do nice people finish last?

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twinklestar

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Im a nice person, kind and considerate, generous, go out of my way for people....and i've got virtually NO friends..whereas someone i know quite well treats all her friends like rubbish, but has literally hundreds of friends(some of them falling at her feet).....I very rarely see any of my friends nowadays but they all seem to make lots of time for this girl....i don't get it!
 
The problem is that there are a ton of problems in life that can not be solved by being too nice. People need to be called on their **** sometimes. And not offering that is pretty much being aloof. Likely though you can't understand any of that and that is of course the problem.

Stop seeking perfection that is a falsehood.

The problem is our culture can lead people to strive to be things that most people don't want.
 
If your too nice, you end up last. If you're too much of an ass, you'll end up last as well.

Be nice and tough, all in its appropriate time.
 
twinklestar said:
Im a nice person, kind and considerate, generous, go out of my way for people....and i've got virtually NO friends..whereas someone i know quite well treats all her friends like rubbish, but has literally hundreds of friends(some of them falling at her feet).....I very rarely see any of my friends nowadays but they all seem to make lots of time for this girl....i don't get it!

you only have to look at twats like Jordan(Katie Price), Simon Cowell or those twats on The only Way is Essex to get your answer. They are self obsessed cunts who will honeysuckle all over anyone and they display the most phenomenal greed and vanity. yet everyone wants to be them and people are fighting and will stab you in the eye to get a chance to be around them.

Its all part of the same thing, it is why the Occupy movement is happening. Western society is sick. Greed and Self-interest have taken over big time. There is no community or compassion for your fellow man (or women) anymore. It's self, Self Self all the way.

This is a true story, I was on the bus coming home the other day and there was a man lying in the grass next to a bike at the side of the road, he had obviously come off his bike. Not only were all the cars passing him by but people were walking past no one checking to see if he is alright.

If you put your niceness out there you may get people take from you, but you will struggle to get any back I have found.

These are darker times than most of you realize.
 
Nice people get crushed in this society. When the piece of excrement Darwin wrote his books, publicizing his Malthusian theories, the capitalist ethnarchs and imperialists used it as a sort of scientific justification and incitement to intensify their already high level of exploitation. So many tend to believe that the richer elites have some higher character, drive, determination that justifies their position and wealth. These higher echelons are not achievable for most, but many even on this site seek to submit as much institutional education as they can to become comparatively privileged enough to perhaps serve this corporate elite as professional imbeciles who will never question the social role of their work nor the ideology of the company they work for.

I remember reading the beginning of Howard Zinn's People's History of the United States:
Zinn and Colomubus said:
Arawak men and women, naked, tawny, and full of wonder, emerged from their villages onto the island's beaches and swam out to get a closer look at the strange big boat. When Columbus and his sailors came ashore, carrying swords, speaking oddly, the Arawaks ran to greet them, brought them food, water, gifts. He later wrote of this in his log:
"They... brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned.... They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features.... They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane.... They would make fine servants.... With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want."
These Arawaks of the Bahama Islands were much like Indians on the mainland, who were remarkable (European observers were to say again and again) for their hospitality, their belief in sharing. These traits did not stand out in the Europe of the Renaissance, dominated as it was by the religion of popes, the government of kings, the frenzy for money that marked Western civilization and its first messenger to the Americas, Christopher Columbus.

...

The Indians, Columbus reported, "are so naive and so free with their possessions that no one who has not witnessed them would believe it. When you ask for something they have, they never say no. To the contrary, they offer to share with anyone...." He concluded his report by asking for a little help from their Majesties, and in return he would bring them from his next voyage "as much gold as they need . . . and as many slaves as they ask." He was full of religious talk: "Thus the eternal God, our Lord, gives victory to those who follow His way over apparent impossibilities."
Because of Columbus's exaggerated report and promises, his second expedition was given seventeen ships and more than twelve hundred men. The aim was clear: slaves and gold. They went from island to island in the Caribbean, taking Indians as captives. But as word spread of the Europeans' intent they found more and more empty villages. On Haiti, they found that the sailors left behind at Fort Navidad had been killed in a battle with the Indians, after they had roamed the island in gangs looking for gold, taking women and children as slaves for sex and labor.
Now, from his base on Haiti, Columbus sent expedition after expedition into the interior. They found no gold fields, but had to fill up the ships returning to Spain with some kind of dividend. In the year 1495, they went on a great slave raid, rounded up fifteen hundred Arawak men, women, and children, put them in pens guarded by Spaniards and dogs, then picked the five hundred best specimens to load onto ships. Of those five hundred, two hundred died en route. The rest arrived alive in Spain and were put up for sale by the archdeacon of the town, who reported that, although the slaves were "naked as the day they were born," they showed "no more embarrassment than animals." Columbus later wrote: "Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold."

If you look at the history and ethos of our civilization we celebrate genocidal, greedy imperialists like Columbus and other exploiters. The kind Arawak "deserved" extirpation for being of lesser racial stock, not capable enough for Darwinian competition. Most the forumers here seem to go or want go to university/college so they can obedient, outside regulated servants of the corporate descendants of men like Columbus.

There is no hope for the future, the wicked have an almost total victory, their power is too great, they even control the minds of the kinder exploited classes through too many hours spent on tv, media, at schooling, or a corporate workplace. The more unsavory you are, the less virtuous you are imagined to be, the more "friends"(trading of course quantity for quality) you will tend to have. The nicer you are, the more you will be run roughshod over, the more you will be abused and taken advantage of by the socially privileged wicked.
 
I think they do. For some reason people with nasty selfish personalities get seen and noticed. They use manipulation and control to get what they need, and somehow it works - they never have to be alone. Whereas I'm always nice to people, giving and caring and what I get is a knife in my back, being left friendless and getting knocked down by these disgusting people day in day out.

However, I refuse to be one of them! The endless occurence of these horrible social episodes do really make me hate those creatures and this society. I hate it here, just absolutely hate it here!!
 
I'm not super nice and I've got no friends so I think unfortunately its just the luck of the draw and nothing really to do with if you're nice or not.
 
At the schools that I've been, nice people thrive. However, it isn't the only factor that goes into being socially successful. Sure, the people that seem to have lots of friends are very nice and friendly people, but at the same time they are outgoing and not shy about their opinions. I think people find this outgoing personality extremely attractive as a person and befriend them. The nice thing is like an added bonus. That leaves me, being the nice person but also socially awkward and shy, not having any friends.

I think every situation is different, but in essence it's hard to have friends just by being nice alone. By carefully observing exactly what makes those mean people have so many people striving to be them, perhaps you can learn exactly what the most important factor is? Then again, I could just be too optimistic and in reality people are masochistic in nature. Who knows.
 
cumulus.james said:
This is a true story, I was on the bus coming home the other day and there was a man lying in the grass next to a bike at the side of the road, he had obviously come off his bike. Not only were all the cars passing him by but people were walking past no one checking to see if he is alright.

If you put your niceness out there you may get people take from you, but you will struggle to get any back I have found.

These are darker times than most of you realize.

Sadly, when you think about it, the world is more messed up than it is positive.

There have been nonsensical, vicious wars in Africa for decades, more people in the world are awfully poor than those that have acceptable living wages.

Here in the UK violent criminality seems to be going on without restraint (just look at the riots), some dick can stab you to death for no reason and only get 5 years of jail time.

People are becoming more vain, shallow and self-obsessed as you noted and more and more elements of new technology and social progression are heading towards a collective selfish attitude. It's just the way things have been encouraged in the last 10 or so years I think.

That's not to say there aren't glimmers of hope. I'd say most people are fairly decent, it's just as a whole society seems to have this horribly cruel streak to it sometimes.

People start to lose respect for each other when they are ignorant. The modern age is awash with people who are ignorant, and so the lack of respect follows.

During the London riots, many of the ******* idiots they interviewed who were stealing stuff didn't even know who the Prime Minister was. More people in the world = more stupidity = exponential growth of morons who don't treat others well.

Simple but sad. I still have hope though.
 
TheSolitaryMan said:
cumulus.james said:
This is a true story, I was on the bus coming home the other day and there was a man lying in the grass next to a bike at the side of the road, he had obviously come off his bike. Not only were all the cars passing him by but people were walking past no one checking to see if he is alright.

If you put your niceness out there you may get people take from you, but you will struggle to get any back I have found.

These are darker times than most of you realize.

Sadly, when you think about it, the world is more messed up than it is positive.

There have been nonsensical, vicious wars in Africa for decades, more people in the world are awfully poor than those that have acceptable living wages.

Here in the UK violent criminality seems to be going on without restraint (just look at the riots), some dick can stab you to death for no reason and only get 5 years of jail time.

People are becoming more vain, shallow and self-obsessed as you noted and more and more elements of new technology and social progression are heading towards a collective selfish attitude. It's just the way things have been encouraged in the last 10 or so years I think.

That's not to say there aren't glimmers of hope. I'd say most people are fairly decent, it's just as a whole society seems to have this horribly cruel streak to it sometimes.

People start to lose respect for each other when they are ignorant. The modern age is awash with people who are ignorant, and so the lack of respect follows.

During the London riots, many of the ******* idiots they interviewed who were stealing stuff didn't even know who the Prime Minister was. More people in the world = more stupidity = exponential growth of morons who don't treat others well.

Simple but sad. I still have hope though.
I'm right with you there Solitaryman. The times we live in are either the transition period to a greater human society or the beginning of the end. I rather fear its more likely to be the beginning of the end for the human race.
 
TropicalStarfish said:
Nice people don't finish last, it's just when they get to the finish line they feel bad for the losers so they stop and let them finish first, lol.

LOL I like that.

 
Are you sure you aren't mistaking needy for nice though?
I have been ‘nice’ simply because I wanted others to be nice to me. It means you will say what you think the other wants to hear, act submissive, moulding your personality around theirs rather than being your own person. People sense it, and it's frustrating because they feel that there is no point in knowing you.
That said there are a lot of aholes in this world, and auto-respect seems to be given to self-interested, agressive, assertive individuals.
 
You can be nice but you don't have to let yourself finish last .......... meaning you don't have to let people run all over you. Letting people run all over you is not being nice... it's being an idiot.

I've found creating personal boundaries prevents a lot of the negative/abusive actions of others that can be committed against you.
 
"Finishing last" implies that life is some sort of race or competition which it isn't. Everyone should just live, end of. Be nice don't be nice things will work out or they won't.
 
annik said:
"Finishing last" implies that life is some sort of race or competition which it isn't. Everyone should just live, end of. Be nice don't be nice things will work out or they won't.

Tell that to the nice complacent black slaves we had in the south...
 
I think I read somewhere that all the people not helping someone who is hurt or sick on the street is a normal psychological response.

Don't remember where I read it, was a long time ago.
 

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