Hey!
I just want to unload some of my feelings a bit. I'm 42, well on my way to confirmed spinsterdom (yup, even got cats!) and due to long standing social problems, I've never even been on a date. At school, I was the ugly girl (to some), and in my twenties, the boring girl. In my thirties I haven't been known for anything much but I'm really still getting over all that honeysuckle from earlier. My attitude to my situation is if somebody comes along, then good, but it's not worth all the hassle oing out on the dating scene etc would be, I don't think I could do it. Mostly I don't really mind being alone. But my problem is I miss the LOVIN ACTION I've never had! Even fantasies have become destructive for me, because reality always impinges somehow. For a long time I used to fancy someone who would make eyes at me in private but turn his back on me in public. That went south when he slept with someone else in front of the whole office and started bitching about me. Even having crushes on actors etc makes me feel bad now, the slightest little thing reminds me they wouldn't speak to me if they knew me (I know they're probably not who you imagine anyway). Basically I've been through so much any thoughts of someone touching me easily turn to poison. I need to imagine someone who I would fancy, who actually wants a quiet shy chick, and who has nothing to do with anyone real, and it's REALLY HARD!
Where do you start with the perfect, totally imaginary lover?
I just want to unload some of my feelings a bit. I'm 42, well on my way to confirmed spinsterdom (yup, even got cats!) and due to long standing social problems, I've never even been on a date. At school, I was the ugly girl (to some), and in my twenties, the boring girl. In my thirties I haven't been known for anything much but I'm really still getting over all that honeysuckle from earlier. My attitude to my situation is if somebody comes along, then good, but it's not worth all the hassle oing out on the dating scene etc would be, I don't think I could do it. Mostly I don't really mind being alone. But my problem is I miss the LOVIN ACTION I've never had! Even fantasies have become destructive for me, because reality always impinges somehow. For a long time I used to fancy someone who would make eyes at me in private but turn his back on me in public. That went south when he slept with someone else in front of the whole office and started bitching about me. Even having crushes on actors etc makes me feel bad now, the slightest little thing reminds me they wouldn't speak to me if they knew me (I know they're probably not who you imagine anyway). Basically I've been through so much any thoughts of someone touching me easily turn to poison. I need to imagine someone who I would fancy, who actually wants a quiet shy chick, and who has nothing to do with anyone real, and it's REALLY HARD!
Where do you start with the perfect, totally imaginary lover?
