Finding meaning in life...?

[Adrolak]

Hey guys, I was thinking earlier, while reading "Mans Search for Meaning" By Viktor Frankl. And well, the first thing I have to say before going on is that instead of thinking of the meaning of life as a broad answer, the thing you need to realize is that it's not, it changes for every person. Frankl states that there are three ways you can find love, and I'm going to post a direct quote from the book here:

We can discover this meaning of life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. The first, by way of achievement or accomplishment, is quite obvious. The second and third need further elaboration.

The Meaning of Love

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the essence of another human being unless he loves him. by his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features of the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true...

The third way of finding a meaning in life is by suffering.

The Meaning of Suffering

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation--just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer--we are challenged to change ourselves...

But let me make it perfectly clear that in no way is suffering necessary to find meaning. I only insist that meaning is possible even in spite of suffering--provided, certainly, that the suffering is unavoidable. If it were avoidable, however, the meaningful thing to do would be to remove its cause, be it psychological, biological or political...

There are situations in which one is cut off from the opportunity to do one's work or enjoy one's life; but what can never be ruled out is the unavoidability of suffering. In accepting this challenge to suffer bravely, life has a meaning up to the last moment, and it retains this meaning literally to the end. In other words, life's meaning is an unconditional one, for it even includes the potential meaning of unavoidable suffering...

[In Auschwitz] the question that beset me was, "Has all this suffering, all this dying around us, a meaning? For, if not, then ultimately there is no meaning to survival; for a life whose meaning depends on such a happenstance--as whether one escapes or not--ultimately would not be worth living at all."

And I figured that since I have been denied the ability to find meaning in love multiple times, that I must find meaning in my suffering. I found that, considering I've had the courage and ability to come up to this point, to exhaust all options, to even reach this point - I have accomplished something, that I can find glory in the pain that's unavoidable. The fact that I cannot change my situation right now, that I'm helpless, allows me to find comfort that I'm now able to turn the pain and suffering of being lonely, into the peacefulness of being alone. This means simply put - that for the time being I am going to accept that this is the way it is, and perhaps, given the chance, someday I'll be able to find meaning in love once more. Just wanted to get this out there - feel free to comment or whatever, haha this is a thread after all.

 

[jimmymckooel]

that is so true...here I am gathering dust...

 

[AnotherMe]

I have Loved and lost many times in my life..for a long time i considered myself to be very lucky to have met various Loves in my life..I have lived in paradise, in beautiful places that most people dream about all their life or wait until retired to be able to achieve, i have had wonderful friends and lost many of them in currents of life taking people in different directions..i have 4 wonderful and successful children, i do not need to worry about them.. But i have also encountered many tragedies and experienced serious illness..I have experienced people doing me wrong out of jelousy and envy...and now i have lost my business and my b.f and true soulmate to sudden death..two of the worst and most traumatizing things that a person possible can experience in one and the same week, with the exclusion of losing your child, the only trauma that could be worse i reckon. these two events happening on the same week, soon two years ago brought me to the brink of insanity...literally. I am still crawling out of the deep dark black hole, that constantly pulls me back in with memories of irreversible occurences i have no power over and cannot go back and change..The post trauma has been so almighty in it's power around my psyche that everything beautiful that happened in my life before these events were as if wiped away from my memory and i have found NO MEANING with my life during two years. The hurt is so great and the wounds are open and bleeding still, to such extent that i cannot fathom or get a grip around the statement -to transform a personal tragedy into triumph, to turn ones predicament into a human achievement. It feels nearly as an insult reading it..it feels insulting in general when someone or something indicates that every life experience has to be turned into something positive, as if one was a LOSER in life for not being able to overcome a trauma of losing a loved one..and not JUST a loved one, but the person you MOST loved. No matter what your belifs or convictions were before such a moment, they will undoubtedly be put to the greatest test a person can ever imagine, as, when one suddenly does not see, hear, feel, touch and smell the person that is your LIFE, Death does seem like such a separator of everything that it is impossible to overcome. Faith, or BELIEVEING suddenly loses all context of plausibility..everything seems definite and finite and life has ended, it is OVER! There is no reverse mode, there is no,-waking up from this bad dream. How can one possibly turn such a feeling and termination into -triumph? Why do people feel they have a right to say -life continues..you will find someone else...the memories will fade.. It is adding fuel to the fire, simply.

Now, i do not wish to be negative in general life, i know it is perfectly possible to recuperate from sad and bad things that happen and when something like a job is lost, or other life events take place that does not include death, yes, triumph is obviously possible..a new direction can be taken and a new page in life started. Still, sometimes so deeply traumatizing things can happen that it is unreasonable to expect that someone should be able to turn it all around, and it is unfair for anybody to place such expectations on someone. Life, simply continues in one way or the other..a day at the time, and things change by themselves, without any effort being put into them in style of sudden energy bursts like -NOW, I'M SO POSITIVE AND HAVE A SPRING UP MY BUTT AND SEE HOW I'M MOVING FORWARD!! We live after all for ourselves, and proving how we are doing or healing to other people and society is totally uneccesary. When you know yourself you do something that moves YOU forward within, that is what ultimately matters. In a hundred years no-one will remember your particular life, and therefore, how you recuperated and got forward should not be pushed and/or expected by others.

With Love, to the whole world

 

[SophiaGrace]

The meaning of life is to live.

 

[kamya]

Some stoner dood I met once tried to be cute and answer this question. Here's his answer.
"The meaning of life is to live. There's more to living than only surviving. Theory is useless without application. So, go forth and live."

As for the love and suffering thing. There is an idea that our lives are just collections of experiences. The more extreme and varied the experiences the more enriched your life becomes. By this definition, a homeless man learning to live on the streets has an more enriched and better life than someone living inside their comfort zone not experiencing anything new day after day. These guys put a lot of value into trying different things. For example, changing something about the way you live or doing something different every day for 30 days. And then the next 30 days coming up with something new to do. By experiencing life in many different ways they are adding value to it.

(Examples would be, wearing a blindfold for a month, water fasting, living in the woods for a period of time (Thoreau anyone?), eating vegan, new exercises, shaving your head, live on the streets for a month, switch your sleeping schedule. There's all kinds of things you can try.)

 

[lonely_love]

Hey guys, I was thinking earlier, while reading "Mans Search for Meaning" By Viktor Frankl. And well, the first thing I have to say before going on is that instead of thinking of the meaning of life as a broad answer, the thing you need to realize is that it's not, it changes for every person. Frankl states that there are three ways you can find love, and I'm going to post a direct quote from the book here:

We can discover this meaning of life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. The first, by way of achievement or accomplishment, is quite obvious. The second and third need further elaboration.

The Meaning of Love

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the essence of another human being unless he loves him. by his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features of the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true...

The third way of finding a meaning in life is by suffering.

The Meaning of Suffering

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation--just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer--we are challenged to change ourselves...

But let me make it perfectly clear that in no way is suffering necessary to find meaning. I only insist that meaning is possible even in spite of suffering--provided, certainly, that the suffering is unavoidable. If it were avoidable, however, the meaningful thing to do would be to remove its cause, be it psychological, biological or political...

There are situations in which one is cut off from the opportunity to do one's work or enjoy one's life; but what can never be ruled out is the unavoidability of suffering. In accepting this challenge to suffer bravely, life has a meaning up to the last moment, and it retains this meaning literally to the end. In other words, life's meaning is an unconditional one, for it even includes the potential meaning of unavoidable suffering...

[In Auschwitz] the question that beset me was, "Has all this suffering, all this dying around us, a meaning? For, if not, then ultimately there is no meaning to survival; for a life whose meaning depends on such a happenstance--as whether one escapes or not--ultimately would not be worth living at all."

And I figured that since I have been denied the ability to find meaning in love multiple times, that I must find meaning in my suffering. I found that, considering I've had the courage and ability to come up to this point, to exhaust all options, to even reach this point - I have accomplished something, that I can find glory in the pain that's unavoidable. The fact that I cannot change my situation right now, that I'm helpless, allows me to find comfort that I'm now able to turn the pain and suffering of being lonely, into the peacefulness of being alone. This means simply put - that for the time being I am going to accept that this is the way it is, and perhaps, given the chance, someday I'll be able to find meaning in love once more. Just wanted to get this out there - feel free to comment or whatever, haha this is a thread after all.

Frankl's awesome. Some day I hope to own that book. I mean, I'd own it, but no job = no money = no books. I feel sorry for my boyfriend, because when I move in and have a job I'll buy books galore! but, yeah, I >.> I like reading WW2 stuff because it makes me feel like maybe my own life isn't so bad. Thanks for posting and reminding me .

 

[Adrolak]

Well the idea isn't that you learn to love suffering, not even close. it's to accept the unavoidable suffering, and not feel lost, even if you are suffering hopelessly. Because unfortunate circumstances can take away everything you hold dear ,everything you've ever loved, all your freedoms, rights, and abilities. Except the freedom to choose how you react to these things. That even if everything has gone horrible, and everything you loved had been stripped away, you can still find meaning in your life. An example from the book (paraphrased of course ) " I once had a friend of mine who had his wife pass away peacefully before him, and he was wracked with grief for months, he had lost his will to live and his love of life. He came to me and asked me for advice, and I told him 'What if you had passed before you wife' he said ' why, it would have been horrible, she would be put through so much suffering' I then responded ' See, you've made a sacrifice, so she didn't have to go through that suffering, that she was spared that horrible event. My friend then calmly shook my hand and walked out of my office." The point is that he accepted the death of his wife as inevitable, and that he found a meaning to life: sacrifice. Learning to love suffering would be masochistic, and that would be horrid, it's an entirely different problem. Oh yeah, and what's really interesting is that for part one, his time in the concentration camp, it's all through a psychological point of view. It's really awesome.

 

[Adrolak]

Now do you see what I mean? It's not meant to make you happy, to overcome sadness, it's meant to make you at peace with feeling that sadness, and at peace with going through that suffering. It's not meant to make you feel better, but rather to give you a purpose to continue, and perhaps, one day, things will get better.