Greeting friend, from Gorov, lonely comrade in frigid Russia!
In Russia, we have potato. We have beet, and turnip. This is good, so everything is good!
Tonight, at supper in my glorious shack, I construct meal while thinking of lonely existence on freezing border of Siberia. I was inspire for thought by lonely howl of wind in distant fence of gulag work camp.
For glory of motherland, and strength to comrades, I present you...
BEETS AND TURNIP WITH POTATO
You say, but Gorov! This is mad, there is no meat! But I say FOOL! Meat is sacrificed for glory of ALL comrades, instead of greedy bourgeois capitalist pig. Sit and learn you fascist bastards!
FIRST YOU TAKE BEET. THEN POTATO.
Mash potato. MASH IT WELL, THE LUMP IS HATEFUL, LIKE PACK OF WILD BOAR. Then! Slice beet, and lay on top.
Now place Turnip in the middle. This must be eaten whole to prove worth as man. A strong jaw for the bite and chewing! NO BUTTER! BUTTER IS FOR BOURGEOIS AND CLOGS FAT AMERICAN ARTERY OF PIGGY UPPER CLASS. Remember on Tuesday to utilize salt ration on potato.
Now drink vodka. Drink hardy, comrade! Forget pain of daily existence and be merry!
Thank you for share dinner in Russia with Gorov. Lonely wind is not quite so lonely, now.