Does being lonely make you feel old?

[Lost Drifter]

Simple question, does being lonely make you feel old? And by old I mean elderly.

I’m sat home alone thinking about what I should be doing at my age according to media and society. I should be out at dinner parties with some childhood friends or co-workers, I should have a wife and possibly be expecting our second child, I should belong to a little neighbourhood group or at least some sort of activity club and have a gang of male friends who I get together with when I want to escape from said wife. That’s what the media and society would have me believe anyway. It also seems to be what a lot of my peers are doing.

Instead I’m sat home alone talking to myself and playing music just to break the dead silence. I wake alone, I eat alone, I relax alone and I sleep alone. I don’t have friends or co-workers to go out with, a wife and child are certainly out of the question and the problem with escaping is having nothing to bring me back. Excuse the self-pity for a second but I feel like a lonely old man just waiting for the end and that life is over without it having begun.

I know I shouldn’t listen to what the media and society says but sometimes I feel like I have missed out on far too much and the hole is too deep to climb out of.

 

[Chasm]

simple answr>>
it can make u feel old if u LET it
take u 4 xample?
still VERY young
no reason u couldnt have all these thngs u mention
IF u want them
wife n child certainly out of the question?
y?
a lot of males get married @ ur age n evn sumwut oldr
i undrstand ur rel8ng ur life st8/activities/environmnt?
2 that of an elderly man?
but LoL
ur NOT an elderly man
thats the point
n as such the young man u r?
u still have many many opportunities 2 live a young man's life
IF u want 2

 

[kamya]

Hmm. Other people tell me that I should be living my life differently at my age but I don't physically feel any older than normal.

 

[Sci-Fi]

No, not at all. I do much the same thing as you Drifter. After work I go home, eat alone, go to sleep alone, watch tv alone, the only "social interaction" I have is in my online game and YIM with my brother. I don't feel old though, not one bit. My hobbies keep me feeling young I guess, I'm not ready to grow up even at my age. I probably never will. Not like I go out in public or even come on here acting like a 5 year old, I have the maturity to conduct myself as what seems fit. Being alone hasn't made me feel older over the years though, it's given me more freedom to enjoy my immature side.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Yep. Though it may be my mindset that also makes me feel old.

According to society/the media being a teen or a twenty year old means you go on insane parties, snog loads of people and have sex all the time, have a crazy intense social life and get all your "good times memories".

Apparently you go travelling a lot, just generally really enjoy yourself.

Apparently. I've done none of that stuff at all and I don't even have the inclination to do most of it. Relatives keep asking me whether I've been partying like a maniac and stuff and my reply is always "Erm...no. Not really." I've even started lying a bit, saying my social life is good to them, because they don't seem to understand that I don't go out getting drunk and stuff.

So I guess I'm just weird and "older than my years"

I still fear however that time is passing me by and I'll look back in 30 years and think "Why didn't I actually have fun?"

 

[Bones]

Yes - It is to the point where I feel like that I am to old to even have a relationship ever again and why bother to even have one.

 

[roguewave]

Nope, it doesn't make me feel old. Society doesn't hold the right to tell me how I should be/act/feel as a 20-something, even though it tries.

Being lonely can make me feel somewhat naive though. Probably because I don't have a lot of conversations or watch the news everyday so sometimes it's like "omg, what happened?"

 

[Feldgrau]

I can relate. It does make me feel old at times. I feel like I'm spent, past my prime, washed up, etc. and that life's cruel circumstances have resigned me to my little dark corner, figuratively and literally. So I know where you are coming from.

 

[Nolife Princess]

Simple question, does being lonely make you feel old? And by old I mean elderly.

I’m sat home alone thinking about what I should be doing at my age according to media and society. I should be out at dinner parties with some childhood friends or co-workers, I should have a wife and possibly be expecting our second child, I should belong to a little neighbourhood group or at least some sort of activity club and have a gang of male friends who I get together with when I want to escape from said wife. That’s what the media and society would have me believe anyway. It also seems to be what a lot of my peers are doing.

Instead I’m sat home alone talking to myself and playing music just to break the dead silence. I wake alone, I eat alone, I relax alone and I sleep alone. I don’t have friends or co-workers to go out with, a wife and child are certainly out of the question and the problem with escaping is having nothing to bring me back. Excuse the self-pity for a second but I feel like a lonely old man just waiting for the end and that life is over without it having begun.

I know I shouldn’t listen to what the media and society says but sometimes I feel like I have missed out on far too much and the hole is too deep to climb out of.

Being lonely does not make me feel old. however it does just that, make me feel lonely.
The solution? there is no quick fix, or magic pill. and not everyone handles it the same way. but for me what I do is get busy, find something to get into- otherwise I will sit, feel sad, cry, and feel hopeless, it is not a good feeling, and I refuse to let it overcome me.

Yes I have been in very low places in my life, but through life's experiences I have come to realize life is short, you are only here for a moment in time. not even promised tomorrow. so I try to make each day count. and while it is not always easy... I keep in mind, live for the moment... and do it with a smile. (or in my case, laughter = I laugh my head off all the time)

***Laughter is medicine for the soul***

 

[HappyYogi]

Solitary Man,

Please don't feel bad about who you are.

I am in my 40's. I've always been kind of a gentle introverted type (although I've become much more extroverted now). When I was in my 20's I felt that HORRIBLE pressure to "party". I never was attracted to it but not knowing anything else that would give me pleasure or I would enjoy, I succombed to it.

It's OK to not want to do those things. It's OK to be different in this way. What I remember is so many young people getting drunk, acting stupid. Not fun to me. I think later on in life you will see what it is very OK, alchohol is NOT good for us (it's a toxin) and there is so many other ways to enjoy life that are healthier and more fulfilling.

Stay strong. It's OK to be the way you are.

Yep. Though it may be my mindset that also makes me feel old.

According to society/the media being a teen or a twenty year old means you go on insane parties, snog loads of people and have sex all the time, have a crazy intense social life and get all your "good times memories".

Apparently you go travelling a lot, just generally really enjoy yourself.

Apparently. I've done none of that stuff at all and I don't even have the inclination to do most of it. Relatives keep asking me whether I've been partying like a maniac and stuff and my reply is always "Erm...no. Not really." I've even started lying a bit, saying my social life is good to them, because they don't seem to understand that I don't go out getting drunk and stuff.

So I guess I'm just weird and "older than my years"

I still fear however that time is passing me by and I'll look back in 30 years and think "Why didn't I actually have fun?"

---

Interesting question Lost Drifter

Hmmmm does it make me feel old?

I would say yes and no.

Yes in that there are times, because of my loneliness, I've been caught in a "rut" which sometimes feels less exciting and less fun. OR because I may not have someone to talk to, I express myself less, and laugh less and share less...and yes, I think that could make one feel less young because you experience less joy and fun in your life. That is true.

But in other ways it keeps me younger. Because I am more separated from the world, I don't have to drink (which keeps me yougner). I don't engage or get caught up in as much negative thinking which keeps me younger. I am also a free spirit to a certain degree and that keeps me younger.

Hard to say...

Yes and no.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I can relate. It does make me feel old at times. I feel like I'm spent, past my prime, washed up, etc. and that life's cruel circumstances have resigned me to my little dark corner, figuratively and literally. So I know where you are coming from.

Thank you for explaining what I was trying (and failing) to do; it’s not so much that I want to follow the exact expectations of society but rather the lack of anything at all makes me feel washed up and wasted. It’s like somehow I’m just not getting the life game, like I’m always stood on the sidelines watching others play but never getting a go of playing myself.

 

[Okiedokes]

Yes it is easy to think/feel that way when it seems like most people my age party and aren't tied down by much. I used to feel this way but I really think it's a mindset thing, and when I did some things I did as a kid/teen I started to feel myself again.

 

[shells]

I feel old and I even look old and worn in person, really. My last therapist compared my facial features to that of a soldier who had just returned from war. lol, I've even gone as far as to use anti-aging products in the past to get rid of that "void/numb/hollow" expression on my face. Didn't work.

I don't know. Maybe my facial expressions just started showing how I feel on the inside and they are permanently that way. I know this post seems self-absorbed and even ... What's the word. Shallow, maybe?

It just sucks being twenty and being asked if you have kids (happened just yesterday) or getting confused for a thirty year old, among other things.

 

[roguewave]

I feel old and I even look old and worn in person, really. My last therapist compared my facial features to that of a soldier who had just returned from war. lol, I've even gone as far as to use anti-aging products in the past to get rid of that "void/numb/hollow" expression on my face. Didn't work.

I don't know. Maybe my facial expressions just started showing how I feel on the inside and they are permanently that way. I know this post seems self-absorbed and even ... What's the word. Shallow, maybe?

It just sucks being twenty and being asked if you have kids (happened just yesterday) or getting confused for a thirty year old, among other things.

Omg are you serious Shells? I saw your pic on the faces thread and I would have never thought you were close to 30. No way.
I also feel a bit gaunt though. The indents under my cheekbones are really noticeable and it looks hollow there.

 

[mana]

It does not make me feel old, but it makes me feel worthless..

 

[roguewave]

It does not make me feel old, but it makes me feel worthless..

But you have value as a human being, regardless of whether or not there are currently people in your life. Your self worth shouldn't be dependent on others.

 

[mana]

@roguewave

true. we are all human beings. still, that's what my brain tells me. our brain can be our worst enemy. for example last week I smoked a cigaret on a high roof top, it was about 5-6 meters high. I stared at the concrete ground and felt an attraction to jump and finish it all. of course I did not jump! basically I am not suicidle at all, but still I could understand how people do this act.

I just hope for better things to happen in the future to ease this loneliness situation

 

[roguewave]

I hope things get better for you too, mana.

 

[jjam]

Loneliness is when boredom kicks in and you don't have a specific solution to alleviating it. As usual, you'll find an alternative to rid yourself of the boredom. But at the TIME that boredom crosses you and the TOP solution is to be with someone, that is when the feeling of loneliness kicks.

So, no. Loneliness doesn't make me feel old. Loneliness makes me feel like I wish I had someone to do something with at the time when I have nothing else occupying my mind at the moment.

 

[mana]

@roguewave

thanks. I hope for you too as well as for everyone here

@jjam

there is a point in your saying. however boredom is not the cause of loneliness but one of it's symptoms..