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WallflowerGirl83

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Like people are better than you, you try to amount to something but anything you do you feel like a total failure?

That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.

Like people are pretending to be your friend cause they feel sorry for you and too afraid to hurt your feelings. And than in the end you were right.

That you don't even belong part of your family and wonder if you got adopted by them. Cause you feel so much different than they are. I've felt like this my whole life. I'm the black sheep in the family.

These are things how I feel, you may continue on this thread writing how things that happen in your life and how you feel about it. I tend to bottle things up and for those who do reply to this thread and be honest with how you feel and how things affect you.
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.

This, I feel like this whenever I go out in public. It happened to me though, when I was in high school. It was like I'd always run into those who bullied me, or those who didn't know me but were cruel. Even if I was with friends, I'd still hear their cruel words or see them making ignorant gestures. So now, even as an adult, I still feel like this. It is a very hard feeling to shake or ignore that is why I try not to make eye contact with anyone I pass by.
 
Yeah I have a bad habit of looking people in the face as well. Especially if I'm out in public or around people I don't know. Cause you never know how people will treat you.
 
When I was a kid, I used to have these daydreams where I'd find out I was adopted, and then everything would just make sense.

I wasn't adopted however, just never really felt I fitted in anywhere.

It's much the same now. I have kinda odd interests for a girl (sci fi, horror, model-kit making, conventions etc) so I never fit in with other females, and dont really have many friends, if any at all.


Edit - just saw your signature - I'm not the only horror fan girl who adores AHS it seems :)
 
Like people are pretending to be your friend cause they feel sorry for you and too afraid to hurt your feelings. And than in the end you were right.

I also feel like this from time to time, especially in situations when I feel as though there really isn't a strong connection to begin with.
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Like people are better than you, you try to amount to something but anything you do you feel like a total failure?
In some ways, pretty much everything related to social skills which (in face to face situations anyway) are pretty much non existent for me :/
The only things I am good at are kind of pointless (Archery and Drawing...)
WallflowerGirl83 said:
That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.
Definately, in my village it's because everyone knows everyone, but it happens in the rare occasion that I get out as well, I have no idea why, I don't think I look all that conspicuous :/
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Like people are pretending to be your friend cause they feel sorry for you and too afraid to hurt your feelings. And than in the end you were right.
This is pretty much what turned me into who I am today, although it wasn't so much friendship born out of pity as exploiting your kindness and then backstabbing you.
WallflowerGirl83 said:
That you don't even belong part of your family and wonder if you got adopted by them. Cause you feel so much different than they are. I've felt like this my whole life. I'm the black sheep in the family.
I actually kind of lucked out with my family (Well, most of it)
I get along with my parents pretty well, my cousin too.
My sister, not so much
Everyone else in the family is pretty much a stranger to me (God I hate it when they gather on a birthday and I have to sit around like some decoration listening to all their shameless self-glorification)
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Like people are better than you, you try to amount to something but anything you do you feel like a total failure?

That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.

Like people are pretending to be your friend cause they feel sorry for you and too afraid to hurt your feelings. And than in the end you were right.

That you don't even belong part of your family and wonder if you got adopted by them. Cause you feel so much different than they are. I've felt like this my whole life. I'm the black sheep in the family.

These are things how I feel, you may continue on this thread writing how things that happen in your life and how you feel about it. I tend to bottle things up and for those who do reply to this thread and be honest with how you feel and how things affect you.

I know I am not a failure at anything except in the romance department. I generally don't feel like a total failure until Friday night rolls around and I'm stuck at home alone...again.

When I go out sometimes I feel like Imm being judged since I'm alone. People see me and think "No wonder he's out alone. He's to {fat|ugly|both} to get anyone to go out with him".

I don't really have any family to speak of, so I can't comment on the whole family part. :(
 
Atl i think most of these voices are in your head because truely you look fine to me.
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Like people are better than you, you try to amount to something but anything you do you feel like a total failure?

That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.

Like people are pretending to be your friend cause they feel sorry for you and too afraid to hurt your feelings. And than in the end you were right.

That you don't even belong part of your family and wonder if you got adopted by them. Cause you feel so much different than they are. I've felt like this my whole life. I'm the black sheep in the family.

These are things how I feel, you may continue on this thread writing how things that happen in your life and how you feel about it. I tend to bottle things up and for those who do reply to this thread and be honest with how you feel and how things affect you.


I don't feel people are better than myself, but I do feel that a lot people deal with things better than I do. In return, I guess this makes me feel less capable.

I always feel a bit uncomfortable in public, like not comfortable with attention on me. I try to remember that there are probably others around me who are self conscious, like perhaps the cashier felt that way when I came in knowing they have to deal with another customer. It's nice to remember that most people care more about their own image than yours.

If I feel someone is pretending to like me, I don't talk to them anymore. Those people are not to be trusted as a friend.
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.

I feel like this from time to time.
 
I had a period when I felt that several years ago. It was terrible.. I was playing internet video games all day, didn't go to lectures, broke and far, far away from home, no family, and the only friends I had smoked weed all the time.. which doing their "activities" for a while really unlocked this paranoia.

Truth is, people DO judge you all the time but why should you even care? Go out and be the jury on them instead :p
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Like people are better than you, you try to amount to something but anything you do you feel like a total failure?
I sort of do. I feel like somehow everyone else does better than me, not that they ARE better. I've had a lot of bad experiences with hard work amounting to nothing, though, so I'm a bit envious of people who haven't had the "hard work pays off" illusion shattered so thoroughly.

That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.
I feel like this, but it's more a fear of reprisal, that they'll intentionally go out of their way to call any failings of mine to everyone's attention. It's an acute and emotional anxiety, because I know how ludicrous it is in terms of logic.

Like people are pretending to be your friend cause they feel sorry for you and too afraid to hurt your feelings. And than in the end you were right.
I fortunately haven't encountered this much. Something about my personality doesn't lead to people quietly having pity for me while pretending to be my friend.

That you don't even belong part of your family and wonder if you got adopted by them. Cause you feel so much different than they are. I've felt like this my whole life. I'm the black sheep in the family.
I don't really relate to my dad's side of the family. Their political and religious views are too polarized and different from mine. My mom's side is more reasonable and diverse, but I don't see them much. I'm also an only child.



Just my responses to the various things discussed here.
 
I used to feel like that as a kid in middle school all the time. It sucked, I got bullied and every day going to school was the worst torture I could imagine, thinking how much will I get hit today . It SUCKED. Until the beginning of 7th grade. On the first school day some kids were just talking and I happened to be there so of course they took a shot at me, saying something of the sort: "Oh and if you wanna you can just hit him." to a new kid in my class. That was the moment I decided that it wasn't gonna be this way anymore and I snapped, hit the kid in the face and told him to shut up. Surprisingly nobody bothered me anymore from that moment on, even thought I wasn't a particularly physically strong individual. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that change can happen easily. With me I just though enough is enough. Now I don't care about what other people think about me that much. Everybody seems to like that me a lot more than the small insecure kid, who was always trying to fit in.A word of advice: just be your own self, your own individual and don't try to fit in. It's fine the world seems to fit itself around you, not caring about things that are not worth caring about really take a load of your chest.
 
Sci-Fi said:
WallflowerGirl83 said:
That whenever your out in public you think people are judging you and making fun of you? I felt like this and I think it's my own paranoia.

This, I feel like this whenever I go out in public. It happened to me though, when I was in high school. It was like I'd always run into those who bullied me, or those who didn't know me but were cruel. Even if I was with friends, I'd still hear their cruel words or see them making ignorant gestures. So now, even as an adult, I still feel like this. It is a very hard feeling to shake or ignore that is why I try not to make eye contact with anyone I pass by.

same situation with me except it started as early as elementary school. from being bullied so many times i've become paranoid and have high anxiety anytime i'm in a crowd, in particular people my age or a school setting, or worse when people are in groups talking to their friends. i feel like they're talking about me and mocking me. my childhood has really screwed up my life and i wish i lived in an area which had more diversity so that i wouldn't be singled out as being the only brown kid. now even in college where people are finally mature enough to be tolerant (i was ALWAYS tolerant yet people hated me for it or thought i was an easy target for being nice) i'm still afaid of them so i avoid interaction as much as possible.
 
I feel like this so often.. I always think that people speak bad about me behind my back. :/ Everyone seem so perfect and me... total failure with life.
 
Nobody should feel like that and you're not alone. You know I'm a friend of you Fairy. :) and your not a failure.
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Nobody should feel like that and you're not alone. You know I'm a friend of you Fairy. :) and your not a failure.

Thank you a lot, WallflowerGirl. :> I know.. :) You seem good friend too.
 

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