Give up? or keep trying?

[Erevetot]

an advice, do NOT pay attention to social media things like whatsapp etc. It'll make you feel worse, im speaking from experience. e.g. girl reading my message on whatsapp and not replying for 5 hours and whatsapp showe her logged in, i thought she was avoiding me. she was at work busy, and had the app on and the phone was auto reading it. Also, she may not use the app that much. While you may get signs for the worst, i'd say dont stop hoping unless she clearly ends it. Ask her out again soon etc, if she turns you down then just stop trying with her and move on
I know how it sucks to get hope for something and then getting rejected, but thats the only way to suceed, confidence!
Also, from what i understood the date was fun! Keep that, not the bad feeling you got in the end. Keep the fun memories, and use them to motivate yourself for the next date(s), with her or not!

 

[hitch1983]

i hear what your saying but just got a new development. decided to go back into it just there.... she deleted her online dating account. its only been a day since the date

and still lack of response, only a blind optimist would still hold out hope now, given the manner we communicated before the date. dunno whats worse, the rejection of the date, or the fact that i probably played a huge part in her ditching online dating. cant say that with assurances but would i would guess it wouldnt be a million miles from the truth,

picking myself up from this one is gonna be really tough!

 

[Erevetot]

there are many reasons she may did it, dont let it get you down, you could be the reason, in a good or bad way. I gave up on trying to understand women long ago
No matter what the reason is, just use it as a positive experience, it was a fun date, so keep it like that in your memory bank! If you dont think this will go anywhere, just move on, just dont let it affect you negatively in the next dates!

 

[hitch1983]

thanks for the encouragement, ill get there again, but i guess i just need to process these feelings, i wont let it beat me down like before.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Never give up. A good luck can be just around the corner. :3

 

[hitch1983]

another day past and ive came to a harsh realisation about myself.

this last date was pleasant and fun, but obviously no fireworks for her and if im being truthful to myself, there wasnt any myself.

she was a nice girl and very easy to get on with. But ive realised that ive reached a point in my loneliness that i cant really trust my own judgement anymore. by that, i mean if this girl gave me half a chance of pursing her, i would have thrown myself into heart, mind and soul, regardless of whether it was good for me or not.

im broken, how the hang do i repair this.

 

[Erevetot]

well, it's a good thing that you didn't let yourself fall so quick, you saved yourself from a lot of emotional pain.

falling in love with someone if you know/feel they feel the same or got an interest in you too is not bad. of course, like any form of human relationship, it can get ugly, especially if it happens in the begginning, as after a while together you get to know the person more and they may not be what/who you thought initialy. But if you think it'd work out, then if you fell like giving it your all, go for it, it's an experience, and the moments you'll live are gonna make it worth it. Sure, it may hurt in the end, it may not go well for long, but the moments of happiness you'll get, in the long run will make you regret nothing.

that's the issue i personaly have too. While I can date without getting too attatched, if I get in a relationship, I give it my all, and in the end it sucks. My last relationship, I didnt expect it to work out as she was 10 years older, and 4-5 countries away. but she made me feel loved and secure in the begginning, she promised she'll make it work etc etc. I let myself get attatched to her,and when she realized how much I loved her, she abused it. Not on purpose, she had her emotional issues too, but she changed. It hurt me a lot, it still does, its too recent. But I dont regret it at all. I regret rushing it, I regret some of my choices during it, but I'd do it again.
I thought I was broken. I still think i am as everyone I love hurts me and leaves, but it's not due to the "loved too much/fast". We just show it to the wrong people.

I'm pretty sure it's a matter of luck now, until the right girl comes in your life. Not every girl is right, and not all times are right. You cant just know that a girl is the right one for you, but if you feel like she may be, then it worths a shot. Dont give up on dating, just dont try to force yourself to like/dislike a girl. Trust your feelings/guts, and be confident

 

[vstained]

another day past and ive came to a harsh realisation about myself.

this last date was pleasant and fun, but obviously no fireworks for her and if im being truthful to myself, there wasnt any myself.

she was a nice girl and very easy to get on with. But ive realised that ive reached a point in my loneliness that i cant really trust my own judgement anymore. by that, i mean if this girl gave me half a chance of pursing her, i would have thrown myself into heart, mind and soul, regardless of whether it was good for me or not.

im broken, how the hang do i repair this.

It really could be a million things. She might have just broken up with her boyfriend and not be ready for a new relationship. She is already involved with someone else but it is not serious or exclusive, etc. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and went on a date yesterday and basically did to my date what your date did to you. (I just didn't feel any attraction to her and wish it was different. She is a great person and I'm lonely as hell but if I am not attracted to her and lead her on then it will probably just really end badly in the end)

I won't sweat it. I think the best way to take this is to realize that everybody is responsible for themselves in their own life. Don't feel responsible for her because of her closing her online dating account. You gave her the opportunity to meet you and she blew it. Her loss. I have this theory that being totally shameless with woman is the best thing you can do in most situations and this will probably be good advice in this situation as well. Shamelessly allow yourself to keep on trying because that is what most men usually do. I struggle with this one as well... It's a huge effort to keep on trying after being rejected. Do exactly what you did to meet this woman to meet a new woman.

Ever walked down the street and saw a couple where the woman was really attractive and the guy butt-ugly? I see this a lot... I would bet that it's these kinds of guys that have no shame and who usually shamelessly keep on trying....

 

[chrish]

Hi,

im 31 years old. Ive got alot to be thankful for in my life and i am but one thing has always been missing. Love.

Since i was old enough or have a desire to date, say since i was 15/16, ive never had a relationship that's lasted longer than 3 months. if you can even call 3 months a relationship.

Even though im not especially great looking, maybe 5 or a 6 if i was rated out of 10 on a good day. In the early days i still thought i had something to offer the opposite sex. I might not be classical handsome but always thought, im a decent guy, im a little shy but if people took the time to get to know me, they would see that it was just as good as anyone else, and i believed this whole heartily.

But as the years went on and rejection ensued, i realise now ive been losing a little bit of my soul. At first rejection was really tough for me, i would go into depression. I couldnt understand why i was soo coldly rejected. But i still soldiered on and kept trying. Each subsequent rejection always hurt, but eventually i became cold it and react in a different way. (lose hope, feel like giving up completely)

Its now got to the stage when a whole year will have passed and i havent even pursued one date!

I should also say, when it comes to where am i looking, ive tried it all. Online dating, churches, sports clubs, work, thru friends etc etc. nothing has stuck.

the best success i had was online, but that was always long distance, every person to person encounter ive had, has lasted no more than 3 dates.

Im feeling soo dejected and devoid of hope that i find it hard to even start looking again.

Ive lost that believe in myself, how can any other girls possibly want me if i now dont think ill be any good for them myself.

so my cry is - do i give up or how can you learn to live with the fact ull probably be alone your whole life.

What I would say I's do not give up, ever. If you do you will never know what could have been, I'm sitting here now completely dejected, after throwing such a special person away, through my own fears, I built things up in my head that I was terrified of loosing someone else, now she's gone, I can see that she was different and any guy would be lucky to have her, all I'm saying is in my opinion, it's better to try, than to never know what could have been

 

[mari1969]

Hi,

im 31 years old. Ive got alot to be thankful for in my life and i am but one thing has always been missing. Love.

Since i was old enough or have a desire to date, say since i was 15/16, ive never had a relationship that's lasted longer than 3 months. if you can even call 3 months a relationship.

Even though im not especially great looking, maybe 5 or a 6 if i was rated out of 10 on a good day. In the early days i still thought i had something to offer the opposite sex. I might not be classical handsome but always thought, im a decent guy, im a little shy but if people took the time to get to know me, they would see that it was just as good as anyone else, and i believed this whole heartily.

But as the years went on and rejection ensued, i realise now ive been losing a little bit of my soul. At first rejection was really tough for me, i would go into depression. I couldnt understand why i was soo coldly rejected. But i still soldiered on and kept trying. Each subsequent rejection always hurt, but eventually i became cold it and react in a different way. (lose hope, feel like giving up completely)

Its now got to the stage when a whole year will have passed and i havent even pursued one date!

I should also say, when it comes to where am i looking, ive tried it all. Online dating, churches, sports clubs, work, thru friends etc etc. nothing has stuck.

the best success i had was online, but that was always long distance, every person to person encounter ive had, has lasted no more than 3 dates.

Im feeling soo dejected and devoid of hope that i find it hard to even start looking again.

Ive lost that believe in myself, how can any other girls possibly want me if i now dont think ill be any good for them myself.

so my cry is - do i give up or how can you learn to live with the fact ull probably be alone your whole life.

You a man,31 y/o and handsome think about give up, what do i have to expect? Im a women (I think there are 10 women for 1 man), 45 y/o, I like younger men.

If you feel that way I have to buy a casket and get inside until my last day come because i hate, i suffer a lot being alone.

 

[Seeker_2.0]

You're still too young to give up, plus, many women around your age do look to settle down with a husband, so you have at least one thing in your favor.

 

[mari1969]