fed up with life

[Tiger lily]

I feel so fed up of life, i have no plan, with no plan years can go by with no progress, its already been this way for quite sometime. I just find life pointless when you have no connections with others no true friends, nothing to do with your time. I have a full time job which bores me even though it is something I studied at uni for, I go to college in the evening for things of interest and i play sports a couple of times a week but i feel like im going through the motions with no real pleasure. `I'm not depressed I just don't have a meaningful connection with anyone, in the past ive found these relationships when ive been happy but I cant get happy anymore.

Any advise I really do want to get out of this situation. I feel I've tryed so much stuff already.

 

[A new life]

I feel so fed up of life, i have no plan, with no plan years can go by with no progress, its already been this way for quite sometime. I just find life pointless when you have no connections with others no true friends, nothing to do with your time. I have a full time job which bores me even though it is something I studied at uni for, I go to college in the evening for things of interest and i play sports a couple of times a week but i feel like im going through the motions with no real pleasure. `I'm not depressed I just don't have a meaningful connection with anyone, in the past ive found these relationships when ive been happy but I cant get happy anymore.

Any advise I really do want to get out of this situation. I feel I've tryed so much stuff already.

I haven't accomplished it myself,
but I've heard and read so many times that
if you find something you absolutely love to do (vocation)
then everything else in your life just seems to fall into place.

If a path has heart,
it doesn't make you work to like it--Carlos Casteneda

When you live in the bliss,
no obstacle is insurmountable.
If you miss the bliss, no compensation is adequate---Joseph Campbell

 

[Tiger lily]

I feel so fed up of life, i have no plan, with no plan years can go by with no progress, its already been this way for quite sometime. I just find life pointless when you have no connections with others no true friends, nothing to do with your time. I have a full time job which bores me even though it is something I studied at uni for, I go to college in the evening for things of interest and i play sports a couple of times a week but i feel like im going through the motions with no real pleasure. `I'm not depressed I just don't have a meaningful connection with anyone, in the past ive found these relationships when ive been happy but I cant get happy anymore.

Any advise I really do want to get out of this situation. I feel I've tryed so much stuff already.

I haven't accomplished it myself,
but I've heard and read so many times that
if you find something you absolutely love to do (vocation)
then everything else in your life just seems to fall into place.

If a path has heart,
it doesn't make you work to like it--Carlos Casteneda

When you live in the bliss,
no obstacle is insurmountable.
If you miss the bliss, no compensation is adequate---Joseph Campbell

I have many interests which you could say I get enjoyment out off, but I don't love anything enough to make me feel happy all the time, like if I was to do it for a job. Does such a thing really exist for everyone?

 

[Darkness]

I feel so fed up of life, i have no plan, with no plan years can go by with no progress, its already been this way for quite sometime. I just find life pointless when you have no connections with others no true friends, nothing to do with your time. I have a full time job which bores me even though it is something I studied at uni for, I go to college in the evening for things of interest and i play sports a couple of times a week but i feel like im going through the motions with no real pleasure. `I'm not depressed I just don't have a meaningful connection with anyone, in the past ive found these relationships when ive been happy but I cant get happy anymore.

Any advise I really do want to get out of this situation. I feel I've tryed so much stuff already.

I know this all to well. I have gone to college and graduated, now I have a full time job. Yet it all bores me, because I don't have a plan. I wish I could tell you some helpful advice but I can't. If it makes you feel any better your not alone!

 

[oh_boy]

Tiger Lily, I don't understand quite well what you call "meaningful connections". I think majority of ppl have just their job, family and stuff and that's plain boring. Not for them! They don't know anything about these meaningful connections, but just do their routine and are happy. Oh they're so modest I would say.

Maybe you have too many interests? Cause if so, perhaps you didn't have time to concentrate only on specific interest and share long-term intense connection with smb to make it meaningful. I can't believe you don't like anything to plunge deeper into.

 

[Tiger lily]

Tiger Lily, I don't understand quite well what you call "meaningful connections". I think majority of ppl have just their job, family and stuff and that's plain boring. Not for them! They don't know anything about these meaningful connections, but just do their routine and are happy. Oh they're so modest I would say.

Maybe you have too many interests? Cause if so, perhaps you didn't have time to concentrate only on specific interest and share long-term intense connection with smb to make it meaningful. I can't believe you don't like anything to plunge deeper into.

What I mean by a meaningful connection is basically just a close friend. If you have no close friends or a partner I'm sure most people would feel lonely. You read loads about how you must pursue your passion in order to create meaning in your life before seeking a partner if you do the reverse you will be co-dependant on that relationship and put too much emphasis on the emotional attachment early on. You need to find meaning this is true of everyone.

I have interets such as photography and art but its all solitary stuff, there are meet ups/groups but only in the big cities, not round here. So i made many effort with clubs groups in general but its all seems like just to meet someone i need to create meaning myself somehow.

 

[Stephanie]

All our lives we're taught what the 'normal' life we're supposed to want/crave and we're brought up with that as an end 'goal' and we're never taught that there could be something else.

Then, we achieve that life we're supposed to want, the 'normal' life and we feel a little self-satisfied about it for a while. Then, slowly, over time, we realize that the 'normal' life isn't how we imagined it would be after all. We get up, go to work, come home, fix dinner, maybe watch TV, spend time with the kids, etc. And deep inside, we're BORED out of our ever-loving skulls.

I could be wrong, but that's what it sounds like you're going through, Tiger lily. Friends really make the normalcy of our lives more bearable. Without that, we wonder what the point is. Sure, we might have spouses, family, etc, but without friends...it feels a little transparent and colorless sometimes, doesn't it?

I've read around this forum quite a bit in the short time I've been a member here. It seems practically everyone here desperately wants to make friends and establish a meaningful connection with another person, but I also see a lot of walls. Making friends requires a risk. You have to trust, even if it's just with one tiny part of yourself. Even if you're scared, even if you might end up getting hurt, if you're not able to crack that window just a little bit to allow someone to reach out and touch you just a little, you will never establish those connections that mean anything. For some that means cracking the seals around the windows to let the air in. For others, it means knocking down an entire wall, depending on what one has been through.

As for being bored at a job, that's pretty typical. You can love your work but not always derive joy from it on a daily basis. I love my job, but there are some days, I would just rather be doing ANYTHING else. Some days I'd rather scrub my flush than do my job. Other days, I can sit here at my desk for 14 hours and be perfectly happy working away. No one loves their job 24/7. At the same time, if you feel like you never love it, it's time to re-evaluate your options and find something else to do because all it will do is magnify your unhappiness.

Good luck, Tiger lily. I hope this helps.

 

[Kataphractos]

All our lives we're taught what the 'normal' life we're supposed to want/crave and we're brought up with that as an end 'goal' and we're never taught that there could be something else.

Then, we achieve that life we're supposed to want, the 'normal' life and we feel a little self-satisfied about it for a while. Then, slowly, over time, we realize that the 'normal' life isn't how we imagined it would be after all. We get up, go to work, come home, fix dinner, maybe watch TV, spend time with the kids, etc. And deep inside, we're BORED out of our ever-loving skulls.

Amen. Don't really have much to add to this, but amen.

I realized that 'normal life' isn't all it's cracked up to be years ago, before I even entered the working world. Working a desk job doesn't help either; having grown up on a farm, I despised the very thought of being a desk jockey, even going so far as to not take a single business-oriented class (except for one economics class required for my major), and then karma decided I needed to have a trial of suffering or something. Oh well, that's why I'm taking up drawing and writing again...and having an overactive imagination, if a little rusty, helps too.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hahaaaa...I just cuaght that..Im like..super tardy..

Yeah..its like honeysuckle happens in life
N forcing me to do what im borned to do....my ture calling. To be honest...It scars the fucken living honeysuckle out of me..

Just like the book say...the more I let my dream die..a part of me die each day as I live. I feel it in my bones..but Im so scare. Its just so much esier to just hang out. I feel it everyday.
Thats Y it dosnt even matter if I fall in love with another person or get into another reltionship... Its like another cop out ..something familar N comfoirting to me..but beneath all of that..theres that sadness I feel within me..Not being true to myself.

 

[oh_boy]

What I mean by a meaningful connection is basically just a close friend. If you have no close friends or a partner I'm sure most people would feel lonely. You read loads about how you must pursue your passion in order to create meaning in your life before seeking a partner if you do the reverse you will be co-dependant on that relationship and put too much emphasis on the emotional attachment early on. You need to find meaning this is true of everyone.

I have interets such as photography and art but its all solitary stuff, there are meet ups/groups but only in the big cities, not round here. So i made many effort with clubs groups in general but its all seems like just to meet someone i need to create meaning myself somehow.

Oh yes, photography and art are kinda solitary. I know one guy who found meaning thru photography. And while making his way to a certain level he was all alone! Now he is no more . But - I found it's lot easier to act like that if you're quite young - he started in his teens. I remember while I was a teen I was ok being alone too. But then - is it age physiology or social stigma attached to lonely people - the need of some friend arises. So now I'll rather waste some time on meaningless connections with some people for sake of getting some emotional energy - I need it. I know I cannot have any close friends now to share my life with but I wish to get by at least somehow. And again I say - I see many ppl don't have any close friends, even their families are no good. How is it possible to live like that? I don't get.

And yes it is bad to live in a small desolate place. I'm in quite small place too. Not much to do... I used to travel a bit. I failed pretty much everywhere - new place and stuff - hard for me. But I'm not sure I'm not gonna try that once more. By the use of internet maybe - firstly to get to know smb there - then move .

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I pretty mcuh had to learn the hardway from what Tiger Lilly wrote
or the women I get involved in did have thier own passion in life.
Im a lead guitarist and music is my passion N love. Music came way before
girls did. I played my guirar since i was 8...
Anywho..thats what drew women to me to begin with..my music N creativity. I loved playing in a band on stage...
Then Id get involved with women N on gose the get a job ..be a man N provide for your family. Spent time with ur partner and children. I did that...I sholved my dream of being coming a profesional musician aside..but @ the end of it all..it still blew up in my face....
My youngest duaghter is the only person really close to me at the moment that I can truely say loves me for me.
My current GF..yeah same old honeysuckle..the more I get involve with her..the more I end up playing house again..

 

[Lonesome Crow]

But everynow N then..I get this out fumkie feeling inside of me especially when Im single..especially if Ive falling in love with someone before..especlly
when she was the one..the perfect woman for me ...A big emptiness inside of me that GOD hasnt filled yet..evidently....

Cuz..Im broken..when im lonesome
N I dont feel right when ur gone away..
Youve gone away..u domt feel me anymore...

 

[Tiger lily]

But everynow N then..I get this out fumkie feeling inside of me especially when Im single..especially if Ive falling in love with someone before..especlly
when she was the one..the perfect woman for me ...A big emptiness inside of me that GOD hasnt filled yet..evidently....

Cuz..Im broken..when im lonesome
N I dont feel right when ur gone away..
Youve gone away..u domt feel me anymore...

I'm sorry to hear how your feeling lonesome crow. So many people cant be with their true loves, I hope you meet someone to replace this person.