Doesn't it piss you off, seriously...

[Lynth]

I keep coming back to this post and reading it over and over trying to figure out my problem.

Do people just find another person to be with because they feel it's hopeless to rekindle their relationship with their first love?

Or do they pursue someone else because they just want to be happy and any attempt to mend their old relationship is too much work?

For fresia sakes, I hate that as I get older I feel that I don't have a choice on how to be happy and not have these episodes of depression. I feel like the only way is to just give in to my desires to be with someone and that will fix so many of my problems.

What the fresia am I supposed to do?? I don't want to be with anyone!

fresia everything...FREE WILL DOES NOT EXIST! fresia MY LIFE!

 

[stalinorgel]

You sound EXACTLY like how how I thought not up until too long ago. (Literally, right down to the conflicted nature of your thoughts.)

I learned two things:

1) Women are human beings. They're petty, malicious, and selfish. They ain't nothin' special. Of course, the FEELING they can give you is special..even just by talking to you, or by touching your hand.. They're built to be desirable creatures, and they are, but not in the ways we think they are.


2) I appreciate the small things in life..I still have my pot, William Blake, and the Hammerklavier sonata.. Learn to enjoy the small things in life.

Learn to appreciate the permanent not the impermanent.

Being a 25-year-old virgin sucks, yeah, but it could be worse. I could be an AIDS patient in Africa, dying in a disease-ridden clinic, or in India washing the same clothes in water I use for defection. In short, look at the big picture.

Doesn't it piss you off? The feeling inside that makes you feel empty and depressed sometimes all because you don't have a special someone?

I mean why? Why do I feel like honeysuckle sometimes because I've never had a girlfriend?? I hate the fact that I desire a relationship when I don't want one. I hate that I frequently think that I would be much better off mentally if I had a girlfriend.

I hate waking up in the middle of the night depressed and angry because I desire someone sleeping next to me yet I tell myself "fresia THAT" because I don't understand why I feel this way. Why can't I just be content with my independence?

I'm so conflicted to the point sometimes that I really don't give a honeysuckle about anything. I don't know what I want, why I want, or if I truly want...

...

I have goals and dreams in life but I feel that since I'm frequently in the state of mind that I just don't care, then I can't work towards my goals.

I lack confidence because I don't have a girlfriend and I don't have a girlfriend because I lack confidence....and I keep telling myself I don't want a girlfriend even though I frequently desire one.

...

 

[Lynth]

You sound EXACTLY like how how I thought not up until too long ago. (Literally, right down to the conflicted nature of your thoughts.)

I learned two things:

1) Women are human beings. They're petty, malicious, and selfish. They ain't nothin' special. Of course, the FEELING they can give you is special..even just by talking to you, or by touching your hand.. They're built to be desirable creatures, and they are, but not in the ways we think they are.

Really? Exactly? What made you change your thoughts?

 

[Lynth]

In trying to keep this thread alive, I see it for it really is now: ******* STUPID!

I think I'm lying to myself and there's some other problem with me.

I look at some of the feelings and thoughts I've wrote in this post and I can't help but think "How can someone respond to this?"

Have you ever read a post on a forum that sort of makes sense yet you don't know where to start when it comes to replying and have no desire to even think about where to start? That's how I feel about this post. I think people think this post is non-sensical and I agree with them.

Why do I do this to myself? I really hate myself right now since I'm getting nowhere with this post.

When I fall asleep tonight I hope I never wake up.

 

[Poueff]

We don't like "independency" or being alone because that's not in our nature. Human nature makes it so we find a life/sexual partner and reproduce,that's basic

It doesn't make you worse for not having one yet or not "following what's natural" cause it's a given that someday you'll find someone. That's logic speaking,not me

 

[Darkness]

In trying to keep this thread alive, I see it for it really is now: ******* STUPID!

I think I'm lying to myself and there's some other problem with me.

I look at some of the feelings and thoughts I've wrote in this post and I can't help but think "How can someone respond to this?"

Have you ever read a post on a forum that sort of makes sense yet you don't know where to start when it comes to replying and have no desire to even think about where to start? That's how I feel about this post. I think people think this post is non-sensical and I agree with them.

Why do I do this to myself? I really hate myself right now since I'm getting nowhere with this post.

When I fall asleep tonight I hope I never wake up.

Lynth I feel the same way you do about this whole thread. I have the Positive Drill Sergeant in one ear and the Loner in the other telling me to give up and then I got the guy in the middle who doesn't give a crap.

I so want to have a relationship, but then again part of me doesn't give crap if I never find one. I'm tired of asking all the questions. I'm tired of being at war with myself, and over thinking.

Hell I want to keep going on, but I also don't really care on typing anymore. I guess the longer your alone the more you just don't care...

 

[Lynth]

Lynth I feel the same way you do about this whole thread. I have the Positive Drill Sergeant in one ear and the Loner in the other telling me to give up and then I got the guy in the middle who doesn't give a crap.

I so want to have a relationship, but then again part of me doesn't give crap if I never find one. I'm tired of asking all the questions. I'm tired of being at war with myself, and over thinking.

Hell I want to keep going on, but I also don't really care on typing anymore. I guess the longer your alone the more you just don't care...

I know. I feel like there are those who accept their desires and those who don't...for whatever reason. It seems to me that those who don't accept their desires for a romantic relationship are bound to just one day say "fresia it" and just give in and later regret it and become so numb with anger over the years that they usually just don't care about regretting things.

I say that because I'm already starting to feel this way. I'm considering asking out someone even though I still tell myself that I truly don't want to yet I feel like I should. It's come to the point in my life that some things that make me angry and ashamed of myself I end up repeating because I just don't ******* care. Looking up porn happens to be one of them. I don't know why it made me angry in the past but it makes me angry that I don't care anymore yet I feel numb when I'm angry sometimes because I just don't care since I'm so used to being angry with myself.

I want to love someone and not just do it because most people did and are happy.

Here's what I think I truly want:

I want to pursue a romantic relationship with no fear of being rejected and no regrets, anger or shame for looking at a girl lustfully. If I do get rejected or I break up with someone, I don't want to feel shame or guilt for going for someone else. All of this seems impossible to me.

Basically I want to stop hating myself for the desires I have and I don't know where to start.

It seems there's no comfortable way for me to take the first step in changing my attitude and so I feel forever locked in a battle with myself.

I feel like I'll die before I ever kiss a girl.

 

[oh_boy]

I think I understand this topic well. I know that I don't need my love now cause I'm not ready. Cause my life is screwed now. But I still have to fight my desires. That makes me upset sometimes. It seems unfair. And there are some who tell me that I need a girl. Then I feel humiliated.

Yes, those cravings want to fill all my thoughts.

Seriously, if my life was better and I decided not to have a relationship because I fail at finding someone with close interests, I'd finally give up. Some time would be wasted but this wish would calm down for sure. And I would feel more focused.

---

And yeah, I mean of course any true relationship isn't a waste of time at all. But when it's with someone who doesn't suit you very well it still can be disappointing sometimes.

 

[Syber Tiger]

i have never had a gf aswell and it makes me depro to
but its tru who need them they just take your time and money when they get the stuff they want they just move on the the next one

i know not all are like that but still

and sex ya everyone wants it idk why it last a few min and then...

and btw i got no condedents and have verry low self-asteem all my life

i am working on it

i am talking more than i have had about 6months ago
there is a girl in my enjeneering class i talk to but not mutch i guess everybit helps

good luck
Lynth

 

[Poueff]

Well,this is depressing,but a simple suggestion. If you're not underage,get out of your computer and go to a bar look for a girl,simple,uh?

 

[Lynth]

I don't know what I'm doing!

Lately I've found myself looking up articles on women, dating and relationship tips, sex tips, etc. more frequently.

I feel like an idiot doing so since I feel like it doesn't matter how much advice I get, I'm still not going to get with a girl because I keep telling myself I don't want to be with anyone.

I'm not ashamed of my looks or body image at all, I just want to be content being alone! Why is that so hard???

People keep telling me things like:
"Don't fight it"
"Give it a chance"
"The sooner you start practicing, the better things will get"
"Stop making such a big deal about it"
"Quit denying yourself happiness"

I feel like a loser who is in love with their misery and sorrow that prefers to be lovesick their whole life for some messed up reason.

I'm too ashamed to go after girls because I feel it's just not me. Like it's not who I am.

Anyway, that is all. I don't know why I keep writing honeysuckle down here. Just another depressing thought I had this week.

fresia my life! I just keep making things worse...