viviana said:
i am still obsessing over this person i met this last summer. and since i think about him constantly. does anybody out there have had the mutual experience before, or just believe that maybe somewhere out there he is thinking about me too, or my obsession might have the power to make his thoughts sway in my direction, or maayybe....just maybe he thinks about me that..'s why i keep thinking about him for some reason. Hmmm
i already tried to sing "life goes on" song, by Leanne Rimes and it does not help.
i keep going back to listen to Mariah Carey songs about lost love. like the "Fourth of July" song.
[/font]HELP!
yeah..I get ya.
Been there and done that...
I tried everything under the sun...money, work, partying, god, other women.
I even tried to convience myself to hate her...
Yes, life went on without her but I always had a feeling something
was missing out of my life or it was half empty. And I sure as hell
couldn't speak about it to other women that came into my life.
Sometimes I feel like I'm living a fucken lie without her.
Life is just one big fucken lie and whatever the hell honeysuckle I make up
to cover up the truth that I love her...
It's like a secret I had to keep to myself. Sometimes
I'll write about her in my journal so that I can cope and not have
her on my mind all the time...and all hell would break lose if people
gose through my diary or journal. Then that relationship gets all
been out of shape...then I feel even more retarded and guilty.
I'll even talk to other people about it...And it just hurts me more.
I feel even more angery when people tell me I should stop loving
her...life gose on and all that good honeysuckle. Or there's something wrong
with me, that I might be inmature, have relationship problems, i don't love myself
or some crazy honeysuckle...I get even more fuastrated and angery.
I'll even go through stages of isolations or anti social.
I wish not to be tough by anyone except her...and it cuases distant between other relationships
in my life...but I can't tell people how I really feel.
The **** shrink even told me " don't you have somethings else
you want to do in life beside loving her?"...
That's so fucken retarded...
Just another way of telling me I should stop loving her and that I'm
messed up in the head for loving her.
I'll even do the oneday at a time , trying to staying the moment
so I wouldn't think about her...but she'll pop into my mind oneday
at a time too. I don't even have to carry a picture of her...
She roams my mind
I can't even bare to listen to our song...I'll freaken just break.
The only thing that resolved my anger, fuastrations, a lot of my depression or took away all my pains is that I'm able to tell her I love her and she tells me that she love me, today.
Well..if god is love. I love her and she loves me.
So when the fucken world tells me I can't love her...it's fucken retarded, confussing and backwards to me. So trying to live my life without her and trying other people's opionion
and idea to cope, make it fit or go on had pretty much drove my ass insane, nuratic and batty.
Err...I'm a fucken complicated person ..WTF?????
So it's been realitively simple and truthful. I love her very, very much and that's that.