Dying of loneliness

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You look great for your age.
Owning The Mind, is a key factor to troubleshooting loneliness.
We're not just born with that ability, it's a developmental skillset that comes from the practice of critical thinking exercises over a factor of time.
Car or motorcycle breaks, can't afford a mechanic, you've gotta fix it yourself. It's just another one of those types of things, just it's not a physical thing in front of you.

I asked an entrepreneur once about his vacation to go camping for a week.
He told me that he goes camping to reset himself, that off the path and into nature proper it puts the brain into instinct mode. Sharpening instincts is organically therapeutic. He told me he'd go hunting and fishing for this reason, as well as for the campfire and setting up the campsite, and so on.

I understand that now, having intentionally challenged my poor sense of direction like a reckless idiot in my 20s by driving out to the woods and walking in one continual direction for the period of about an hour off path, forcing myself to find my way back to the main path and eventually to my car before sunset. Don't get lost in the woods! But maybe get out there some.

I know another guy who did some SCA stuff for a while until he got into his early 70s and retired, which is basically renaissance fairs but with reenactments and properly traditionally made weaponry and armor, sometimes they have taverns, etc.

The idea is to try to drum up enough cognitive engagement so that your emotional spectrum and cognitive spectrum switch roles and the cognitive gradually takes the forefront. Can be anything from camping and ren. fairs, to crafting, writing, exercising, or reading. Something that's engaging enough to demand the forefront of attention. Hell, even handyman/hardware skill developments and practices can help. Do you need an additional chair or table? Maybe not. But could you build one anyway, sand & gloss, and weather treat it? Yeah. And if you don't have anywhere to put it, you can put it online for sale for at least the difference for the wood and non-tool materials.

As for marriage management, errmm, ya got me.
I've never been married, so I don't really speak on peoples marriages unless I'm directly asked to and have known both of the people for quite some time so that I can understand where the miscommunications are.

Loneliness partially comes from when the mind wanders too much when it isn't trained better.
Naturally, the mind wanders to negative things that have a tendency to make us feel bad.
In Psych that's called The Default Mode (weird name, but yeah, that's a technical term).
You can't totally turn that off, but you can use cognitive engagement to gradually focus less on the lingering feelings of loneliness.

Psilocybin mushrooms have also been medicinally administered for therapeutically helping assess The Default Mode.
I don't recommend it, but I don't condemn it, either because it does help some people.

Have you tried pets for company?
Something that helped me cope with too much solitude and isolation is that any kind of a social interaction helps some, even if it isn't the woman I want, just having anybody to be there and talk to helps.

This is a real problem for older people.
Be it in strained marriages or those in the single life, so you're not alone.
Women also experience this, it isn't just men.
If you hop on a website like Etsy, you will find an incalculable amount of handcrafted jewelry from men and women, who likely started the hobby as a form of cognitive engagement to help cope with their mental instabilities and gradually realized there's a market for crafting.
Thank you for your reply, suggestions and compliment! They are much appreciated!
If it weren't for my two dogs, I would have lost it long ago! They've been a great comfort to me!
I've done magic mushrooms in the past a time or two and am looking into micro dosing as a mental stimulant!
Simply talking to others about things is helping greatly!
Thank you!
So..no responses of counseling or communication, or any reason to post a pic. And, she's not here to share her side. Seems legit.
Several months ago I broke down crying, telling my wife that I was dying of loneliness and sadness. Told her that I was on this loneliness forum just to talk to people to keep from losing my mind.
Nothing has changed, no passion, no compassion, just more of the same day after day aloneness that I've felt for 25 years.
I don't eat...lost 80 lbs. I sleep 10 hours during the day, awake all night. Lay in my bed the rest of the day, depressed.
Wife is obtuse, doesn't seem to notice.
Would love a change in my life but have hurt enough people in my life.
I feel trapped and all alone.
Thought that maybe a clandestine affair would be the answer to my loneliness but that would come with it's own set of problems.
I don't believe in suicide or you wouldn't be reading this right now.
I don't expect any pity or miraculous answers to my problems from anyone,
just needed to write it down and get it out.
Thanks for listening!
Met a lot of older guys who are married looking for affairs, the truth is that unless they are rich and generous, got masses of free time and can meet up a lot and go on holidays and stay all night etc, most women wont want to know, a quick chat on computer and half an hour here and then when it suits him doesnt suit her. The truth is that many of them would never be able to get a woman if single let alone married. And like you say it brings problems. I was in a similar situation to you years ago, pulled out all of the stops to make sure I could end it and got rid of him a year later. Much happier after. In those days I was totally skint, I had to do four part time jobs to be able to, but it was worth it. You sound like a smart guy, I dont think you need suggestions I think you know what your options are and that yo cannot have the best of both worlds.

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