Does anyone else feel this way?

[AnonymousMe]

Here’s a little background first: At the beginning of the year, I had the ever-common idea and goal of starting to lose weight, but I did not wanted to subscribe to any fitness program or gym. Besides them being expensive, they are really not my type of environment. I’ve gone before to a gym and always felt this impulse of overdoing things; to do better than my best and look like if I was on par with everyone working out. However, I realized that I was just overdoing things and, without noticing, embarrassing myself right in front of everyone. Anyway, I did not wanted to experience that again, so I started to save for a treadmill. It was perfect! I had a big, open space in my house, nobody in the entire world would watch me, I would go on my own pace and I would certainly not be embarrassed of passing gas XD

It took me a while, but I finally bought it the week before this one and it works wonders! =D I was running and running and running, getting accustomed to my new diet and, surprisingly did not wasted that much electricity. =) With that strong beginning though, just last week, I took off my clothes, looked myself in the mirror and realized that there was really no point in doing this. When I was watching my own reflection, I really wasn’t looking at my own body, which is quite chubby by the way, I was looking at the person I was. At that moment, I reminded myself that I was 110% sure I would end up dying alone (Don’t ask why people, I just know it’s a fact).
I asked myself, why was I trying to lose weight? It’s not like if I was going to eventually try to impress someone anyway. Also, if I’m going to have a lonely death, I’d rather have a heart-attack than dying of old age; that’s at least one benefit from death, isn’t it? It stops all sorts of pains and, now that I think about it, nuisances like me; the black sheep =')

So after re-noticing that enlightening truth, I was back to the way I was. My treadmill’s been collecting dust since last week; I’ve gone back to eat very little to none and, overall, don’t care about many things anymore; I don’t even brush my teeth. I’ll just try to enjoy my unlimited freedom…

WELP! So that’s all I had to say, but I still want to know if anyone else feels this way. You guys and gals don’t have to limit yourselves only to work-outs. Is there something that puts you back to the ground and makes you realize your own worth? Lemme know! =D

 

[TheRealCallie]

My brother in law had a heart attack at 34 and died. No, I don't feel the same way you do, because I've seen what it can do to people, how much pain it causes people (myself included).
You SHOULD strive to be healthy. Whether that is running on a treadmill, going to a gym or eating healthy food.

You should also strive to get rid of the negativity. Just because you feel this way now, does NOT mean you will always feel this way. It does NOT mean you will always be lonely. If you don't like your life being lonely, do something to try to remedy that. Go meet new people, get to know them. Join groups or meetups that center around an activity you enjoy. Don't base your future on how you feel right now, because feelings change.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I reminded myself that I was 110% sure I would end up dying alone (Don’t ask why people, I just know it’s a fact).

How can anyone ever be so sure what happens in their lives in this world? I used to think the same.. but I'm in a totally different situation now from that and I never expected it. That made me realise now matter how sure you feel about how life is going to turn out, there will ALWAYS be unpredictable moments.

I asked myself, why was I trying to lose weight? It’s not like if I was going to eventually try to impress someone anyway.

Why can't it just be for your own good? Don't you think you owe it to your own body and self to treat yourself good and well and take care of it? If you don't, nothing or no one else will. I don't depend on other people to take care of me or my needs. Because I know I will be disappointed. So it's really up to me. So why can't you do things for your own benefit? Why does it have to be for someone or something else? Maybe this can come, but only after you can truly be happy with your own life and self first.

Also, if I’m going to have a lonely death, I’d rather have a heart-attack than dying of old age; that’s at least one benefit from death, isn’t it? It stops all sorts of pains and, now that I think about it, nuisances like me; the black sheep =')

I can only imagine how painful having a heart attack can be. I have difficulty breathing a lot of times, there are times it gets so hard to breathe I feel like I'm actually dying, with chest pains and all. It's not a nice feeling at all. (As we speak, I am already having the onset of this stupid breathless issues. It's so bloody annoying.)
If anything, dying a lonely death feels a lot easier than a painful one, in my opinion. Also, I don't think you should wish for things like this. You are better than that, come on.

WELP! So that’s all I had to say, but I still want to know if anyone else feels this way. You guys and gals don’t have to limit yourselves only to work-outs. Is there something that puts you back to the ground and makes you realize your own worth? Lemme know! =D

There was a point of time I felt really low in life and felt like there was nothing that can be done to save me or make me feel better in life. Either I make it through that phase, or not at all. I didn't think that anything else could happen. But you know I was really depressed to the point where suicide seemed like such a peaceful place to go to. There were a few attempts at it, but I don't know, somehow, there was always this inner voice in my head telling me to just quit being such a wuss and fight life like a person should. Then I think, umm, it's not really my battle, is it. Why do I have to suffer so much, what have I ever done, why can't I just have things go good for once?

Then something just made me realise that if I want to feel good and have a good life, the only person who can steer it in such a way, is ME. There will factors in life that will hinder that, speed it up or slow it down but I'm the driver in my life. If I wanna have fun, I have to find fun things to do. If I feel bored, I have to do something that will entertain me. If I feel sluggish and fat, then I have to eat healthier and work out (which truly helped a lot). If all else fails, I lose the will and motivation to continue, I try to stop that sort of thinking and go to sleep or watch something funny.

I don't know how else to do this, maybe other people here may have better solutions and ways to realise that you're worthy of something. What did I do? I do something that benefits other people. Like I talk to friends and help them when they're down, I bake cakes and desserts they want and see how happy they get when I give it to them. I come on this forum a lot to help some people who just wants someone to talk to or advice or suggestions. It gives me a little bit of a purpose to live in a way, but if I don't have this forum, I know I can find something else to do to help others. There are so many other ways to help other people. That makes me feel good too. And worthy. But it's something I like doing and am passionate about. You have to find something that would do the same for you, I guess.

That can be a stepping stone, until you can actually realise that you are worthy, with or without these things anyway. It has to come within yourself, for it to be genuine, I feel. (If you know what I'm trying to say here.)

Either way, I hope that you will feel better soon. Try to relax, take a step back, and do something nice for yourself. Just .. it doesn't have to be working out, it can just be an ice cream treat or a movie. Just for yourself. Not for anyone else. Feel good about being alive. You can do so so so many things. Good luck.

 

[Nicolelt]

It's a vicious circle really. You feel bad because you didn't exercise and get lazy and unhealthy.

But you just gotta go. Do it for a solid week, and push yourself. What will happen is that your body will like it. You will get those good endorphins going in your body and you will feel better. When I start getting depressed I do this, and it seriously makes me better. Even if you don't care about you health for your body. Do it for your mind.

 

[Rosewood]

I have lost a little over 100 lbs. I did it by changing a little at a time. I feel good. At first I went to a gym. I had one at college. Then I had a room mate who added me to his plan. Later I moved to the mountain and I hike. I have some weights for upper body. I did go through lazy periods. but I just kept coming back. It has to be habit and lifestyle. I do what i like and what works for me.

I also had to change what I eat. I love dairy so yogurt and lowfat milk are a must. i no no longer want burgers. Desserts on special occasions are okay as I know I can hike of the weight. I eat more beans and rice. less meats. I love fresh fruits and this makes up for sweets. I didn't change all at once. I also have week moments, but now i notice how crappy i feel when I eat wrong.

No one can do it for you and it has to be a lifestyle. I don't want to be skinny. i just like to feel good and look good for me. As far as meeting someone that will have to be a guy who wants more than my pretty face. He needs to fit my lifestyle to. couch potatoes McDonald fans aren't for me.

 

[AnonymousMe]

Lady Forsaken,

No, with unpredictable moments or not, I know I’ll die alone.
I really don’t need any other evidence, I myself am the proof: As a person, I have so many flaws that I might as well be awarded a gold medal for it.

You know why I mainly decided to lose weight at the beginning of this year?

All my cousins and brothers are doing what they can to settle their lives, and some have already settled. They’re earning or already have their roofs, wheels, paychecks and p***ies, while I’m still getting fed by my parents, in my freaking mid 20s and just so you know, I did try my best to earn a degree in College. I earned my A’s and B’s without any problems in all my classes, but one, just ONE f***ing class ruined my hard work and it’s one that’s mandatory to even earn your lowest degree.

Then my whole family learns about this and starts seeing me as some sort of cancer. Do you know how it feels like to be ignored by your own family? Do you know how it feels like to disappoint the people that supported you throughout your whole life? Who had great expectations from you?

I really didn’t have any friends growing up; my family was all I had. I just wanted to get some of them back, by having an attractive physique and who knows; maybe I could have earned a reputation in the family as the jock. Still, it bodies don’t change personalities, that’s what I realized in the mirror: toned or not, I still would have been ignored. I still would have not received calls, or invites or hang-outs about anything; black sheep and party-pooper, what are the odds?

I’m just waiting to get ditched; it’ll only bring in positive results: the herd leaving behind the most hated member, the Omega, which, in turn, also hates the herd.

It’s very difficult to appreciate the little things in this situation, don’t you think? At this rate, I’d definitely rather go the hard way, with a painful and early death. Dying by natural causes would definitely be worse; I would be on my deathbed, looking back at my whole life and remember that my existence was as valuable as dust. I think even dung beetles are worth more to the world than me.

Well, in conclusion, I guess nobody else also feels this way.

Just so you know, people, I went back to the treadmill again, only because I don’t have any other thing to do/
I have so much freedom that it actually bores me. There, I mentioned a flaw I have.

 

[dawningday]

I can really relate to a lot of what you have said. It brings back a lot of dark memories for me.
I've always had a negative view on my self image, never liked how I looked physically or even what I do (the quality of my hobbies - if that makes sense)
I do agree about things that happen unexpected (romantic relationships etc)....they do happen. I think change is very difficult, and lots of hard work. For me, I became more willing once I got to the point of being sick and tired of feeling this way. I also find to work on only a few things at a time (not bite more than you can chew). And, maybe trying to focus on positive things (affirmations)......when negative thoughts and ideas come into my mind, I stop and tell myself they are untrue....chase them away.

 

[thelonegamer]

Do you want to lose weight? What's your current weight? How would you like your weight to be? Are you happy with your current weight? If not, why? Why do you feel the need to lose weight? What could possibly improve in your life by losing weight?
Write this down and answer them then pin it on the refrigerator. No need to complicate where there is nothing to complicate.
I'm slim. I weight about 50 kilos (we use kilos, not pounds ). It doesn't matte how many chocolate I eat, or burgers I take, or pizzas, I'll always have that same weight: 50kg. That's not completely true, of course, but I just ate half a chicken, about two chocolates by myself and ice cream last weekend. I still weight 50kg.
My problem? I'm too slim. I want to be fat. Not necessarily 150 pounder. I want to weight at least 70 or 80 kilos. Any tips?
Anyway, I've always seen myself when I get to be like 35, I've always seen me as an old fit man, not fat at all. Keep my body in shape, healthy, that's one of my goals

 

[AnonymousMe]

thelonegamer,
I did not understood a single thing you said, but it did made me wonder about something.

Do you think some people are born with a natural shape in their bodies?
For example: Imagine a guy that is very athletic, but his body is naturally like that and doesn't have to work-out.
Or in your case, you're naturally slim and won't change no matter how hard you try.
OR in my case, I'm naturally chubby; I've always had a chubby abdomen and it's never changed; I've always had it.

Has anyone else also thought about that?

 

[LonelySutton]

I am starting to wonder about it. A few years ago I lost 60 lbs and got down to just a bit over overweight. I was so happy with myself for about 2 months. Then I noticed a few things. I didn't feel I had any different shape than I did before, just smaller. I still had trouble with clothing because my basic shape doesn't fit what they make clothing for. I have curves. I thought men would be falling at my feet but nothing changed except for one thing... the BAD guys started hitting on me. The scary ... desperate... rapey guys. When I was larger... less guys were interested... so necessarily the bad guys were less interested. The good guys were too shy to come up but that didn't stop the jerks.

I found a lot of contradicting information on health. For instance, you think losing weight will help you but the reality... there are studies that say it is better to be a bit over weight. I found a few theories on heart disease that have nothing to do with your weight and I tend to believe them.

No matter how much I worked out my body shape didn't change. It made me think that for some people... weights just don't do much. You are born with the body you have.

Some people have a pretty easy time losing weight but for me... it is herculean feat. Just cutting back does nothing. It takes very low calories and exercise. And all of that work just didn't seem to get me much. My health actually got a little worse... so did my life. It was not the paneca I thought it was going to be. I gained back 1/2 the weight ... and I know I have to lose it again.. I suppose one reason I can't quite do it is that it seems like such an pain... for very little.

It makes me wonder if I should focus on me a bit more... and ignore the weight...

 

[dawningday]

I can relate a lot to thelonegamer. I've always been so slim....not sure what 120 pounds is in kg's. I know that a lot of my relatives are thin like me. In the past I have tried to gain weight so much....went to gym, lifted weights etc. I even tried the various protein drinks, suppliments. But I can eat anything, and not much weight gain. At the same time, I can neglect eating properly...skip meals. I eat better now, as I see how it effects my mood and thinking. Especially my self thinking and outlook on things.
I would rather be a bit over weight, but I guess it is just my body type. I really have no idea, or knowledge on this. But I think, eating healthy and exercise would be the most important. Its very hard, as I also have a very negative view of myself(think its imagined), that I'm not very good looking....even my face....a bit on the ugly side. I have no clue where I got this perception of myself but I think it adds to my shyness.

 

[Rosewood]

YIKES... your talking about weight issues and other problems.
I have been all sizes. Guys don't treat you better because your skinny. College grades can be changed. Retaking a class never stopped me from getting a BA.

I gained some weight weigh slowly and then all at once I noticed. it was thyroid. Lost a lot of my hair too. No it wasn't an easy thing to loose. It was a life style change. Shopping eating out, walking and other things I can do just to be healthy.

I had a bad relationship last time and the one before that dies. I am not meet another guy. It is hard even if I am pretty, educated and try. It is not something I can hold as personally my fault. The economy makes men want women with money, men date younger women while I get older, values are so different. and the amount of time to put in to a relationship is asking a lot for anyone.

So if your asking does any one see themselves dying alone? Yes I have that fear. Do I feel not quite good enough.. Well Yes I used to think that way. That's what upset me. I am okay and still alone. No I never want to be skinny again.

 

[AnonymousMe]

No matter how much I worked out my body shape didn't change. It made me think that for some people... weights just don't do much. You are born with the body you have.

Some people have a pretty easy time losing weight but for me... it is herculean feat.

Same here! That's another reason of why I semi-stopped running in my treadmill.

When I was in Junior High School & High School, I remember doing exercise like a maniac: running, doing aerobics, playing sports, lifting weights, etc. and, despite all that hard work, I did not felt my body any different! My chubby abdomen always stayed the same.

So, again, what was the point? If I could not do it before, what made me think I could have done it now?

---

The economy makes men want women with money, men date younger women while I get older, values are so different. and the amount of time to put in to a relationship is asking a lot for anyone.

So if your asking does any one see themselves dying alone? Yes I have that fear. Do I feel not quite good enough.. Well Yes I used to think that way. That's what upset me. I am okay and still alone. No I never want to be skinny again.

Wait a second. I know men are attracted to younger women, it's always been like that, but isn't it the other way around for women? Supposedly, what makes a men attractive to women is their size of their wallets. I really hate this, but what can I do? Nothing; it's part of a woman's nature.

By the way, no, I did not asked if people saw themselves dying alone. My main question was if there was something that reminded you about your own worth.
I know I asked it in a negative way, but it could be a positive response too.

 

[LonelySutton]

If I could not do it before, what made me think I could have done it now?

Sadly this is where I am coming down too. I got down to 150 but guess what... my cone legs were still cone legs. They STILL rubbed against each other making it so I couldn't wear a dress. It was then that I remembered in high school at 130 having issues with it. I probably have done EVER exercise known to man, gym, weights, yoga... and on and on... and I still have cone legs.

When I lost weight everything got slightly smaller but same shape. I suppose if I got to 90 lbs I wouldn't have them but I honestly do not know. I have seen illusions to the fact that you have certain places on your body that your body wants to deposit fat. And the longer that fat has been there, the more your body prefers it.

I am honestly considering surgery just to change the shape of my legs.

Personally I find that older guys or guys that are my age don't want me anymore but younger guys... wow... I am like catnip for them. Do not get.

 

[thelonegamer]

AnonymousMe,
Perhaps. It's a possibilty. I'm African descendant, you're... whatever...

 

[jjessea]

Also, if I’m going to have a lonely death, I’d rather have a heart-attack than dying of old age; that’s at least one benefit from death, isn’t it? It stops all sorts of pains and, now that I think about it, nuisances like me; the black sheep =')

I’ll just try to enjoy my unlimited freedom…

I know how you feel, not with the losing weight thing, but in other aspects of my life I have very similar feelings.

Aside from that let me just say, from a health care providers perspective, lose the weight for yourself. You have no idea how weight issues down the road can have a tremendous effect on your quality of life. It ruins your mobility. One you reach you late 40's and 50's, your bones can no longer support you, you lungs cannot provide enough oxygen to support your tissues with any vigorous activity, and your heart cannot pump effectively for anything more strenuous than a short walk. You will not have unlimited freedom, you will only have a large amount of limitations. Start to get healthy right now, but do it for yourself, and do it slowly but consistently. Go to a counselor who specializes in weight loss, join support groups. Trust me when I say lose the weight when you are healthy enough to do so. Once you get to a certain point and a certain age, it's next to impossible to recover. I've seen this happen with some people, and it is very sad.

So do not lose weight and get healthy for some one else's benefit, or to attract to someone to you, do it for yourself. Take your time with it but be consistent, try not to compare your progress with others, and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel.

To the whole dying of a heart attack thing, I've also seen people with this attitude. Heart attacks, for the most part, aren't just a keel over and die event. They are painful, and they are terrifying. You will likely call for help, we will come and help you, and you will recover. Afterwards though, you will be even further debilitated, and your quality of life will be even worse.

So start trying to lose weight. You never have to get to the point where you're thin, just healthy, and do it for your own benefit.

Good luck

 

[TheSkaFish]

Just try losing the weight as a means to conquer a problem, so you can show yourself you can solve your problems. I know several people who lost lots of weight and changed their appearances dramatically for the better, and all they did was portion control, reducing or eliminating soda from their diet, and going for daily walks or bike rides. Every little bit helps. Just walk on the treadmill if you don't want to run. Make the smallest possible change towards losing the weight, just so that you are doing something in the right direction.

 

[AnonymousMe]

thelonegamer,
I’m Latin American.

jjessea,
Are you, in some way, trying to motivate me with fear? I don’t know if you read my original post, but I did say that I was chubby. A little fat? Yeah, maybe, but I’m definitely not obese, overweight, or behemoth-like, so I really don’t think I’ll get THAT bad. Correct me if I’m wrong, but were you mainly referring to muscle mass in your post? I’m just thinking about it, because my older brother is obese and WAY more fat than me, but he’s strong as f*ck; one hit and he’ll knock me out instantly. Were you referring to that? If so, then I might have some problems in the future like you said. I really don’t have anything toned; even my arms are thinner than what most guys have.

TheSkaFish,
Well, I’m really not in a hurry to lose weight anymore, but like I said before, I’ll still walk, jog and run on the treadmill whenever the mood strikes me. It’s better than not doing anything after all.

 

[thelonegamer]

I must say, no offense, but Latin America people are too sensitive to food. You guys eat a hot dog today and suddenly gain 120lbs by next week. I, on the other hand, can eat a whole hot dog truck and even lose weight.
That means you must acknowledge the fact that bodies are different and therefore they require different care.
So, one must treat his body the best way it suits him

 

[Rainbows]

You guys eat a hot dog today and suddenly gain 120lbs by next week. I, on the other hand, can eat a whole hot dog truck and even lose weight.

U know this has nothing to do with the fact that they are latin american... right?