to be it will happen, if you focus all your energy on someone you can't have you're not leaving yourself open to new people you meet.

 

[Hauntyoueveryday]

Triple: I don't really talk to her like that. I've always kept our communication pretty low.
We've been submitting it to festivals and cannot have it online. Perhaps after the festival run.

Way: I'm in the middle. I just want this out of my mind. Been there for months. Nothing seems to help it go away.

Vanilla: There are a few things that I am leaving that. I do believe that there is mutual attraction. It doesn't matter if you are married for twenty years and happy, you will see people that you are attracted to. Acting on it is another thing. I don't think she would. Women are passive to do that in most situations anyway.

Lonelypanda: I don't really get the opportunity to meet new people a lot these days. I've been in a financial crisis lately and I have been a little tired of the bar/club scene (though part of me wants to start going out again) I am sure that has something to do with this.