Feeling Empty

[velvetpancake]

I don't know where to begin. Today was a horrible day. I just need to vent. I feel like all of my sad and depressed feelings have come to a boil.

I suffer from depression and social anxiety. No one knows except for my immediate family. I'm taking depression meds, but they don't seem to help much.

It is extremely difficult for me to have normal conversations with people. Because of this, I do not have any friends. I live a very lonely life. I just go to work, then come back home. It's not even my home. I still live at my mothers house.

I thought that I had actually started to have an actual friend. He is one of my coworkers. No dating, just hanging out watching movies mostly. This was happening for a few months now. We would hang out at least a couple of times a week.

Now, all of a sudden, he is making up obviously fake excuses not to hang out with me. Of course this has devastated me. I kept trying to have a positive attitude, and kept telling myself that there was at least one person out there who was willing to hang out with me.

This just confirms that I am a boring, uninteresting person. No hobbies, no stories to tell, I've never traveled anywhere...the list goes on. Oh yeah, and I'm 31 years old. Which makes it even sadder.

I think that this incident was just the final straw. I feel lost, empty, hollow. I'm just going through the motions.

Just typing this out has made me feel a tiny bit better. I apologize for writing this rambling post. It probably does not make much sense. There is much, much more going on besides this problem. Once it all builds up again, I might write out my thoughts again.

I'm scared to actually post this. But I am going to force myself to do it.

**End of vent**

 

[isthatso]

hang in there....good if you could meet some fellow travellers similar to yourself..even online for a start is better than nothing..I got social anxiety too..I tend to overanalyse every tiny interaction I have each day....crazy I know!
nice people here...hope you like it here too! :

 

[Lilianna]

I'm glad you wrote this down and posted it, it's kind of like writing something down that bothers you on a piece of paper and as you are writing it, you are letting it go. Then you take the piece of paper and burn it, if you have somewhere safe to do so, like a fireplace or something, or rip it up and throw it away, releasing all the negative feelings as you do so.

I have trouble doing these kinds of things, writing down whats troubling me...even though I know it would be good for me, I admire everyone that can do that.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[MindsArmor]

No need to apologize, your post does make a whole lot of sense.

It may seem like everyone else is living a much more eventful life, but you're not the only one who feels empty.

As someone who feels similar about his own situation, I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find a way to feel better soon.

 

[Bokkom]

I only posted my first thread a couple of minutes ago - and was pleasantly surprised with the response I got immediately!!! I think all of us (and I'm the 2nd newest us) joined for the same reason and the one reply I got was: THERE IS NOT ALOT OF JUDGEMENT GOING AROUND ON THIS SITE

..I found it reassuring and comforting - I hope you will too - and a little less lonely!!

Huggs for you!

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I posted many times in here and felt nervous as well when I posted on here. Just be yourself and write out how you feel. Trust me I was nervous as well, but I feel more comfortable opening up on here. This is a place where I can learn more about myself and meet new friends on here as well.

Just keep hanging in there and continue to express yourself.

 

[velvetpancake]

Thank you all for the nice, supportive responses to my post. It's good to know that there are people out there who actually understand what I am going through.

I'm feeling better than I was yesterday. I'm glad that I decided to post my thoughts on here.