Do minorities make friends more easily? (with each other)

[ardour]

Maybe this should be posted in the controversial forum but there are only political topics discussed there.

I studied and work at a university in New Zealand with a high number of immigrants and international students - mostly from East Asia. After years of being around people from this background, including some 'friends' who turned out to be more like aquaintances in the end, I get the rather obvious impression that many Asian immigrants auto-friend each other while being totally oblivious to other races – which leads to me question, don't they have an easier time making friends? It's like this even when shared culture and language aren't a such factor. Koreans sometimes mingle with Chinese, Mandarin with Cantonese speakers even though that means speaking in English. Indian and Middle Eastern minorities do the same yet they seem to take an interest in outsiders more, like there isn't such an extreme self-imposed segregation going on there.

I get that we have every right to stick to those we feel comfortable around and shared experience in a new country encourages people to stick with each other - but I can't help thinking there's more to it. White/European society is like some fragmented, individualized non-culture - there aren't the religious practices or traditions that bind a society together and provide opportunities for people to know one another. 'Western' society is where we don't even know our neighbours names, most of us don't practice Christianity any more -so that's gone, and any 'culture' we have left to with nuclear family suburbia is more about economic necessity. Can getting drunk at a bar or sporting event really count?

If you took the average white loner youth with issues and somehow gave them a Chinese background wouldn’t they more than likely gain a group of Chinese friends? As member of the privileged majority, I find myself increasingly feeling like an unattractive white male looking in on others worlds that I can never be a part of. Cultureless, empty. Does anyone (like me) feel like that? I guess it depends on where you live. This thread probably sounds idiotic. Asian people (I hate saying 'Asian') no offence intended, I don't want to imply you aren't individuals with problems like the rest of us.

 

[fox]

Um.. well, I am not sure about others, but it is my experience that.. I am a minority in the place I live and it does not help at all for making friends(if it hinders, I do not know). But I am the sort, have no wish to make friends only on basis of ethnic background. If some person has this in common with me, is there any reason to believe.. it is likely I will get along with them, or will there be any other thing in common? Probably there is not. So, it does not give any advantage to me.

 

[Barbaloot]

Eh, I would say it's just simply because of who they feel comfortable and familiar with. In my experience, there isn't really much more to it than that. And of course, some people are more than happy to make friends with the 'natives' instead, and who is a minority where differs a lot.
But many people just simply gravitate towards others with a shared language, culture, or experience, be it based on nation, language, region of origin or the simple fact that the other person is a foreigner.

I have spent a lot of time in other countries and I find the trend to be the same - and it's pretty much always because it's what they are comfortable with in environments unfamiliar and alien to themselves. If you moved to a completely different country and exposed yourself to situations where you would actually meet people, it's likely you would form instant friends, or at least brief companions for your stay, amongst other foreigners as well.

And young people, especially those studying abroad, particularly have a difficult time reaching beyond what they're used to, and, when dealing with 'culture shock', home sickness, and the need to simply adapt to an environment and culture entirely unlike their own, familiarity or a sense of shared experience rules, so it's a very common trend in university settings.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

i live in the USA..from Small towns to Metropolist.

Im Thia. I dont have any Asian friends.
Asians make up for 1% average anywhere i live.
Out of that 1%....10 % Are my age group.
Out of that....i seldom meet other Thai people.

It depends where i live that i well be more
accepted. Not everyone is closed minded.
Some people are will traveled. while others
still live in bubble.

A majority of my friends are cacasian.
Ive only dated cucasian women.
Its more common to see cucasian men with
asain women.

My background is sort of mixed or dyfunctional.
My step father is cucasin.

---

I Grew up in SoCal....
i feel like a fucken Banananana.lmao

In inner cities. Theres sector that are just
one particukar race, such as china town...ect
Theres thai, korean communities...ect.

In smaller cummunities...I basially
stick out like a door knob.
Ive also lived in certain part of TX or NV...
Its still sort of like the wild wild west mentality.

---

Both of daughter are half white and Thai.
Genetic and gender...they have it in their favor.
High sicial status. No shortage of men or people
wanting to get to know them.

one of them live in TX. Most of her friends
are cucasian due to simple geography.

the other one lives in Hollywood.
Shes more will traveled. She has varity of
friends and gender.

 

[passage]

Kind of, but there are plenty of loners amongst the minorities as well. You probably just don't notice them. But ya, there share something in common so I guess that breaks the ice for them.

 

[HappyYogi]

I agree that our culture maybe less tight need because of less a need to be and because our some old traditions are gone but I disagree that we don't have culture.

I have culture! Culture is what you do to have fun enjoy yourself, how you dress, what you eat, how you celebrate. I'll tell you I have culture....I make special meals, I like to dress up, I walk my dogs and partake in cultural stuff, I ride my bike...all this counts for culture. I am just giving a few things I do that make up my culture...what are yours?

So please don't sell your culture short!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Based on just the title alone, I'd say no. I'm all types of races, and it's really never changed anything from the average or done anything special for me. Though I will say this, there are some black people that I know who tried to be my friend simply for the fact that I'm Puerto Rican, which didn't make any sense to me. I didn't really pay them any mind, but I suppose things like that do happen.

 

[Ak5]

Naturally, we all make friends with those who share the same interests or do the same things we are. Being of the same "color" so to say, can play a role; but it does not mean that it's IMPOSSIBLE to make friends with people of other races and such.

 

[Dragonfriend]

I find it hard to friend those of my same culture. I'm a latina and I lack that wild aura that most latinas exude. Hell, I even find it hard to friend people of my gender. I can't seem to fit anywhere.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

To my awareness, many minority groups do have a difficulty in making friends with other races/cultures, especially in the United States, which has always been a multicultural society with a white-dominant population. Such minorities have been undeniably labeled as inferior by the majority races, and this attitude has been carried down over generations either unknowingly or intentionally; for it has become a permanence in most Western societies. The reason why most minority races tend to mingle with others of their own race, or races that are geographically and physically similar; is most likely due to their inability to become socially integrated in such an environment where they can not be wholly accepted. They may not know how to associate with other races, or they simply may not want to.

 

[SophiaGrace]

It depends. Is the person going to an all black college? Then, i would say no.

Is the person going to an all white college that has a black student union? then i'd say yes.

 

[ajdass1]

My perspective on this is that I'm half English, half Indian, born and raised in Malaysia, but I talk like an American and people sometimes mistake me for Latino or Native American because of the long black hair and my skin tone.

When I first came to England I had literally never seen so many white people before in my life. It was really intimidating. When I think of the crowd at my university, I didn't see a bunch of white loner youths with issues - instead, lots of white kids all banding together, getting drunk and being happy and white together. In reality there are lots of divisions inside the majority white English community, but those divisions might be inscrutable for someone who doesn't know about them. Which makes it far more appealing to stick to your own race - not only are likely to be more culturally aware of them, but the feeling of being an outsider is also a powerful bond.

I think Asian societies are still more social, particularly when it comes to family. Nuclear family and extended family all just blur into one. It's more common for multiple generations to live together; it's more common to see grown women going out shopping with their mothers; that kind of thing. On the flipside there are plenty of cultural issues such as homophobia, arranged marriages, sexism, etc.

Having said that, there are loners and misfits in every society. Maybe there's some Malaysian professor at UM looking at the Australian transfer students and going, "ah, those Aussies get along so well."

 

[Lost Drifter]

Such minorities have been undeniably labeled as inferior by the majority races, and this attitude has been carried down over generations either unknowingly or intentionally; for it has become a permanence in most Western societies.

It’s very much the same in the United Kingdom too. For as much our country talks of tolerance and acceptance trying being Chinese or (as in my case) mixed-European, it seems racism is still considered acceptable towards some ethnicities.

I’ve also been a minority during my travels and all I can say is that while it brings you more attention it isn’t necessarily a good thing though some of the worst intolerance I have ever encountered was amongst others westerners in Japan. Talk about a bitter and aggressive community, older ex-pats would routinely pick on new arrivals, power trips, popularity contests, general mean spirited bitterness towards anyone doing ok for themselves etc. I’ve always said the worst thing about Japan was the westerners, very little sense of community and support but lots of pettiness and childish behaviour. It’s no wonder the rest of the world considers us a different species.

 

[HappyYogi]

My feeling is that while people initially gravitate towards others of the same race/nationality true friendship is born out of something on the inside. I know this because I am a white female in my 40's and my best friend is from Mexico. Physically we are as different as night and day, oweing to the beautiful diversity of humans on the planet, but on the inside we are true friends. We have much the same sensibilities, etc. I've had other experiences like this as well... where the person has radically different nationality but we are very compatible.

 

[ardour]

To my awareness, many minority groups do have a difficulty in making friends with other races/cultures, especially in the United States, which has always been a multicultural society with a white-dominant population. Such minorities have been undeniably labeled as inferior by the majority races, and this attitude has been carried down over generations either unknowingly or intentionally; for it has become a permanence in most Western societies. The reason why most minority races tend to mingle with others of their own race, or races that are geographically and physically similar; is most likely due to their inability to become socially integrated in such an environment where they can not be wholly accepted. They may not know how to associate with other races, or they simply may not want to.

There's more of a multicultural society in Auckland and I doubt many East Asians feel labeled as inferior. They tend to have higher than average incomes and live in the more expensive areas. It seems they just prefer to mingle amongst themselves for other reasons.