Tealeaf said:
Wintermute said:
Perhaps you should stop trying so hard (which is not to say stop trying at all) and just be receptive to the possibility of change.
Also if you don't set a clear goal to your actions (which would otherwise be demotivating should you fail) it might be easier to find something positive to take from you efforts after the fact.
I took up hiking last year via a meetup group in an attempt to meet people (and in a way I did, in that I don't feel apprehensive being around other people, though I can't say I've made any close friends). Instead I find that now I have a new hobby that adds some exercise to my life which is something to feel good about even though I haven't had a major breakthrough in interacting with people socially.
I have several hobbies and social outlets already.
I spent the entire weekend by myself. Didn't do anything, basically played videogames all day. Besides two 1 hour cessions of exercise every morning and one visit to the grocery store. Spoke with my mother in the morning and at night, talked about everything and nothing.
Then I called my oldest daughter, had a very long philosophical talk on something I'd seen (we like to do that lol. Events have also caused us to become quite close, enough that we feel comfortable talking about what's not).
...that doesn't seem like much social interaction. For me, it's enough. Hell, sometimes, it's too much.
And I'm fine with that.
You have to determine exactly what you want and at what level you want it, before proceding to change things in that direction. Sure, you want change, that's all well and good, but you need as specific goal to achieve or else, like you're feeling right now, you'll feel it was all for nothing.
Now, as you stated, "Like I can put in all the effort I want finding places to hang out, improving my conversational skills, etc, but I can just as easily wind up with nothing as something (and I wind up with a whole lot more nothing)."
Good.
What is your end goal? What would you consider as "something"? A number of X amount of friends? What is it you picture in your mind as an acceptable situation that would not lead you to reflect as to it being nothing?