Ex's

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

Talking to ex's. Can any good come from it? I really want to know how she is getting on and would love to still be her friend. The only way of contact is through either facebook (even though she removed me from her friends) or through last.fm where she is still my friend. I don't have any dreams of us getting back together but would just like to speak to her again because I was in a really bad place the last time I saw her. I don't even remember the last time I saw her but I know I was in a bad place.

 

[Goatperson]

Just because you're no longer in a relationship, doesn't mean that you need to be complete strangers for the rest of your lives. I think that if both people want to remain friends or even just acquaintances then good luck to them. It's pretty tough when somebody who's been a major focus in your life just disappears. Of course you're curious as to how their life is going. I think it's important though to set boundaries and realise that your former lover can now be nothing more than a friend. Friends are so hard to come by, why dismiss someone who's company you used to enjoy?

 

[Okiedokes]

If she still wants to, then go for it. There are a couple problems that could arise. One you could get feelings again or two it might make a current b/f jealous. One being the more important issue.

 

[painter's radio]

Do it! Send her a little message asking how she's doing and see how it goes. If it goes well, add her on fb.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I only have one ex that I enjoy talking to. I have one ex that I HAVE to talk to (my daughter's father). Other than that, they can all go fresia off, lol.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I always say that I think it's difficult and complicated for people who used to date to remain friends after the fact, especially if it was a terrible break up. However, depending on the people, I suppose it could happen. Personally, I don't think I ever would, and I haven't remained friends with my ex. I determined he was just bad for me, and left it at that. But some people don't mind it, and I say if it's possible, go right ahead.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Well you know what I thought of this, you should be clear of your feelings and emotions and know that you can continue to heal and move on while still being friends with her, then go ahead. If you feel that going back to being friends will only hinder your process at getting better, take a break.. you can try to reconcile friendship with her later when you're feeling better.

 

[perfanoff]

I've never been able to shrug off my past with an ex, the only one who I started talking again to became my date again, and history was repeated. 3 times that one, same reason to break up every time lol.

 

[Edward W]

If you can there's no reason not to be friends with your ex's. One ex-girlfriend set me up with my next girlfriend, and I met my wife via an ex as well. So there you go. Of course if you still have strong feeling (good or bad), it may not be the best idea.

 

[Veruca]

My ex was mentally abusive and threatened to hit me several times. I was afraid half the time so no, god I hope I never see him again

I guess its alright to be friends with exes if they are good people, good friends.

 

[lusker]

Only one question to ask: would such an ongoing relationship come with 'benefits'?

Oh don't be stupid of course I'm not serious. There is far too much good sex, excellent coffee, and challenging Scrabble to be played with new and interesting members of your preferred gender to be wasting time on people you've already rejected.

Full stop.

 

[ladyforsaken]

My ex was mentally abusive and threatened to hit me several times. I was afraid half the time so no, god I hope I never see him again

Oh dear. *hugs*

 

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

I just feel that if she wanted to speak to me she would have. I often wonder if she ever thinks of me at all. What do you think I should say to her? I feel like if I message her then I appear weak or something.

 

[painter's radio]

I just feel that if she wanted to speak to me she would have. I often wonder if she ever thinks of me at all. What do you think I should say to her? I feel like if I message her then I appear weak or something.

"Hey there, just wondering how you're doing. I think about you sometimes (good thoughts, I promise!) and wondered if we could be friends again. I understand if you're not ready or don't want to, but you're an important person to me and always will be.

Hope you're having a good weekend

X"

You could also send her a smiley face.

 

[ucxb]

Hey Dear, reconciling for friendship sake is one thing trying to get back together as a couple is another. They both can be complex ordeals or a long process... Granted I do not know your situation, but if you simply want to know how she is doing I would not concern myself with coming across weak

 

[BrokenInside]

You just wana be friends with her? Even if she accepts you as a FRIEND, are you sure that you wouldnt be hurt more by seeing her with her new bf? My experience hasn't been good. I tried to remain friends with him but believe me, he made me regret it everytime.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I don't talk to most of my ex boyfriend's, mainly cause it's really weird and neither one of us knows what to say. Plus being friends with someone you used to be with just makes me end up feeling bad in the long run. That's just me though. I don't need a constant reminder in my life.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I don't talk to my ex anymore because it will hurt.

I guess it's okay if your ex is decent.

 

[kamya]

I usually don't post too much abou my personal life on ALL but figured I'd go for it.

I have one ex that I still regularly call, txt, and hangout with. We were both each other's firsts and it was four years ago that we were together. We are still really good friends and cuddle/make out/sleep together while watching movies and hanging out and stuff. It took about two years to get to the point where we were comfortable with that kind of thing without feelings getting too much in the way. Mostly we just care about each other a lot. We don't get in the way of each other's romantic pursuits and respect each other's boundaries whenever one of us is in a relationship. We both want whats best for the other person. If anything, I'd say we are closer and more open with each other now than we ever were in a relationship. Ok, the end of my story. =P

Just saying, it can happen. But you have to be mature about it and be honest with what you want. If both people aren't on the same page it is a bad idea to try to be friends with an ex.

 

[ippi]

I usually get upset if one of my ex's got a new boyfriend, not that I'm jealous, I just don't want them to be happier than how happy they were with me. I even webstalk them to see where in life they are right now from time to time, hoping they are single. Pretty evil right?