A Lonely Life Supporting MemberSupporting Member
- Sep 22, 2022
- Reaction score
- Central N.Y.
Thank you for your reply, suggestions and compliment! They are much appreciated!You look great for your age.
Owning The Mind, is a key factor to troubleshooting loneliness.
We're not just born with that ability, it's a developmental skillset that comes from the practice of critical thinking exercises over a factor of time.
Car or motorcycle breaks, can't afford a mechanic, you've gotta fix it yourself. It's just another one of those types of things, just it's not a physical thing in front of you.
I asked an entrepreneur once about his vacation to go camping for a week.
He told me that he goes camping to reset himself, that off the path and into nature proper it puts the brain into instinct mode. Sharpening instincts is organically therapeutic. He told me he'd go hunting and fishing for this reason, as well as for the campfire and setting up the campsite, and so on.
I understand that now, having intentionally challenged my poor sense of direction like a reckless idiot in my 20s by driving out to the woods and walking in one continual direction for the period of about an hour off path, forcing myself to find my way back to the main path and eventually to my car before sunset. Don't get lost in the woods! But maybe get out there some.
I know another guy who did some SCA stuff for a while until he got into his early 70s and retired, which is basically renaissance fairs but with reenactments and properly traditionally made weaponry and armor, sometimes they have taverns, etc.
The idea is to try to drum up enough cognitive engagement so that your emotional spectrum and cognitive spectrum switch roles and the cognitive gradually takes the forefront. Can be anything from camping and ren. fairs, to crafting, writing, exercising, or reading. Something that's engaging enough to demand the forefront of attention. Hell, even handyman/hardware skill developments and practices can help. Do you need an additional chair or table? Maybe not. But could you build one anyway, sand & gloss, and weather treat it? Yeah. And if you don't have anywhere to put it, you can put it online for sale for at least the difference for the wood and non-tool materials.
As for marriage management, errmm, ya got me.
I've never been married, so I don't really speak on peoples marriages unless I'm directly asked to and have known both of the people for quite some time so that I can understand where the miscommunications are.
Loneliness partially comes from when the mind wanders too much when it isn't trained better.
Naturally, the mind wanders to negative things that have a tendency to make us feel bad.
In Psych that's called The Default Mode (weird name, but yeah, that's a technical term).
You can't totally turn that off, but you can use cognitive engagement to gradually focus less on the lingering feelings of loneliness.
Psilocybin mushrooms have also been medicinally administered for therapeutically helping assess The Default Mode.
I don't recommend it, but I don't condemn it, either because it does help some people.
Have you tried pets for company?
Something that helped me cope with too much solitude and isolation is that any kind of a social interaction helps some, even if it isn't the woman I want, just having anybody to be there and talk to helps.
This is a real problem for older people.
Be it in strained marriages or those in the single life, so you're not alone.
Women also experience this, it isn't just men.
If you hop on a website like Etsy, you will find an incalculable amount of handcrafted jewelry from men and women, who likely started the hobby as a form of cognitive engagement to help cope with their mental instabilities and gradually realized there's a market for crafting.
If it weren't for my two dogs, I would have lost it long ago! They've been a great comfort to me!
I've done magic mushrooms in the past a time or two and am looking into micro dosing as a mental stimulant!
Simply talking to others about things is helping greatly!