Is it better to have no friends or is it better to have so called friends that you do not trust? I've found myself in a very deep depression for quite some time. If not for work, I probably would not get out of the house. I do not have a gf and do not have any children. The handful of friends that I do (did) have I do not trust. Meaning they're the type of guys that have tried to hook up with my ex under my nose. They've even tried while we were together. So, with the summer approaching is it better to branch out on my own and try to make new friends or use my frenemies as a medium to meet new friends and then cut them off? I am an introvert, extremely shy and very depressed. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you in advance for viewing.
Frenemies
- Thread starter skwillrd
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Skid Row 89
Well-known member
These "friends" will only make you feel even worse while searching for people who are actually worthy of being called true friends. I'd say you should make an effort to go out, socialise and meet new friends without using these people as a medium. You can do it!skwillrd said:
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
You can't trust anyone fully. That's dangerous, I think. So, it's better to have a balance really, have some friends, but it doesn't mean you can trust them entirely. You don't have to let on your personal life and details immediately into a friendship, right? Take the time to get to know people.... only then can the trust build.
C
Cavey
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I like to try and trust people until they give me a reason not to. I find that friendships move much more smoothly that way.
Having said this, if any of my 'friends' attempted to 'hook up' with my ex, then that's probably where our friendship would end. I suppose I'd be all right with it if they respected my feelings enough to talk to me about it first and explain the motivation behind it.
You're the only one that can decide whether these people are worthy of your friendship, but if they are openly disrespecting you, then perhaps it's time to move on.
Having said this, if any of my 'friends' attempted to 'hook up' with my ex, then that's probably where our friendship would end. I suppose I'd be all right with it if they respected my feelings enough to talk to me about it first and explain the motivation behind it.
You're the only one that can decide whether these people are worthy of your friendship, but if they are openly disrespecting you, then perhaps it's time to move on.
ladyforsaken said:
^ This
D
defenestrate
Guest
I think there is more to friendship than trust. I think how other people choose to treat you is important. I'm not going to offer any advice because I don't believe there is a clear cut guide for choosing friends. Instead I'm going to tell a story.
I knew someone who was depressed like you, and had some friends who are into very questionable stuff. He would spend time with his friends just for the sake of being around someone. The only time his friends called him was when they needed something. When his friends spent time with him, they constantly put him down. Loneliness drove this man to spend time with the wrong crowd. Being able to confront his own depression and learning how to build better friends was his own unique solution to this. I do not believe answering all-or-nothing statements like this are going to fix a complex problem. I just hope you feel better. You deserve to have friends who do treat you with kindness and respect.
I knew someone who was depressed like you, and had some friends who are into very questionable stuff. He would spend time with his friends just for the sake of being around someone. The only time his friends called him was when they needed something. When his friends spent time with him, they constantly put him down. Loneliness drove this man to spend time with the wrong crowd. Being able to confront his own depression and learning how to build better friends was his own unique solution to this. I do not believe answering all-or-nothing statements like this are going to fix a complex problem. I just hope you feel better. You deserve to have friends who do treat you with kindness and respect.
randomdude
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That friends of yours are the kind of people i would probably avoid haging with because the thing you described seems like a major disrespect. I wouldn't be too hasty in your situation especially if you know them for ages, but i would just slowly get away from them and start hanging more with other friends. Sometimes even choosing to be lonely is better than hanging with wrong people.
No friends man. As stated, these people will make you feel worse then you would with no friends. I knew a guy who was a little too close with my ex after we split. He never stood a chance with her but for trying, he flushed away our friendship. Since then he's flushed away another 5 friendships. You CAN be friends with these people. But you'd have to have some pretty decent boundaries. For example, you'd have to keep your Love Life silent and you'd have to not tell them other personal stuff. They could be casual friends, so to speak. In time, they could lead you to more genuine people. Use them as they use you.
P
perfanoff
Guest
Better be alone than with friends who aren't my friends.
So I have a few, but I implicitly trust them.
For some people having many buddies instead of a few friends, it works. Not for me.
So I have a few, but I implicitly trust them.
Gutted said:
For some people having many buddies instead of a few friends, it works. Not for me.
