Does anyone here feel like a loser?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I am a loser, most of the time. But that doesn't matter, most people are.

 

[Dissident]

I do feel like a loser, but not for my own lack of intellect or effort; rather, because there is a system that works against people who weren't born into power. This is where people usually say things like "wow, you're crazy" or "you should be more responsible for yourself." Thing is, I would love to believe that empowering myself and making progress was only a matter of willpower because then I could achieve whatever I want. People who really know me realize how utterly ******* stubborn I am with getting things done in the face of adversity. But at some point one has to realize that they do not have absolute control over their own lives. Until you produce your own goods, practice your own medicine, and fabricate your own shelter on your own little island away from civilization, you remain dependent on what your fellow humans do and provide.

 

[perfanoff]

^ I've got a guy in my office that loves ignoring that fact.

I was joking around to another colleague (who's been single for a cough.. long time), that if girls only found out how much he makes, they'd be all over him in a minute (Why did I say it? to esteem HIMSELF more). And that guy I'm talking about says it isn't really a high salary. Then I ask him: "do you even have an idea what the average salary is?" Then follows some pointless response..

Another time I was saying how happy I was for getting a new AC, and the guy wanted to put me down because "if you want to get an AC, buy a good one" ... "like mine, for $5000". Yet another time that I randomly scoped a really nice, new (and actually cheap?!) restaurant. I gave my birthday party in it. The food was amazing, the service was extremely friendly and professional, the wine was some nice sort from Chile. When hearing of this, this guy said "it's not that good.. it tries to be something it isn't".

It's evident this guy takes a LOT of his life for granted.. and he thinks he's all that. He doesn't realize that he already had a great start in life (in virtue by his well-off parents), no health issues, no random twists in life. No supporting his older brother's education like my friend did. Maybe he downplays other people's hardship because that makes him feel more deserving about his achievements? I don't know.

But the fact still is, out of all people I respect, it's always gonna be the African guy who's got 7? siblings, dropped out of middle school to carwash and subsistence farming, but made his way to become a master of science in physics and a teacher in an elite school. THAT shows character.. more-so than a rich Harvard kid's million dollar paycheck.

P.S. In my country, the culture we took from Capitalism (to a degree mistakenly.. it was the strongest in the 90s) is that rich people are to be respected, revered, etc. That the quality of being rich makes a person intrinsically better. One giant Jersey Shore fest? It is SO over-the-top and still practiced so widely. Makes me feel sick just turning on the tv or the radio.

 

[Jocsaint]

The only time I feel like a loser is when I tried something and didn't give it my best effort. If you go into everything, putting in all of your effort, 100% of it, then you aren't a loser. Just take the result as a learning experience.

 

[Tinderleaf]

I admit that I'm a loser on most occasions. But as I've come to take life as a learning experience, I don't mind it all that much as when there's a will, there's a way to get out of the stage.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

^ I've got a guy in my office that loves ignoring that fact.

I was joking around to another colleague (who's been single for a cough.. long time), that if girls only found out how much he makes, they'd be all over him in a minute (Why did I say it? to esteem HIMSELF more). And that guy I'm talking about says it isn't really a high salary. Then I ask him: "do you even have an idea what the average salary is?" Then follows some pointless response..

Another time I was saying how happy I was for getting a new AC, and the guy wanted to put me down because "if you want to get an AC, buy a good one" ... "like mine, for $5000". Yet another time that I randomly scoped a really nice, new (and actually cheap?!) restaurant. I gave my birthday party in it. The food was amazing, the service was extremely friendly and professional, the wine was some nice sort from Chile. When hearing of this, this guy said "it's not that good.. it tries to be something it isn't".

It's evident this guy takes a LOT of his life for granted.. and he thinks he's all that. He doesn't realize that he already had a great start in life (in virtue by his well-off parents), no health issues, no random twists in life. No supporting his older brother's education like my friend did. Maybe he downplays other people's hardship because that makes him feel more deserving about his achievements? I don't know.

But the fact still is, out of all people I respect, it's always gonna be the African guy who's got 7? siblings, dropped out of middle school to carwash and subsistence farming, but made his way to become a master of science in physics and a teacher in an elite school. THAT shows character.. more-so than a rich Harvard kid's million dollar paycheck.

P.S. In my country, the culture we took from Capitalism (to a degree mistakenly.. it was the strongest in the 90s) is that rich people are to be respected, revered, etc. That the quality of being rich makes a person intrinsically better. One giant Jersey Shore fest? It is SO over-the-top and still practiced so widely. Makes me feel sick just turning on the tv or the radio.

Very true.

I have a friend who works a minimum wage job, but has had filthy rich parents his whole life. His father works in the music industry and is worth millions. He's met everyone from Britney Spears, to other people in the music industry. Celebrities his whole life.

Am I jealous of him? Not really. He's kind of a snob. He calls me from parties he goes to, and then when I invite him out to concerts, he makes an excuse. He lives at home with his parents, even though he's almost 30, has never lived on his own, and owns an expensive stereo system, Apple products, and etc.

I have another friend who's about 7 years older. He's been on his own since he was 20, he owns his own business, he has a girlfriend (who he's very committed to), he cares about his family, he does music on the side, he's into sports, and is generally a very interesting guy. He also reads science books for fun, and had a degree in neuroscience.

Guess who I admire and respect more? It's certainly not the first dude.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Today Im a loser. Tomorrow I will be ******* AMAZING.

*shrug*

 

[ladyforsaken]

Today Im a loser. Tomorrow I will be ******* AMAZING.

*shrug*

Hell yeah.

 

[xninjaguyx]

I'm a loser...
I might be a loser for the rest of my life, no matter how much confidence I pretend to have.

 

[petrovchanka]

Oh yeah i do and i have almost given up. I am tired of trying, tired of waiting and everything. I want God to take me back...that's all!!!

It sounds like you've attracted people on this thread who support your feelings and who have gone through the same thing/s. You are NOT alone.

It is hard to stay hopeful and optomistic when the universe doesn't give you what you're wanting. Yes, it IS tiring...and seemingly random. I know for a fact that the people who I perceive as having it "all" (or at the very least, the same things I'd like to have in my life) didn't tune into a certain wavelength in the universe in order for great things to manifest. They just didn't. Are their brains wired different than ours? Maybe. Are they channeling good things without trying as hard? Perhaps.

The only thing I can tell you is that you have to start living your life for yourself with NO apologies. TRUST in yourself and keep it moving (with or without the company of others) Maybe some of us are just better at being alone...stronger...and more independent. ?

 

[Evil_Genius]

I work in Law, a lot of people are Alpha males, all looking for the chance to put the others down about ANYTHING. I used to, then decided I would much rather be exceptional where I need to be good and then let everyone else have their niches.

I am very good at what I do, I know it inside and out and can wrap it around any which way. Just because someone else is better then me in the field they've specialized in or the hobby they practice religiously doesn't make me feel bad. I actually don't mind losing, as long as I've acquitted myself to the best of my ability.

 

[SophiaGrace]

*raises her hand*

 

[Evil_Genius]

Then stop that now!!!! No one is a loser we all have bad patches. My longest was about 4 years.

 

[Ignis]

Then stop that now!!!! No one is a loser we all have bad patches. My longest was about 4 years.

This man speaks the truth.
Everyone has their rough patches but NO ONE is ever a loser. That's a construct that we as humans have made for ourselves to put one another down. Just another way to inflict harm on another, and harm on ourselves.

You wake up in the morning, are you a loser? No. There are people out there that haven't. They might have woken up in the afternoon and missed the day, they might not have woken up at all. You've SUCCEEDED in doing something. Yes, it's something small; yes it's something that the human body NEEDS to do after resting. But you did it.

You get out of bed? That sounds like a win to me. Ever been lying in bed on a freezing cold day and never wanted to get out, but did anyway? fresia it, you won. There are people out there who didn't. They stayed in bed that day.

Decided to stay in bed that day? You won again. The people who got out of bed won't get as much sleep or be as comfortable as you... Probably.

You eat breakfast in the morning? You've won. I know I don't eat breakfast every morning, and I sure as hell regret it if I don't.
Don't eat breakfast in the morning? Still a win. There are times I've made it to work on time BECAUSE I didn't eat breakfast, saved me getting in trouble and was a small price to pay.

I could go on and on, but the point.. Is that EVERYTHING you do is a win in some way. Even if they're the smallest things in the world, people out there haven't done it. You've all succeeded at a thousand things every day. None of you are losers in my books.

 

[msbxa]

I agree with that post by Ignis!

According to society's standards, I am a loser, period.
How do I feel about myself: I just feel like a human being. No more, no less.

It seems to me that people my whole life have often expected very little from me. It seems they get a low impression of me. But I feel that I have much more potential then they realize, and when I actually try at something, people are surprised. But most of the time I don't care to try.

 

[Evil_Genius]

I like Ignis' find the silver lining mentality.... It was that which helped me through my Grandfather funeral and Eulogy. Yes I'll miss him more then I can express, but only because he was such an incredible positive impact on my life, even if he was a stubborn old mule.

 

[petrovchanka]

Yep. The constant rejection, in everything, no matter what I try, just drains away all energy. It's all failure. And I've lost count of the number of times I've been called a loser.

Cucuboth, have you ever challenged those who call you such a vile thing? I mean, REALLY? What kind of lame animal calls another human being a "loser"?

While this is not right by any stretch of the imagination, I have found that when I get that same kind of verbal abused slung my way, I dish that sh*t right back. I feel better/empowered if for just a moment...and it DEFINITELY gets the recipient thinking...sometimes, it's so effective, the abuse never happens again. ? Have you?

 

[Naleena]

Bump

 

[Reverie]

In life everyone loses something in some profound way, enough to be considered a loser. I know I've had.
Life is a hard ***** like that, what can you do?
So, fresia it...

At least, I win at something. :3

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yes, this is pretty much how I feel every day. I am thankful I went to college without too much trouble, but I have a degree in something I don't like - Business Administration. The very thought of spending the rest of my life being a corporate world nothing makes me want to just lay down on the floor and quit life. But I can't go back to school anymore, no money, no time. I'm stuck.

I have no idea what I'm going to do to make money. I can't content myself with a poor lifestyle, because I hate it. I hate having to pinch pennies. It's not enjoyable at all. But, I have no expertise. I'm not good at anything because I never got good at anything. For a while I believed that I was doomed from the start because I was born without natural talent, but now I believe that I'm not good at anything because I didn't put the time in. Unfortunately, I need to start making money now. I don't have time to get an expertise that others have worked on since they were kids.

Ever since I was in school I've disliked having to give other people my whole day, doing what they want me to do all day long, being asked to jump and say how high. I hate being in a servile role, it disgusts me, I feel like it stunts my growth, it tells me how far I'll go and no further. I don't want to spend the rest of my life kissing up to other people. I want to feel like my life is truly mine. But I have absolutely no idea what to go into business doing, since I have no expertise. I want to be a SOMETHING, but I have no idea how to get there.

In fact, I don't even know what kind of job I could get that I am qualified for, which both pays well and that I could tolerate. I don't want to spend the rest of my life bored out of my mind doing the same thing day in and day out until I'm a just a worn-down husk of a person that never became anything, never made any memories, never lived. But I feel like I've already wasted too much time to change course.

Then, like I said on that other thread. I can't get any girl that I like to like me back, no matter what. It just doesn't work - I just don't work. Meanwhile other guys have no trouble with the girls I like and man is it gut-wrenching. Some of them are really scuzzy people who don't deserve anything, yet there they are with the girl I want for no work at all and I'm alone. I guess I should settle for someone "nice" in other words, ordinary. But I don't want that.

I don't know what it is. People tell me to be positive, I try to be positive and I am thankful for the good in my life. But I want more. I need to be able to get more simply to be able to move out of my parents' house. But idk. I feel like I'm just not smart enough or gifted enough to do better than this. I wish I was the kind of person who could get where they wanted to go, not just another person that just gets whatever they're going to get and no more.

Sometimes I try to remember that locus of control thing, and I say to myself, nothing is ever going to get better until I make it better. A successful, interesting, exciting, memorable life isn't just going to fall out of the stars and into my lap. I try to remember all of the different stories I've heard about successful people in all walks of life talking about "WHEN we make it..." and not "IF...", saying this even before they had fame or money and how this has happened more than once, it can't just be coincidental. There's got to be a way for me to take control. I just wish the fog would lift.