Friend Finder Apps

[h3donist]

Hi all

I was in the Google Play store and noticed that there were a lot of Apps dedicated to finding new friends. The basic premise is that you install the App, specify the sort of people you want to meet, then it uses location finding services to find others in the same boat, giving you an opportunity to communicate with them. I was looking for a way of meeting people that wasn't Online Dating or those Casual Hookup sort of things so thought I'd give one a go.

So I did a bit of research and the one with the consistent positives review was one called "Skout" so I installed it, created a profile and the least hideous photo of myself and clicked find. A page full of people (mostly pouting girls, overweight men and 40-something women stood behind a spotty child) appeared. Suddenly I received a message "someone's checked you out! Click here to find out who!" so I tapped the screen and....

...I received a demand for payment.

It slowly dawned on me that these "in app purchases" companies are preying on the loneliness of others. Their target audience are people so desperate for someone to reach out to them, so by dangling the carrot of "a person wants to be your friend, but we will tell you who right after you send us some money." The message may even be bogus - an automated message using a stock photo of a woman to encourage me to spend more on trying to communicate with her.

With subscription based sites like Match is that you pay up front then there's nothing left to do except pay for your membership - I'm happy with that, or a complete free site supported by advertising revenue - that's fine too. But the "freemium" model of pricing, to actively try to lure lonely people into paying for human interaction is, in my opinion, insidious and cruel.

I have found meetup.com though which seems a lot better way of finding people with similar interests without trying to rinse me for cash.

 

[lifestream]

'A meaningful glance on the train. A "me too" moment at a club. An instant connection. At Skout, we're all about preserving the magic of unexpected meetings that lead to discovering new people. From friendships to romance, Skout has been connecting people since 2007. The world has no limits, so why should you?'

I'm instantly skeptical!

 

[Aisha]

I can vouch for meetup.com. I've made a few friends through it who I've kept in touch with on and off for years. I also tried to use your method and tried not an app, but another website for friend finding during a particularly isolated period. Major fail. I received constant emails along the lines of the message you received. I wouldn't use apps for that sort of thing. There are very few reliable methods for that, especially considering the majority on those sort of apps and things aren't interested in 'friendship'. It's a little sad how difficult it can be to find and make friends as an adult.

 

[h3donist]

I can vouch for meetup.com. I've made a few friends through it who I've kept in touch with on and off for years. I also tried to use your method and tried not an app, but another website for friend finding during a particularly isolated period. Major fail. I received constant emails along the lines of the message you received. I wouldn't use apps for that sort of thing. There are very few reliable methods for that, especially considering the majority on those sort of apps and things aren't interested in 'friendship'. It's a little sad how difficult it can be to find and make friends as an adult.

Exactly! I just want to meet some new people - not start a relationship or have casual sex with them, just want to expand my horizons a bit. I'll give Meetup.com a go and I've signed up to an author's group who meet every Tuesday. Plus have made a couple of good friends here too

 

[Aisha]

Exactly! I just want to meet some new people - not start a relationship or have casual sex with them, just want to expand my horizons a bit. I'll give Meetup.com a go and I've signed up to an author's group who meet every Tuesday. Plus have made a couple of good friends here too

Good luck! Most of the people who use meetup.com seem to be genuinely nice, at least in the groups I've been to. Haven't been to one in a while. I should go when I get the time. If you're in a large city it's even better because you get a greater variety of groups you can join. It's nice because everyone shares your interest, and whether you're a beginner or not you feel comfortable with them very quickly. And you're right, this is a good place to make friends too. I'm grateful for the friends I've made through this forum, they're good people. Anyway, have fun and do let me know how your first session goes if you can. Hopefully you'll meet a bunch of interesting people you can hang out and do other things with too.

 

[HappyYogi]

I respect how you feel about this but I wouldn't have taken it bad.

It's just marketing.

I would not think they are "preying upon the lonely". How much did they ask for pray tell?

It takes time, money and effort to start these things. I think it's OK to ask for a nominal amount.

Heck, I found my boyfriend on a paying niche dating site. It wasn't expensive and it changed my life.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It slowly dawned on me that these "in app purchases" companies are preying on the loneliness of others. Their target audience are people so desperate for someone to reach out to them, so by dangling the carrot of "a person wants to be your friend, but we will tell you who right after you send us some money." The message may even be bogus - an automated message using a stock photo of a woman to encourage me to spend more on trying to communicate with her.

This isn't just with a find-a-friend app. There are many apps that have nothing to do with finding friends that do this. It's on the user to find out if in-app purchases are required to gain access to a feature. In fact, many of the apps that do, you'll probably see where they said so in the details of the app. Also, if someone does choose to pay, then that's on the person. No one makes anyone pay. Google doesn't automatically take payment unless you've set something up to do so. It's a buyer-beware, or in this case, a user-beware type deal.

I can understand the frustration, but most make it very clear that there are in-app purchases.

This Skout app in particular... It says dating, so that leads me to believe it's at least partially a dating gig, and it does say "In-app purchases $0.99 - $99.99 per item" so whether or not they mean to pull people through ropes is irrelevant when their prices are right there.

100 bucks though... Goodness, I could spend that on a much better time.

I see there's also a paid version, Skout+, for 2.99, so it's obvious to me they intend to make money and build a successful business.

 

[Alana]

I'm in the same boat as you and I've tried lots of web sites and apps with no success. I'd love to find something that actually works because it's frustrating. Sorry I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to say that I can definitely relate. I hope you can find something that works for you.

 

[LonelySutton]

I can vouch for meetup.com. I've made a few friends through it who I've kept in touch with on and off for years.

But if you want to start your own meetup you have to pay? Right? I am not saying they are praying on loneliness, after all we can meetup from here or there is craigslist etc.

I also find it hard to find ways to make friends. I am beginning to suspect that anything on the internet is a mistake.

 

[9006]

Heh, I've installed one of these apps before when I was bored. I thought I'd try out a popular 'free' one. It wasn't the one that was described but very similar in many ways. It was both ends of the spectrum; all the people on there just seem to desperate or extremely high standards with guys & girls with the most ridiculous pictures, either pulling stupid duck faces, guys flexing, KO'd at a party or wearing very little.

Just seems that barely anybody takes these seriously and they're mostly designed for profit, exploiting the desperate, needy an lonely while coming across as the new 'fun' & happening app. Of course all the actual useful features are locked unless you pay up.

If you think about it, why the hell would anybody pay to meet people, when you can simply meet anyone in real life for nothing? It's a combination of these app ideas and social networking making meeting actual, REAL people obsolete. Why don't we all just download ourselves and discard our [evidently] useless bodies.

Lol...