Figured it out

[Enchanted Girl]

Remember the friend who wouldn't meet me that I was friends with online? Where we said we'd meet each other if we were ever close in person and then it happened and she made excuses about why she couldn't?

Well, she finally admitted to me . . . .

"I'm sorry. I've been depressed and that's why our friendship is failing."

How do I get her back completely and make sure our friendship doesn't fail any more?

 

[Adrolak]

Well, I would personally ask her about why she's been depressed, gently approach the topic, tell her if any way at all that I could relate to her, and then let the bond heal/grow. Remember, I've said it before, scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue, realize that strength and move on. By that I mean that you should both learn from this experience, and use it to strengthen your friendship.

 

[SophiaGrace]

To me, her telling you she's been depressed seems like an excuse. I am sorry if that sounds cold.

 

[Adrolak]

oh yeah. making sure her feelings are genuine is the most important step. I wouldn't recommend anything I suggested earlier if you're not sure it's the case, and she's not just making an excuse.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

To me, her telling you she's been depressed seems like an excuse. I am sorry if that sounds cold.

This doesn't sound cold. This is a possibility.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

To me, her telling you she's been depressed seems like an excuse. I am sorry if that sounds cold.

This doesn't sound cold. This is a possibility.

Sorry, but I do agree with Soph. If she was depressed, then wouldn't she WANT to see you? It would make her feel better to see someone she really cares about, and maybe get a good hug, or something...

 

[SophiaGrace]

I tend not to talk to people when I feel ashamed of myself or my life. I stop writing letters to my family and such to avoid being shamed, this is usually when I feel depressed.

 

[I'm Fine]

I agree with SophiaGrace, it's typical to hide yourself away when you're depressed. You figure nobody wants to see you or have anything to do with you. Why should you make them suffer your company? So it's possible she's telling the truth. The only way to know would be to talk to her more - try and find out exactly how she's feeling.

At least she's told you - that's encouraging (again, if she's telling the truth).

 

[A new life]

I too withdraw when I'm depressed.
I think it's because I'm not willing to risk rejection or indifference when I'm down.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, if it's not just an excuse, as Sophia said, just be there for her. Maybe spending a day listening to her issues. But still, honestly, depressed or not, I'd want to meet a good friend in person. That would probably make me feel better.

 

[LucieMay]

You know there could be something about herself or her life that she has lied about, and had you met, that lie would be uncovered. I don't really know what but that is my instinct upon reading this (and I did read your original thread). If she just wasn't bothered about you it's a lot of effort for her to go to keep in touch with you. Just a thought.