so hey everyone
haven't been here, at least have not been active here
well i just think i need to say thanks to everyone who have given me a rep, because even though you don't know me and i feel like i did not make that much impression, your comment are so nice and i came back here just to look for hope. looking at them make feel ok, or i should say a lot better
well i came here being very lonely and got even more lonely after that, i am sorry to say. because i did not see a light, not even in some people successes, some of which made me jealous to tell the truth, and i start wondering if i am really a good person. and thought i deserve the pain and suffering i was going through.
my only wish was to hopefully meet someone at least online that i could hope to meet face to face soon. i did meet someone close enough but he disappear, left without a good bye. or get a kiss for new year, but it did not happen, i also wished to reconnect with the one i loved or thought i fell in love with. but apparently it was just a physical attraction because that wish did come true, i just don't know if it was a good thing or not. it really torment me. first i felt a sweet release, then i got my heart broken, cause he didn't feel the same, then come the start of a friendship, then it got lost somewhere. now i am wondering maybe it was better that i was oblivious of his feelings for me. but fantasizing about him was hurting so much. now i regret to have met him. huh
all i can do now is to be hopeful, not loose faith because i have a lot of signs pointing me to be hopeful, i have heard it in so many places, i guess i have to wait for my turn patiently....
so i came here idk, to get some input on those feelings, be grateful for you all, and release some stress by talking about it because i am too ashamed to tell this to any of the friends i have, and not complain because it will get me nowhere, and come to acceptance also. i need to stop associate others success to my mishap.....
haven't been here, at least have not been active here
well i just think i need to say thanks to everyone who have given me a rep, because even though you don't know me and i feel like i did not make that much impression, your comment are so nice and i came back here just to look for hope. looking at them make feel ok, or i should say a lot better
well i came here being very lonely and got even more lonely after that, i am sorry to say. because i did not see a light, not even in some people successes, some of which made me jealous to tell the truth, and i start wondering if i am really a good person. and thought i deserve the pain and suffering i was going through.
my only wish was to hopefully meet someone at least online that i could hope to meet face to face soon. i did meet someone close enough but he disappear, left without a good bye. or get a kiss for new year, but it did not happen, i also wished to reconnect with the one i loved or thought i fell in love with. but apparently it was just a physical attraction because that wish did come true, i just don't know if it was a good thing or not. it really torment me. first i felt a sweet release, then i got my heart broken, cause he didn't feel the same, then come the start of a friendship, then it got lost somewhere. now i am wondering maybe it was better that i was oblivious of his feelings for me. but fantasizing about him was hurting so much. now i regret to have met him. huh
all i can do now is to be hopeful, not loose faith because i have a lot of signs pointing me to be hopeful, i have heard it in so many places, i guess i have to wait for my turn patiently....
so i came here idk, to get some input on those feelings, be grateful for you all, and release some stress by talking about it because i am too ashamed to tell this to any of the friends i have, and not complain because it will get me nowhere, and come to acceptance also. i need to stop associate others success to my mishap.....
