For those of you with relationships...

[TheSolitaryMan]

...what's it like?

Sounds like a dumb question I guess, but it's one I sincerely am interested in. As a firmly placed outsider, I feel like I spend all my time dispensing "advice" to other people, but it's all stuff I just puzzle over in my mind and research rather than first-hand knowledge.

The idea of actually going out with a girl sort of terrifies me, so I wonder if those who do could help me out by filling me in on their experiences?

Do you keep in really frequent contact with your partner or are things more laid-back? Meet up regularly? Do you enjoy being in a relationship, or do you prefer the much-touted "freedom" of being single? Are there positives to both?

What were/are the most magical moments of your relationship? What are the most trying?

Of course, no need to go too personal in your responses, privacy's an important thing. But I'd be intrigued if anyone wanted to share a glimpse into their memories or current experiences

 

[Mazda13bRotary]

There are good times, and there are honeysuckle times. Mostly honeysuckle times.

Good times are when you and your girl are cuddling together, having sex, deep kissing, etc...

honeysuckle times are when your girl wants to hang out with a guy whom she swears is just FRIENDS with, yet you know she's full of honeysuckle and is probably giving him a little road noggin while ignoring your txt messages.

The grass is always greener. Singles see happy couples. Couples see happy singles.

 

[Limlim]

It's nice because you have someone who is always there when you come home at the end of the day.
It sucks because there's is always someone there when you come home at the end of the day...

Sex is really great, but it gets to be stressful. I'm not gonna lie and say I'm super great in bed but I can perform if I have to. The only problem is generally it turns into either I have a good time or she has a good time. My ego can't really take it if I'm doing shitty so it's generally the latter.... which makes it less fun for me.

You get someone to out to places with, restaurants, bars, other couples houses without feeling like the 3rd wheel, vacations to places without being bored because you are by yourself. But you gotta go to boring honeysuckle she likes that you don't, including her extended families house, this will happen usually when you've had a long day at work and just want to relax.

I am currently not in a relationship, I was at a point in my life where I had to choose my relationship or career and I picked the job, so I lost the girl. But I can't really say if one is better than the other, they're just.... different. I suppose if I could say it in a nutshell, is that it's more work but there's more reward as well.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It depends on your partner and also you.

yes..good times, bad times. Laughters tears...etc
To dramma N truama and stupid crazy honeysuckle that youll wanna stab your fucken eyes out
or burn the god **** house down.

To peace, sereen, heaven on earth and fresia what the world thinks.

Lots of sex...wild, pAassionate love making all over the place
anywhere and everywhere...
To..fresia you!!...dont fucken touch me, dont look at me or even think about me.

From...I caNT Live without YA....to STFU and GTFU

BORING IT WAS NOT....

More good times in my case...but when the bad times comes..its like a god **** hurricain.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Its pleasant and offers a great deal of security and comfort. The most magical moments often are among the most mundane, like if she leans on your arm and falls asleep; you'll also find that some of your bitterest fights might be over things which, from a third party perspective, seem almost ludicrously silly.

There is a lot of compromise and tolerance at times, which can become frustrating. You'll also find yourself spending a lot more money as you try to impress her, but she can also provide you with a perspective that you were previously lacking. Unfortunately, she will sometimes be there to provide 'her perspective' whether you want it or not, and even seem to actively wreck your goals if they seem to conflict with hers. As with Limlim, notice that career and relationships can at times work at opposite ends.

Sex is very nice, especially if you call the shots >.>

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Thanks for the replies everyone, I hope some more continue to come in. Very interesting indeed

Yeah, I most look forward to just the cuddling and "mundane stuff", as it was put. Ahhhh...**** I wish I had someone to hug sometimes. It's quite literal heartache - I think of hugs and my chest feels slightly tight and stuff :\

Another month and perhaps I will get someone to squeeze. I sure hope so.

Mazda has a fair point with the "grass" comment. Though I have to say, I think I'd rather have had some kind of relationship than constantly view the happy couples over and over from the outside, even if that relationship goes sour.

Watching others frolic in the park and kiss each other passionately in the sunshine is nothing short of torture when I'm just sat there painfully alone, half-reading a huge, dry book on reaction mechanisms or something XD

Sex to me is...weird. I can see why it's desirable, and some of the replies make that clearer. But the more I think of it, the more it scares the crap out of me to be honest. If I'm thinking about relationships I suppose I should be emotionally ready for that sort of stuff, but I don't know if I am.

If a ridiculously attractive girl asked me to get serious with her right now, I just know that I'd decline. I guess that's my own insecurities or something. Meh

Anyway! More on-topic, thank you for the honest and intriguing replies, and I shall be watching the thread to respond to any others

 

[Equinox]

(I'll just keep lurking and read the replies with interest. I've been wondering, too. Also, may I throw in an extra question? Is it worth it all? The compromises, the fights, the breakups and heartaches?)

 

[Limlim]

It gets tiring after awhile... I guess that's where love comes into play. Lets you see past all that.

That said I don't know If in my relationships I've been in love or not. I suppose if I were I would have made them last or picked them over career.

 

[IgnoredOne]

The honeymoon stage passes, but its worth it. I rather missed some exes even though in retrospect, it was nothing special, because it was nice just to have someone to come home to.

 

[Limlim]

Also validates existence for awhile. Despite picking the career and stockpiling money, I sometimes wonder. "okay, but what am I supposed to do with all this now?" Seems kinda silly really. You know, should probably just ignore me I don't think I know what I'm talking about.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Also validates existence for awhile. Despite picking the career and stockpiling money, I sometimes wonder. "okay, but what am I supposed to do with all this now?" Seems kinda silly really. You know, should probably just ignore me I don't think I know what I'm talking about.

No, no. That makes a lot of sense.

Often one of my thoughts is that there must be something more to life than just having a good job and money. One of my main motivations for looking for a lady actually.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Ofcourse it's all worth it, it's so nice to be in a relationship with someone, especially if you can call them your best friend aswell.

Sure, there are times when you need to compromise and there are those silly fights that just seem to keep going on and on eventhough you completely forgot why you started them... but, it's so nice to always have someone to do those things with that you wouldn't find anyone else to go to otherwise It's nice to not sleep alone, it's nice to do mundane/everyday things/activities together, it's nice to know there's someone you can count on, someone to back you up, someone with whom you share an intimate bond.

Also, who says meeting her extended family's boring? You might end up near the arctic cirlce, riding a dog sled You'll end up meeting people you thought you'd never meet, while visiting places you could've never imagined.

 

[nerdygirl]

This feels like a sitcom moment, when I'm supposed to say, "It feels nice." and then you respond, "I KNEW it!"

Relationships, regardless of if they are romantic or platonic, have their ups and downs. The main difference when you throw in the romance is that there's more physical affection and a stronger emotional connection. Either way, you still have the stupid arguments, inside jokes, compromises, and support.

 

[Equinox]

The original post acutally makes me think of this classic Monty Python sketch (one of my personal favourites):

[video=youtube]

These guys are so brilliant!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

The original post acutally makes me think of this classic Monty Python sketch (one of my personal favourites):

[video=youtube]

These guys are so brilliant!

Heheh, very funny. I'd almost forgotten about that sketch.

I'm far more like that guy than I'd like to be

 

[LoneKiller]

I went to see a movie one time with a girl and I said to the person in the ticket booth "Two For .. then she interrupted me and said oh no, I can pay for myself. I insisted, but again she declined. I was just being kind, but there are a lot of very independent women this day and age who prefer to pay their own way. What advice can I offer you? Just ask your date ahead of time if she or he prefers to go "Dutch". She won't think you are a "cheapskate".

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I went to see a movie one time with a girl and I said to the person in the ticket booth "Two For .. then she interrupted me and said oh no, I can pay for myself. I insisted, but again she declined. I was just being kind, but there are a lot of very independent women this day and age who prefer to pay their own way. What advice can I offer you? Just ask your date ahead of time if she or he prefers to go "Dutch". She won't think you are a "cheapskate".

Ah, is this advice borne from that previous thread I posted?

Yeah, I'm definitely not rich. But really...I don't think it's that. I'd probably die of shame if I asked a girl to pay for her cinema ticket actually - but I could probably cover that okay.

It's more like I just can't get the balls to ask the girl I like out full stop. She seems to like me, but that's not really enough to go on. Hell, she could probably try to forcibly remove my trousers and I'd still not be certain she liked me

I've spent so much time going over the pros and cons of her interactions with me, can't really work it out unfortunately. On one hand she's always staring and smiling, on the other, she hasn't contacted me over the Uni holidays. So who knows?

I should probably just forget romance for a few more years anyway, get my degree out of the way. It's just a shame I can't do that :\

 

[kwilczynski]

...what's it like?

I always wonder myself I haven't got the opportunity to experience this yet, and I am 28 already

くりすとふ

 

[Equinox]

I've spent so much time going over the pros and cons of her interactions with me, can't really work it out unfortunately. On one hand she's always staring and smiling, on the other, she hasn't contacted me over the Uni holidays. So who knows?

The thing with a lot of girls is that they WANT the guy to step up, take some action and be confident. They will sit at home and wait for that e-mail or text asking them out. The problem with this is, apparently, that's exactly what a lot of guys want from the girls as well. It's bound to clash somewhere.

 

[Badjedidude]

The thing with a lot of girls is that they WANT the guy to step up, take some action and be confident.

In my experience, I'd say that MOST girls want to be the ones who are pursued, rather than vice versa.

This is the problem for a lot of shy guys. They need to balls-up and just DO IT.