Cooljohn
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2007
- Messages
- 784
- Reaction score
- 1
Hi. I'm sorry for not being active in a long time. My work life had taken too much of my time. I was giving my all but in the end what did I get in return, total disrespect.
Sometimes I feel as if the more I give love, kindness, respect to people, the more of the opposite happens to me. This has been going on for far too long in my life and I don't understand why. I feel as if no one seems to really like me or stands up and supports me. I feel as if no one wants to help me although I need help. However, when people want help from me I try my best. I wish that someone can help me with my needs too I don't ask for much. Just a little bit of love, acceptance and respect.
However, I see that nothing happens to hateful, spiteful, disrespectful people. They keep on getting away with it all.
An incident took place recently which has made me realise that I may have to change the way I deal with people. Apparently when one is too kind, caring and loving others think that they can treat one any way they like.
I teach science at a high school. A few weeks ago there was a Poetry Day there. I had previously asked the main teacher who organised the event if teachers can perform as well and the person said yes. Since I was told that people like my singing voice, I decided to do a song that I composed.
On the day, I performed the song on stage. I don't know what I did but the kids went wild. They were cheering on as if a professional was on stage. After my performance, many students praised me about my performance, even days after the show. I didn't hear any student saying anything bad about it. Of course, if they disliked it they won't be afraid to say so. I was the only teacher who performed. Very few of the teachers commented. As a matter of fact, days after the show I noticed many of them looking at me with blank stares or acting a little coldly with me. It didn't really bother me. Last week however, I was told by a few teachers that after my performance, I was being ridiculed loudly in the staff room by a couple of teachers. "What kind of s--t was that?" "Who allowed him to go on stage?" etc. People were laughing with them. No one stood up for me. The ones who told me said that they didn't want to tell me earier because they didn't want me to feel hurt. However, they decided to tell me eventually since it was bothering their consciences. So is that how people see me? As a joke? Both in my work and personal life? All the respect and kindness I've shown to people has now gone out the window. I don't want to do any extracurricular activities at that school anymore since I may be ridiculed again. As a teacher I thought that besides teaching a subject I had to use my God given talents to inspire the students and motivate them. Of course, that was my objective at the show. To inspire a sense of positivity and to let them know that they must tell themselves "I can." Instead of getting support by colleagues, they prefer to drag my name through the mud. I do not know what to do again in my life. All those who are negative, those who are dishonest, shallow, deceitful, unfriendly,spiteful,etc. seem to be the ones who are loved and respected. I thought that like attracts like, what you sow you will reap etc. I don't see it in my life.
I thank everyone who took the time to read my post. I feel broken hearted and I feel as if I'm at the end of my rope. In my life I wish I could connect and make friends with people who would genuinely love and understand me. Not to use me for convenience and when it's time to socialise I'm pushed aside. Maybe I have to come to accept that in life these things are beyond the reach of some people like myself.
Don't worry I'm not the suicidal type. However, if this is how my life is going to continue I do wish one day soon that God would take me back.
Sometimes I feel as if the more I give love, kindness, respect to people, the more of the opposite happens to me. This has been going on for far too long in my life and I don't understand why. I feel as if no one seems to really like me or stands up and supports me. I feel as if no one wants to help me although I need help. However, when people want help from me I try my best. I wish that someone can help me with my needs too I don't ask for much. Just a little bit of love, acceptance and respect.
However, I see that nothing happens to hateful, spiteful, disrespectful people. They keep on getting away with it all.
An incident took place recently which has made me realise that I may have to change the way I deal with people. Apparently when one is too kind, caring and loving others think that they can treat one any way they like.
I teach science at a high school. A few weeks ago there was a Poetry Day there. I had previously asked the main teacher who organised the event if teachers can perform as well and the person said yes. Since I was told that people like my singing voice, I decided to do a song that I composed.
On the day, I performed the song on stage. I don't know what I did but the kids went wild. They were cheering on as if a professional was on stage. After my performance, many students praised me about my performance, even days after the show. I didn't hear any student saying anything bad about it. Of course, if they disliked it they won't be afraid to say so. I was the only teacher who performed. Very few of the teachers commented. As a matter of fact, days after the show I noticed many of them looking at me with blank stares or acting a little coldly with me. It didn't really bother me. Last week however, I was told by a few teachers that after my performance, I was being ridiculed loudly in the staff room by a couple of teachers. "What kind of s--t was that?" "Who allowed him to go on stage?" etc. People were laughing with them. No one stood up for me. The ones who told me said that they didn't want to tell me earier because they didn't want me to feel hurt. However, they decided to tell me eventually since it was bothering their consciences. So is that how people see me? As a joke? Both in my work and personal life? All the respect and kindness I've shown to people has now gone out the window. I don't want to do any extracurricular activities at that school anymore since I may be ridiculed again. As a teacher I thought that besides teaching a subject I had to use my God given talents to inspire the students and motivate them. Of course, that was my objective at the show. To inspire a sense of positivity and to let them know that they must tell themselves "I can." Instead of getting support by colleagues, they prefer to drag my name through the mud. I do not know what to do again in my life. All those who are negative, those who are dishonest, shallow, deceitful, unfriendly,spiteful,etc. seem to be the ones who are loved and respected. I thought that like attracts like, what you sow you will reap etc. I don't see it in my life.
I thank everyone who took the time to read my post. I feel broken hearted and I feel as if I'm at the end of my rope. In my life I wish I could connect and make friends with people who would genuinely love and understand me. Not to use me for convenience and when it's time to socialise I'm pushed aside. Maybe I have to come to accept that in life these things are beyond the reach of some people like myself.
Don't worry I'm not the suicidal type. However, if this is how my life is going to continue I do wish one day soon that God would take me back.