Does anyone here feel like a loser?

[Skid Row 89]

Can't get a job due to my social anxiety, for some reason being socially competent is the one trait that matters the most in every workplace.

I imagine this is going to be a problem for me in the future. I have no semblance of self confidence any more, if I had any to begin with.

 

[Misanthrope23]

Have you ever dealt with so much rejection, either from people, jobs, applying for jobs, relationships, family, friends, whatever, that after a while you start to convince yourself that you are just invisible and not wanted? That there must be something wrong with you? That in fact you may be cursed, because no matter how hard you try, no matter how much extra mile you go, that nobody gives a honeysuckle?

I'm tired of this cold world. I'm tired of people's apathy. I'm tired of shitty circumstances.

I used to believe so much in myself. I used to be convinced I could manifest my destiny and draw to myself the things I wanted and needed in life. The power of intention. The law of attraction. Not anymore. I just feel burned out. My entire faith has been shattered. It's hard to believe in a world where you keep trying, you keep sending out hope, but nothing ever comes back to you. It's hard to believe in a God/universe that never answers your prayers...

Any thoughts?

i'm a misanthrope for a reason. life sucks. i feel like everyone gets special treatment, have the easy life, and thus know how to cope, but with me it's just failure every single time. i'm now really starting to question God and if he really exists why would he let people suffer so much yet other people are just fine? i try my best sometimes to get ahead but i end up worse then where i left off. i think the amount of suffering doesn't merely have to be external, it can be pyschological and that could worse than just suffering from not having food and shelter because at least they know they can pin-point exactly why there suffering. with me i'm not so sure and that confusion adds to the anxiety and depression. i'm fortnate to have resources but am unable to successfully use them. so i end up being a loser after all. i graduated college yet can't find a job thanks to the smucks up top that like to gamble billions of dollars on wall street and perpetuating economic ruin, yet the the middle class has to pay for there mistakes. is there a God? really? i hope so since what is life really worth living if when we die we turn into dust, into complete nothingness? though there is still hope for me however little it may be. but i fear that window is closing and that things will go downhill from here. sorry for ranting a little bit.

---

I understand what you are going through. I tend to feel the same way most of the time. I've come to see people are very flawed creatures with large deficiencies in things such as character and integrity. I don't know what the future holds for me and I try not to ponder that. Right now I am locked into a pattern of necessity. I get up each morning because I have to. I shower, get dressed, go to work and pay my bills because I have to. I am a parent. It's amazing how life ceases to be about 'you' when you are responsible for raising another human being. At times I resent my child for being my reason to go on. Other times I want to thank her for it. Life is hard. Society is very messed up right now. Things are going to get worse. Many of us that should have friends and families and futures simply will not because of how dominated by evil and sickness our reality has become. Simple truth. Still saddens me deeply though. I don't have hope of finding "the one" because I don't believe "the one" exists. We are animals. We eat, honeysuckle, sleep, and fresia (if we are lucky). That's it. The rest is self-delusion.

Yes, indeed. The world has become a very messed up place. And for someone like me, who is very sociological by nature, and has a tendency to always want to follow world events and keep my finger on the pulse of society, it just blows my mind to see it all going down the toilet. Sure, there is alot of beauty in the world. We have given rise to art, music, mathematics, astronomy, technology, and much much creativity. There are many random acts of kindness all the time.

But I read the news. I see a society scared of its own shadow, many nations giving up their liberties for the ILLUSION of security. I've seen cultures become so paranoid that they assume you are a killer or child molester just because you smile at them. I cannot even begin to tell you how many articles I have read where people were scared to help someone else, like a man helping a lost child, because the man was afraid that he would be perceived as trying to abduct the child. Or someone is afraid to help an accident victim for fear of being sued. Well, what the fresia is that? Is this where we've come to? I don't see much of this type of behavior in the country I live in now, thank God. But it still has severe poverty and high unemployment. Evey nation has its own form of plague. And the saddest part of it all is it doesn't have to be this way. If we stepped out of this opaque society filled with lies and deceit, and grew up as a species and started living as a cooperative society, then many of these social ills would disappear overnight. We wouldn't have hopped up Prozac heads shooting kids in school, we would have excellent employment worldwide, we would be implementing safer cleaner energy sources instead of this bank-owned petroleum society, we would be eliminating all the corruption out of banking, corporations and government. We would know freedom at an entirely different level.

But no, man is a predator by nature. Feeding on the weak. Keeping each other pinned down. Look at some recent examples of human stupidity. American goveernment wanting to make a TRILLION DOLLAR COIN. Well, what the fresia is that? Just another illusion of fiat currency? They honestly think this is some kind of solution. Or this huge video game and rap music burning ceremony in Connecticut. Like blaming music and video games for violence is the answer. Doesn't anyone take personal responsibility anymore? Jesus, some 6 year old kid just got suspended for making a gun with his forefinger and thumb and going "phew phew" at another kid. Whatever happened to kids playing cowboys and Indians on the playground? This zero tolerance pandemic and caste system philosophy is consuming our souls. And then it reflects in culture. If you don't look good, or if you are poor, or if you don't drive a car, or if you have a honeysuckle job, then the culture perceives you as a loser. Many have adapted this Machiavellian attitude of "might equals right" or "the end justifies the means" and our society is collapsing before our very eyes because if it.

The whole thing is a ******* mess. God help this sorry ass society. Because if we are to survive any longer without total economic and societal collapse, we certainly need to get out house in order.

Amen brother amen!!! i don't think you need to read what i said, you undestand perfectly how i think.

 

[Cucuboth]

Can't get a job due to my social anxiety, for some reason being socially competent is the one trait that matters the most in every workplace.

After I had to quit my job in 1999, due to a breakdown largely bought on by the extreme workplace bullying, but it was also that it made me the reach the end of a very long straw. Anyway, after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and eventually feeling up to trying to find work again, I found I was always told that I didn't have enough confidence, or that I wouldn't 'suit' the workplace's social enviroment. Even after going to two employment agencies that supposedly specialised in helping people with disabilities (including mental illness) find work, they both gave up on me for the same reason (well actually, one wouldn't even take me on to their books, saying that, right from the start, I needed better confidence or they couldn't help me).

Thing is, it often gets thrown at me, especially by my family, that I should just get a job, and my confidence would improve. Well, tell that to employers.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

Have you ever dealt with so much rejection, either from people, jobs, applying for jobs, relationships, family, friends, whatever, that after a while you start to convince yourself that you are just invisible and not wanted? That there must be something wrong with you? That in fact you may be cursed, because no matter how hard you try, no matter how much extra mile you go, that nobody gives a honeysuckle?

I'm tired of this cold world. I'm tired of people's apathy. I'm tired of shitty circumstances.

I used to believe so much in myself. I used to be convinced I could manifest my destiny and draw to myself the things I wanted and needed in life. The power of intention. The law of attraction. Not anymore. I just feel burned out. My entire faith has been shattered. It's hard to believe in a world where you keep trying, you keep sending out hope, but nothing ever comes back to you. It's hard to believe in a God/universe that never answers your prayers...

Any thoughts?

I can relate to ALOT of how you feel, and beelive me I still do, I have good weeks where I feel at peace and then, it will 'come crashing down' around me.

The hardest thing with people and apathy is knowing that the bitterest pill of truth to swallow is you can't do anything about it. You cannot chane the world only in how you think. Its just not practical or realistic.

I wouldnt give up, but don't do it for the world. Do it FOR YOU. For YOUR OWN destiny. It's not selfish. It is fact that we all have our own lives and things to go through should sugest this. We can only do it for us, not for others.

Don't let their 'indifference and apathy put you off'. Do it to create a better world 'around you', the world you see 'throuh your eyes' and how you want it to be.

I work in retail and I am applying this for myself and a few people do notice and say how positive and open minded I am. The trick is is to not expect others to change around you or notice. Afterall its why we have 'free will'.

As for the 'power of intention' and 'law of attraction' I tried this myself but realised they are just thigns that work for them as long as we are individual people. There is no 'universal method' as we are all individuals and at different levels. There is a 'different method' for everyone There simply is no such thing as 'one size fits all' in personal or spiritual development

Also the fault with these methods is that they are a 'business venture' with all the books and CD's out there and the fact is they come up with 'a newly dicovered law of attraction' every five minutes and your money is feeding these people who just won't tell you that it just 'does NOT work for everyone' while they get possibly rich throuh other's expense

Personal development in any way shape or form should never have a material price tag attached to it. True guidance and good advice should never cost a 'material dollar or penny'

I hope this helps you.

Peace and Love,

Chris

 

[taocircle]

Coming from a Black-american life, HELL YEAH I HATE REJECTION!!! No, I'm not talking about Caucasians rejecting, or other cultures that exist in america. But since I refuse to lower myself to that ghetto image, I've been rejected for decades, and I am 41 years of age! Had to see my culture dwindle down to idiots at our own hands. Yes, Whites, it is no longer your fault, it is ours-lol!! The funny thing is that I was always put down for not trying to be an image, but we were a culture that spoke about having a soul. So sad to be in a culture that has so many potentials, physically, but refuse to advance ourselves mentally-like the Jewish culture did to rise up. To the young Blacks, oops forgot, African-Americans, there was a time where we all started on the block, but there was a difference between neighborhood, and coming from the hood. There really was a time when we really did like each other, compared to it being acceptable to stare each other down to judge their nature, arrogantly-which sucks when you are someone that trains close-quarters combat. FCK THIS LIFE!!!!!

 

[Lilianna]

Welcome taocircle!

 

[LoneStar1989]

I guess we all feel like that at some point. But like Tiina and Veruca said, somehow something keeps me going, even when I don't wanna get out of bed.

 

[duff]

I guess we all feel like that at some point. But like Tiina and Veruca said, somehow something keeps me going, even when I don't wanna get out of bed.

not often. In fact I am good at most things I do.

People can't see it though, they think I am a loser.

And people's opinion's are more important than mine. eg jobs, girlfriends etc.

 

[aspalas]

I feel like a "loser" sometimes. I don't give up hope though and I hope my future will be awesome.

 

[Ak5]

There will ALWAYS be someone who's smarter than you, earns more than you, has a house bigger than yours, who has more relationships than you, etc. The same can be said for the reciprocal, there will also ALWAYS be someone below you.

The trick is learning how to live with yourself and accepting who you are.

 

[perfanoff]

There will ALWAYS be someone who's smarter than you, earns more than you, has a house bigger than yours, who has more relationships than you, etc. The same can be said for the reciprocal, there will also ALWAYS be someone below you.

The trick is learning how to live with yourself and accepting who you are.

You had me until the word "below". This is a fallacy. People are not subservient or inferior to one another unless they choose to be. And if the other guy has 1 more digit on his IQ or paycheck, or one more floor on his house, or a relationship with one woman more than you (lol), it doesn't mean that HE is more than you.

 

[Ak5]

There will ALWAYS be someone who's smarter than you, earns more than you, has a house bigger than yours, who has more relationships than you, etc. The same can be said for the reciprocal, there will also ALWAYS be someone below you.

The trick is learning how to live with yourself and accepting who you are.

You had me until the word "below". This is a fallacy. People are not subservient or inferior to one another unless they choose to be. And if the other guy has 1 more digit on his IQ or paycheck, or one more floor on his house, or a relationship with one woman more than you (lol), it doesn't mean that HE is more than you.

That's what I was trying to get to. Despite the fact that that one person might have a higher IQ, a higher income, or a higher number of relationships, it shouldn't mean a lot to you as a person. However, same works for those who have a "lower" IQ, or income, or relationships than you. Everyone is different.

My friends and I were talking about this exact thing in the past. When SAT scores came out and when ACT scores came out everyone was "competing" to see who had the highest. One of my friends got a low SAT score (average score), the other a high SAT score (Ivy League). I thought about both of them, and realized that the scores meant little to nothing, they each had their own attributes that made them intelligent.

 

[LoneStar1989]

I read this somewhere and I think whoever wrote it has a point, because I find that often times we think we're losers when we compare ourselves to other seemingly happy people. Hope it helps

Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter. Their
house will be bigger. They will drive a
better car. Their children will do better
in school, their husbands will fix more
things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your
circumstances. Think about it; the
prettiest woman in the world can have
hell in her heart. The most highly
favoured woman on your job, may be
unable to have children. And the richest
woman you know, she's got the car, the
house, the clothes.... Might be lonely.
And the word says if ''I have not love, I
am nothing''
So again... Love you! Love who you are!

 

[pjole]

I have trouble expressing my thoughts, so I brought you a musical interlude:

"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins so I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
Baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
Someone keeps sayin I'm insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don't believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park

Yo, cut it.

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
Banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'Cause one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
One's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
The daytime crap of a folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string

Slap the turkey neck and it's hangin from a pigeon wing
You can't write if you can't relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax, fallin' on a termite
That's chokin on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Get crazy with the Cheeze Whiz)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Drive-by body pierce)

Yo bring it on down
Sooooooy...
(Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?)
(I'm a driver, I'm a winner; things are gonna change, I can feel it.)

Soy un perdidor

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(I can't believe you)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Sprechen sie Deutches, baby)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Know what I'm sayin?)"

Know what I mean?

 

[perfanoff]

Feel like a loser right now. Well deserved.

Why am I destroying my life? Can't I overcome this struggle? Can I actually ever fulfill the demands of life, of society...

 

[lilost]

I don't think a person can be a loser. Whatever choices we make

Life is good and bad times. (Even if you tend to notice all the bad more easily than good.)

It is up to you to fight to achieve what you want. Nothing is infeasible.

it is you who makes this false image in the head because right now you're not good, but it is not the truth!

You say you're afraid of being ridiculous, but why?, You're a loser, but why?, You destroyed your life, but why?

You're not alone, never forget it

 

[perfanoff]

When you are not alone, there are expectations, expectations for you to be someone you are not. The more people around you, the more jumping through hoops you need to do.

 

[ShadowMan2898]

Do I feel like a loser? Most times, actually. Though, that doesn't excuse it for me; better soldier on, I suppose...

Good luck to anyone else who feels the same. Have a good one...

 

[Tiina63]

I have probably answered this before, but will answer now anyway. Yes, I feel like a loser all the time. I'm single (not through choice), a dire employment record, socially awkward and very lonely.
I've tried to make a couple of friends recently, people I know socially, and both blew me off. Although I have other friends so know that I am capable of making friends, this has still knocked me back.
I get into such despair over my personality, my looks, my everything. I hate being me.

 

[RonYells]

When I was in highschool my bully psuedo-friend never missed a day to make it a point that I am a loser. It keeps him entertained. I don't know, psychopaths have weird tastes. Anyway, an over-exposure of the label made me numb of it, not in the depressing kind of numb way, but in the "this-word-has-lost-all-its-intended-meaning" way. Kinda like the word "Epic". Or "I Love You".

But yeah, I get it, that the most painful way to be called a loser is if you're the one calling yourself that. There's no counter argument to be made if you feel like you categorize yourself into all things in your world befitting the title 'loser".

However, I also like to see it as a sign. A sign of incredible intelligence. It is the gift (and curse) of self-awareness. Think about it. Do you know just how many people also fall under the category of "loser" but are not aware of it? I don't, but neither do you! So get your butts moving and live life with a dance number. Wooooo! Life!