Do you think that even the people who don't look lonely are lonely?

[gio]

I have wondered about this for a long time....

You know those people that you see who always look like they're surrounded by people and have tons of friends and are always having a good time, do you think that they too are really lonely and just hiding it very well, like many of us on this forum do? I have spoken to some friends of mine who seem to always be the life and soul of the party and they have told me that they too are very insecure and lonely alot of the time.

I wonder if maybe the truth is that just about everyone out there is lonely and some people just hide it better than others...or maybe some people just can't face up to it while others (like us on this forum) are much more acutely aware of it.

That raises another question for me...if everybody is lonely, is that just the nature of the human condition? Are we all born to be lonely? And if that's the case, then doesn't being lonely actually mean being the norm?

Lot to think about on the topic of lonliness.....

 

[lonelygirl]

I do think that SOME of the "popular folks" are lonely. I would guess they are the minority. However, there is a big difference between having a bunch of "fake friends" aka people who don't really care about you but want to socialize with you, versus real friends who actually care about you.

I don't need 20 fake friends. I'd rather have 3 or 4 close friends who really care!

 

[Guest]

You're right. There are people who appear to be very popular, always with the company of a bunch of friends but in actual fact they are lonely inside. However, I think that its worse to be lonely with no one around you to just converse with even though they are not close, than having friends around you, who even though they aren't close, still have someone to talk about random stuff about. Though its hard living with a sister like mine who goes out every day of the weekend, and when she doesn't go out she's always talking on the phone day in day out. I feel like there's this envy inside of me. But enough digression from me, good analysis though I don't think loneliness is the norm.

 

[Gambino (joke)]

Hello,
I agree with the guest above that everyone must feel lonely sometimes, simply because we all seem to have the capacity for it, but what I think is interesting about this question is whether lonely persons, as those posting, generally, on this forum, have the same attributes as those who aren't lonely, and just don't have the capacity to appreciate it.
I'm not saying that everyone's got the same things, or the same circumstances, but in a few other threads, people talk about finding how to "love" themselves and how finding this helped them out a little, and while it may be a bit cliche'd, might it be accurate? Because if people who generally aren't lonely have the same things and friends and relationships people who are have, then might the issue not be just how the lonely person deals with the world around him/her/it/goat/other weird noun?
This may not have been the best-worded response, but it's an issue I've been thinking about for the past few days, and if anyone has any thoughts, cheers.

 

[rokher1]

I have wondered about this for a long time....

You know those people that you see who always look like they're surrounded by people and have tons of friends and are always having a good time, do you think that they too are really lonely and just hiding it very well, like many of us on this forum do? I have spoken to some friends of mine who seem to always be the life and soul of the party and they have told me that they too are very insecure and lonely alot of the time.

I wonder if maybe the truth is that just about everyone out there is lonely and some people just hide it better than others...or maybe some people just can't face up to it while others (like us on this forum) are much more acutely aware of it.

That raises another question for me...if everybody is lonely, is that just the nature of the human condition? Are we all born to be lonely? And if that's the case, then doesn't being lonely actually mean being the norm?

Lot to think about on the topic of lonliness.....

 

[Guest]

I think being lonely maybe is all just a perception issue.  I mean loneliness is all about feeling like theres something or someone missing in our lives.  It's a feeling of incompleteness...like some piece is missing from the puzzle.  It doesn't matter how much friends or people are in your life-whether it's ten or a hundred.  I think the people who don't feel lonely aren't necessarily the ones who have tons of friends.  There are probably people who don't feel lonely even if they don't have anybody in their lives.

It could be that having friends or people in life is irrelevant to the whole loneliness issue.  I think that those who see completeness in their lives aren't lonely and those who perceive something's missing feel lonely.

 

[lonelygirl]

I think part of being lonely is missing the support of a tribe. Most people these days arent' that close to their families and extended families. I don't know about you guys, but I've always dreamt of having a circle of friends, perhaps 5 or 6 intelligent, witty, artistic, and sensitive people to be friends with. I've only had one good friend in my entire adult life and she moved away!

 

[keeper]

I've always dreamt of having a circle of friends, perhaps 5 or 6 intelligent, witty, artistic, and sensitive people to be friends with.

Lonelygirl, that's my dream too! Unfortunately it never came reality: I've been many times able to gather up 5 or 6 friends but only 1 or 2 at most matched those features. Anyway I was happy with those 1 or 2 ppl.

 

[Guest]

Maybe... but seriously that's probably just self-inflicted.

Real loneliness is when you have no options!!!

 

[angeLLblueshadow]

i've learn that usually the people that seem like they are happy and have tons of friends are actually really lonely, but not all of them, i liked when you said

I wonder if maybe the truth is that just about everyone out there is lonely and some people just hide it better than others...or maybe some people just can't face up to it while others (like us on this forum) are much more acutely aware of it.

we really are awareof our loneliness and admit it, but not all people are lonely, at least in my oppinion not lonely people are those who have close friends or have found true love...they aren't either alone or lonely....
but i can understand why you think that all the persons are lonely...