Try to chill out a bit. Anyhow how did your first day go? Good hopefully. Read up on anxiety and see if the tips it suggests helps you. Its been years since I went to school but yes I used to freak out, mainly talking to class mates, luckily for me I went to an all girls school so it wasn't that bad. Are you shy? Here's something that I came across last week. Hope it helps.
Comfort zones can be great places to be, comfy, cosy, relaxed and easy. But stay there too long and you will start to rot. Not good.
So what are comfort zones, how do you get out of them and use them to become more confident?
Grab a cup of tea and get comfy. But don't expect to stay that way for long, today we are going to get right out of that comfort zone.
On a piece of paper, draw 4 concentric circles.
We will come to the inner circle later. But now, the second circle represents your comfort zone. We all have one, but some of us spend more time here than others. In the comfort zone you feel relaxed, safe, and stable and all is easy. However in the comfort zone you are not learning anything new, not pushing yourself and you are simply maintaining the status quo.
Comfort zones are friendly but they are restricting (although it may not feel that way) staying in them prevents you from reaching your potential, trying new things and experiencing things you would never have dreamed of.
The third circle represents your stretch zone. In the stretch zone you are challenged. New exciting things are happening, you are motivated, driven, learning new things and developing as a person. This is a great place to be but if we push it too far you can move into the outer circle.
The outer circle is the panic zone. You have taken on too much, gone much to far from your comfort zone and feel unhappy or demotivated, overwhelmed or fatigued. Obviously this is not a great place to be! However, touching on this zone occasionally shows we are really stretching things which is a good sign.
What is a good balance?
In an ideal world we would spend some time in the comfort zone, some time in the stretch zone and rarely touch on the panic zone.
So how does this relate to confidence, and how do you get that balance?
Everyone has an individual comfort zone which needs to start expanding. If your confidence is very low, your comfort zone may be at home, perhaps in a stable job, not really talking to anyone else. Pushing into your stretch zone may involve joining a new club, chatting to someone new at work or eating a new food.
Perhaps your confidence is great in some areas but in others it needs improving. Maybe you need to tell your partner exactly what you think about them going out with friends four nights a week. Maybe you want to ask the girl you have been chatting to for a date, or ask your boss for the raise you have been promised for over a year.
If you are relatively confident, find something new which will push you. Talking on Skype did that to me - I had no idea how it worked and the first time using it was going to be an interview - yes I was nervous! Maybe you are going to go travelling by yourself or riding a bike for the first time in 10 years.
Whatever your level, or wherever you are it doesn't matter. The important thing is to do something which makes you feel a little nervous, makes you apprehensive or learn something new. Something which makes you take a deep breathe and think - I CAN DO THIS. Because you can, you can do whatever you put your mind to, but a lot of those things will take you outside of that comfort zone.
The more you are in that stretch zone, the larger your comfort zone gets, and the more you need to do to get back into the stretch zone. And as you do more, you will feel great and want to stretch yourself even further - a viscous circle at it's best!
I am often asked if I am comfortable, in that second circle, why should I push myself?
Well, have a look at that inner circle which I haven't mentioned yet. That is the rot zone. And that is more damaging than the panic zone.
Stay in your comfort zone for too long, never stretch yourself and you will become bored. You won't experience new things, won't learn new things, meet new people or move forward. Eventually boredom will turn to unhappiness, even depression - you will start to rot.
So start to push yourself out of your comfort zone. If this is new, you don't need to go all out to start with, but everyday do something which makes you feel a little uncomfortable, stimulated, or excited, something which is not routine.
You don't want to push yourself into the panic zone. If your confidence is low, making an effort to ask someone on a date may put you into the stretch zone.....offering to give a talk to 500 people may place you into panic and not be the best idea (although you can certainly build up to this and even move it into your comfort zone!)
The most important thing is never to let yourself slip into that rot zone.........if you are there, get out now, today. Do something towards a goal you have and get moving!!!
Right, I have gone on long enough! From my recent experience I now have a Skype ID - kate1irwin1 - so if you ever want to contact me on that, feel free
Have a great week, let me know what you are going to do to get into that stretch zone and become uncomfortable!
Best wishes,
Kate.
PS. Don't forget to visit my blog
www.improvedconfidence.com
