Does anybody else get this

[SimonT]

I don't know if this is anxiety, depression or just low self-esteem, but, when I'm looking at job vacancies online, I get this really weird feeling when I look at certain job vacancies, it's like a real overwhelming/angry feeling of 'I can't do that'. That's the best way I can describe it. Doesn't help that the vast majority of jobs, I either a) are not qualified for, or b) don't really know what they are, and there's no-one to ask. I try to visualise me doing the job and just can't. It feels like it's too much for me, or that I just wouldn't be good at it. It's frustrating. Finding work and love are the 2 most crucial factors to having a happy life really, and the 2 I struggle with the most. I need a job, and pronto, and just feel worthless and hopeless as soon as I look online. It's a minefield isn't it.
I feel underskilled, unmotivated, empty and worthless thinking I may never be able to get a job or be a successful person. Sick to death of always been skint, and having no money to buy anything to make myself feel good, and being in debt cause of it. Not to mention the lack of success in finding work has on your confidence, and how boring it is, and I think the way people view you, especially women. They see you as not a great catch as you're going nowhere, and being on the dole isn't attractive, unless they are, and typically, I'm not attracted to, or want a girl in the same situation as me, which sounds hypocritical, but that's the truth.
Also, the stigma of 'Dole Dosser', that gets flung about so readily these days is quite insulting, when they know nothing about your situation or mental health. I've spent most of my adult life on the dole and I'm 38, but I did have a drug problem for 12yrs.
I now attend college 3 days a week by the way too doing music. I would have definitely gone under had it not been for college.
I do tend to be, or feel a bit crap at things as well, if that has any bearing on it. When I do things, things that take a fairly knowledgable amount of skill to do, I do tend to be crap at them. Like, now this may sound silly, making my bed, I'm even crap at this, and it always looks like a 5yo's done it. If my dad or any member of my family came round and did it, it'd look like a nurse or someone in the army had made it. I've even resorted to You Tubing it lol!
I sometimes think I may have aspergers syndrome or something. Ironing's another thing that aggrevates me and winds me up that I'm crap at. It should be simple, you shouldn't have to be shown or taught how to iron surely. Is this the cause of my low self esteem, because I ACTUALLY am useless? or is feeling useless just a part of depression? Do I have some lesarning difficulty when it comes to certain procedures, mainly my hands and DIY type stuff. I left an electricians apprentiship when I was 17 (after 4months) due to feel like the elctricians shadow and crap at it. Would have been a great career that, and feel I threw away something that could've made me someone. Everyone in my family always works and is successful and I feel I can't go to social gatherings now, as it's just embarrassing telling them I still haven't got a job and I'm still going nowhere in life.
As for job hunting, the jobcentre do naff all to help you be honest. I went back on the sick (anxiety and depression), coz I got sick of them being on my case all the time. It was relentless. I wouldn't mind if they helped you in some way, but they don't. All's they want is you off the dole and don't care how or why. Anyway, Does anyone else get this feeling or know what it is?

Skills I am good at - Moaning and whinging / feeling depressed / being lazy lol!
And playing rhythm guitar / cooking / singing and typing on computers (as I've used a QWERTY keyboard since I was 7 and got a ZX Spectrum computer).

 

[Triple Bogey]

I don't know if this is anxiety, depression or just low self-esteem, but, when I'm looking at job vacancies online, I get this really weird feeling when I look at certain job vacancies, it's like a real overwhelming/angry feeling of 'I can't do that'. That's the best way I can describe it. Doesn't help that the vast majority of jobs, I either a) are not qualified for, or b) don't really know what they are, and there's no-one to ask. I try to visualise me doing the job and just can't. It feels like it's too much for me, or that I just wouldn't be good at it. It's frustrating. Finding work and love are the 2 most crucial factors to having a happy life really, and the 2 I struggle with the most. I need a job, and pronto, and just feel worthless and hopeless as soon as I look online. It's a minefield isn't it.
I feel underskilled, unmotivated, empty and worthless thinking I may never be able to get a job or be a successful person. Sick to death of always been skint, and having no money to buy anything to make myself feel good, and being in debt cause of it. Not to mention the lack of success in finding work has on your confidence, and how boring it is, and I think the way people view you, especially women. They see you as not a great catch as you're going nowhere, and being on the dole isn't attractive, unless they are, and typically, I'm not attracted to, or want a girl in the same situation as me, which sounds hypocritical, but that's the truth.
Also, the stigma of 'Dole Dosser', that gets flung about so readily these days is quite insulting, when they know nothing about your situation or mental health. I've spent most of my adult life on the dole and I'm 38, but I did have a drug problem for 12yrs.
I now attend college 3 days a week by the way too doing music. I would have definitely gone under had it not been for college.
I do tend to be, or feel a bit crap at things as well, if that has any bearing on it. When I do things, things that take a fairly knowledgable amount of skill to do, I do tend to be crap at them. Like, now this may sound silly, making my bed, I'm even crap at this, and it always looks like a 5yo's done it. If my dad or any member of my family came round and did it, it'd look like a nurse or someone in the army had made it. I've even resorted to You Tubing it lol!
I sometimes think I may have aspergers syndrome or something. Ironing's another thing that aggrevates me and winds me up that I'm crap at. It should be simple, you shouldn't have to be shown or taught how to iron surely. Is this the cause of my low self esteem, because I ACTUALLY am useless? or is feeling useless just a part of depression? Do I have some lesarning difficulty when it comes to certain procedures, mainly my hands and DIY type stuff. I left an electricians apprentiship when I was 17 (after 4months) due to feel like the elctricians shadow and crap at it. Would have been a great career that, and feel I threw away something that could've made me someone. Everyone in my family always works and is successful and I feel I can't go to social gatherings now, as it's just embarrassing telling them I still haven't got a job and I'm still going nowhere in life.
As for job hunting, the jobcentre do naff all to help you be honest. I went back on the sick (anxiety and depression), coz I got sick of them being on my case all the time. It was relentless. I wouldn't mind if they helped you in some way, but they don't. All's they want is you off the dole and don't care how or why. Anyway, Does anyone else get this feeling or know what it is?

Skills I am good at - Moaning and whinging / feeling depressed / being lazy lol!
And playing rhythm guitar / cooking / singing and typing on computers (as I've used a QWERTY keyboard since I was 7 and got a ZX Spectrum computer).

Regarding the fear of not been able to do a job - Yes I went thru that. I left school at 18. I was quiet and shy. I couldn't get an interview let alone a job for months. I wanted to work with computers. I worried that I wouldn't be able to talk to other colleagues or talk on the phone. Or simply get thru the day.

I did get a job 4 years later and it involved using the phone. I was terrible at the job and hated it. The other staff were miserable gits.

Anyway 3 three years after that I got offered a job in a small shop working nights. It seemed beneath me and I worried whether I could serve customers. So I started and it was a big struggle, I wasn't used to talking to people, they couldn't understand the way I spoke, people took the piss out of me, I got bullied by gangs of kids. Everything you can think of happened. I got punched in the face. That was the low point of my life to be honest. I took home £50 which was £10 more than my dole money. I got crushes on women and asked them out and they all said 'no' or laughed at me.

Anyway that shop closed and 2 years later I got the job where I am now. And I have got better at it, talking to customers and colleagues. Now it is easy. I feel calm and confident talking to anybody. Life is better, I have money and interests. Sounds like your in hole and you need to get out. Retail is a good job because if the staff are all miserable then you have the customers to talk to. Maybe you could look at that ? And it learns you to talk to people.

Good Luck

 

[R2349]

I do tend to be, or feel a bit crap at things as well, if that has any bearing on it. When I do things, things that take a fairly knowledgable amount of skill to do, I do tend to be crap at them. Like, now this may sound silly, making my bed, I'm even crap at this, and it always looks like a 5yo's done it.

Sounds like you're a bit of a perfectionist, which can be paralyzing at times.

 

[Outcast]

When I started my first big job (where I'm currently working) I was so nervous I felt like I was gonna throw up, because I felt the same way as you 'I cant do this'. But I just tried hard and learned as fast as I could, even though I felt like I was bugging the honeysuckle out of the more experienced workers I did what I had to do to learn and keep up, and everything worked itself out. I think some of it is just being brave enough to step up and try. Maybe its not as hard as it seems.

The job market is tough right now, you're not alone when it comes to having a tough time finding a job so don't beat yourself up. Just keep your eyes open and eventually you will find something.

 

[Batman55]

I understand this, almost completely. It's like things that should be easy are either hard, or you forget how to do them as soon as you learn, etc etc.

So some people don't agree with this, but hear me out. I believe having labels for deficits most people don't have (and therefore don't understand) can be useful. You could have ADD, it could be Asperger, or something along those lines. Both disorders are believed to be problems with development, so that those afflicted tend to feel delayed in life, in more ways than one. To me your history of drug addiction is a strong suggestion for ADD, as the rate is much higher among ADD folks than it is for the general population.

It's worth thinking about.. you might learn more about your problems along the way, and find ways to cope with them.

 

[SimonT]

Yeah, when I was at high school, my attention was very bad. I never hardly did any of my work, and used to just lark around, and act the oilcan as my dad would say lol! Used to get very over, dunno how to describe it, s'pose excited, but dunno if that's necessarily the right word, used to laugh a lot, to the point I almost wet myself on several occasions and would have to dash to the toilet. Strange. Used to find things hilariously funny when I was 15. I was always a bit agitated/anxious, and a slow developer which didn't help. Don't think I finished puberty till I was 17 and left school at 5'6, I am 5'8 now. Think this affected my confidence. Always wanted to be 6'. I always felt weedy and little and embarrassed in the changing rooms in P.E. Everything's ok now though, nothing wrong. All's I'd say is I don't grow much stubble. I only need shave 3 times a week, which I know, people say, wow, you're lucky, but it sometimes makes you feel unmanly. The lucky thing about it, is I look very young for my age. Probably 10yrs younger than I am. I used to hate it obviously. I couldn't get served without I.D for alcohol till I was 27/28. I think I'm gonna be 40/41 before I look in my 30's. Anyway, back to the ADHD/ADD though, I attend college now, and one of my tutors asked jokingly, have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD lol! he says my attention is poor, which it is, and I find it hard to focus and concentrate quite often. I have been diagnosed as having anxiety and depression and just put it down to that.

---

I think I should become a magician, cause I'm an enigma lol! I think that I probably just fall into the bracket of not being anything specific, and just having a few traits that together don't make you either this or that, just a lost cause. I'm just sick of not having any kind of proper life now. I want to be in a long term relationship mainly, and have someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me, cause they see something in me that's worth something, and it makes you feel special and like lifes worth something.

 

[Peaches]

it sounds like you have many tracts of the late bloomer, you had years full of obstacles (you mentioned drugs) that affected your personal evolution, and you say that you are attending college - I understand that you need a job *now* but it sounds like you are committed to building a better future for yourself, something that you didn't do in your younger years, so most probably only good things will happen from now on. And the fact that you look so much younger, maybe it's the universe's way give you back some years of youth

 

[SimonT]

Thanks Peaches. Hopefully 'the best is yet to come'.

 

[Peaches]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2436 yesterday I saw this, I think it is true but I like it because I am a nerd, of course

 

[SimonT]

Probably true that. I wouldn't call myself a nerd though. I'm just a mess lol!