Dumped someone and paying the price for it

[DrFlashman]

I'm 31, and live in the midwest U.S. I ended a relationship about 2.5 months ago. I was the one who left, and I was okay with it for a few weeks, but now I'm really regretting it and feeling depressed/lonely.

Weird thing is, I'm not usually a "lonely" person, even when I am alone. I have a job, I have some friends, and I have outside interests. I've always kind of prided myself on being self-sustaining: "Hey, I'm tough, I don't 'need' anyone." But now...not so sure about that.

I've made a few feeble attempts to contact my ex, but she hasn't really responded. I feel like she has probably moved on quicker than I have, and that makes me even sadder. I've thought about writing her a letter and laying everything out on the table...but then again, what if she has moved on and she's happy about it? Then I would just be making her feel weird.

 

[I'm Fine]

It's normal to grieve after the end of a relationship, even if you're the one that ended it. But you have to ask yourself this - Why did you end things in the first place? There must have been a reason. As sad and lonely as you feel now, that reason probably still exists. If you can remember that, maybe you'll feel a little better.

Plus, it would be cruel (to both of you) to try and get back together with her if you're only doing it because you're feeling lonely - and not because whatever it was that was the problem is now, somehow, no longer a problem. Does that make sense?

Good luck.

 

[DrFlashman]

That makes a lot of sense, actually. thank you.

 

[dorky76]

Yea, there was a reason you ended it with her. If you go back, those reasons still exist.

 

[I'm Fine]

That makes a lot of sense, actually. thank you.

You're welcome.