Everyone keeps reinforcing my self hate

[ardour]

I reach out to connect with people, to become friends, thats what would help me, Im not asking anyone to "change the world" for me, I just want someone who will be there to listen, help me through my problems, and just be a friend...

You can't expect that too early in a friendship. It takes months, more often years for people to know each other well enough to freely talk about personal stuff. Most people are just friends with those they find 'fun', not necessarily because they have some supportive relationship with each other. Superficial? Maybe.
There is limited time and energy for others, and most of us already have family that rely on us for emotional support etc.
Sometimes you just have to suck it in, hold your tounge and focus on talking about something else as much as you may not feel like it. I've had to learn to accept it. People aren't going to be what you want them to be.
I only have two real friends. My mother died of cancer recently, and I rarely spoke to them about it, because when I did they just didn't know what to say.

 

[Fvantom]

I reach out to connect with people, to become friends, thats what would help me, Im not asking anyone to "change the world" for me, I just want someone who will be there to listen, help me through my problems, and just be a friend, but the second I reveal that Im not happy with my life, people try to change me. It like saying "well I could be your friend, and honestly care about you, but instead, Im just going to tell you that youre doing everything wrong and need to change"

You can't expect that too early in a friendship. It takes months, more often years to get to know people well enough to be able to freely talk about personal stuff. Most people are just friends with those they find 'fun', not necessarily because they have some meaningful supportive relationship with each other. Superficial? Maybe.
People have limited time and energy for others, they already have families that rely on them etc. Sometimes you just have to suck it in, hold your tounge and focus on talking about something else, as much as you may not feel like it. I've had to learn to accept it. People aren't going to be what you want them to be.
I only have two real friends, my mother died of cancer recently, and I rarely spoke to them about it, because when I did they just didn't know what to say.

well....thats their own **** problem. Im not going to jump through hoops and grind my way up to being someones friend, and I most certainly WILL NOT suck it up and "accept it". If someones going to act that way, theyre not worth my time.

And for the record, probably my one true friend, I only met recently, but weve been talking about personal stuff since we started talking, were pretty open with each other so it does not take months or years to be comfortable with someone.

 

[ardour]

deleted...

 

[Fvantom]

yup...you expect too much. How bad are these problems anyway - is someone you love dying? Are you completely alone? No, so why should they be expected to listen and support you to this degree -would you do the same? You've been rude to people because you don't like the flavour of their advice, which makes you look overly sensitive and self-righteous, and those sorts of people aren't at reciprocating.

I'm wary of those who are too open early on. Too often they're flakes who are the first to abandon you when things REALLY do go wrong...

um? first things first, you dont know what my problems are, so dont assume that a loved one isnt dying or that Im not completely alone.
They should listen and support me because thats what friends are for...and yes, I would do the same for my friends, and I have before, I often stay up late talking to my friends who are going through problems and have even gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to help a friend, so dont judge me based on what youve seen in this thread.

Dont question the loyalty of my friends either, because theyve been the ones that stuck by me when things really were going bad.

 

[SophiaGrace]

*noms on Fvantom's hand*

Hai. I haz your attenchuns?

Sorry you feel vulnerable.

I too hate being judged negatively.

It hurts and then i shrink back into myself.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Wyf is up with thinking people are judging you?

You talk in fucken circle...

Either your friend are there for you or they ate
Not....

If your friends were there for you...then what's
The fucken piont of this thread?

Its a total mind fresia!!!!!

 

[Fvantom]

if you think its a mindfuck then dont bother posting here

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Seriously dude....

My dad is dying of cancer.
My mom isnt doing so well.
The love of my life had gone off the deep in.
My duaghter is in disarray of everything and
sueicidal.
And this is just cuurent situations...

You dont even know the tip of the iceberg
I lived through.
I had choldren died on me.
I had lovers died on me.
And that's not even the fucken half of it.


So dont come at me with the judgemental bullshit.

---

People can listen to me ***** complain and whine
All day long about life on fucken lifes terms...

I can even go off the deep mother fucken end myself
And snappp....

At the end of the day After the rain and storm...
IT IS I THAT MUST PICK MYSELF OFF YHE FLOOR.
IT IS THAT MUST MOVE FORWARD AND CONTINUE
TO LIVE.
IT IS I THAT MUST DO ALL THE FUCKEN RETARDED
AND CORNY honeysuckle OF LOVING MYSELF.
IT IS I THAT MUST MAINTAIN MY BALANCE.
IT IS I THAT MUST STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET.

 

[Fvantom]

wtf, what judgemental bullshit? Im not judging you, I thought you were judging me earlier but I read your post wrong, I dont need you to be telling me all this stuff in a condescending way, because Im going through my own problems as well.

"You dont even know the tip of the iceberg
I lived through."

that applies to everyone, you dont understand the way I feel either, so theres no point in telling me how Im supposed to feel

 

[Lonesome Crow]

What you feel is what you feel...

What i fee is what I feel.

Plain simple facts.
It has nithing to do wheat we are entitle
To it. Right wrong or in differnt...
We feel what we feel.
Do you agree with me on this?

Do you also agree that our emotions
Comes from inside of us?