Getting back together with an ex

[Gravity]

So, what do you all think about this? Is it a good idea? Sometimes? Always? Never?

My ex, whom I've remained inconveniently in love with since we split up 2.5 years ago, recently split with his new (now ex) bf. He's still in the grieving stage so obviously nothing is going to happen for a while, but once he's better I really want to ask him if he wants to get back together.

We're still close, I'm just not sure how he feels about me exactly. The breakup, while not a vicious one, was a bit messy and extended, but he's always wanted to be at least friends, and there have been intimate moments since then. On the other hand he usually seems a bit guarded around me, like he expects me to be the same guy I was when we split, but I don't know how to show him I'm not without being super obvious about things.

Maybe this isn't enough info...hopefully it gives you all at least a general idea. I can clarify something if you like.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Personally, I think it's a bad idea. Things are usually never the same.

 

[Badjedidude]

DON'T DO IT.

We always remember the good parts of our relationships. Try to remind yourself of the reasons that the relationship ended in the first place. Because that same honeysuckle WILL happen again if you go out with this ex again.

 

[freedom]

ok, plain and simple, 99.9% of the time, it is NEVER a good idea to get back with an ex. 'nuff sssssaid.

 

[SofiasMami]

Bad, bad idea! Don't do it!!

Teresa

 

[ReyOzymandias]

I'm going to dissent here, but only conditionally. If your ex can see you and love you for who you are now, and you (and your ex, I suppose) are ready for the fact that you might have to face some problems you faced the last time around, then by all means get back together, but you have to tread lightly until you can be sure those conditions are met.

 

[Darkness]

I have never been in a relationship before, but if you guys think you can truly work it out, then by all means go with it again. Being lonely sucks!

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree with Darkness as well. If you two think you can possibly work on it and work it out, then by all means, go for it. I'd rather at least try, and not wonder "what if..." for years. Because I've tried, not once, but twice... Mine didn't work out, but at least I can assure myself I know it won't. And it won't make me falter in future relationships.

 

[Callie]

I agree with Darkness as well. If you two think you can possibly work on it and work it out, then by all means, go for it. I'd rather at least try, and not wonder "what if..." for years. Because I've tried, not once, but twice... Mine didn't work out, but at least I can assure myself I know it won't. And it won't make me falter in future relationships.

I've never had a retried relationship work for me...BUT, I have to agree with Nilla on this. I don't have to wonder what would have happened if I did try. I got closure from it.

 

[trZ]

It will not work out, go on with your life. I don't think it is ever a good idea to get together with an ex.

 

[Yoosha]

move on, I don't think getting back to an ex is a good idea.. it's the worst thing you'd do, you might get hurt more than the first break-up!!! I don't know it just happened to me 'twice'.

 

[louMcntire]

I've never actually been in a relationship so take my advice lightly; But if you've remained in love with this person for the past 2.5 years you might want to distance yourself from him so as to have those feelings dissipate.
Otherwise, get back with him and work it out. Love feels like poison when you don't show it, and it hurts twice as bad when it's right there in front of you.