god my life FUCKIN SUCKS

[SighX99]

its fuckin chrismas again.

shitty things: i've lost all of my friends, everyone has moved away (even though when they come back, no one calls me. no one has given me presents or greeted me, not even over the internet, one friend of mine just came back from Humboldt to visit me, asking me whats new... i seriously cannot answer that question anymore. nothing is new, everything fuckin sucks still. i have no girlfriend, no friends that truly care, no one at all. i fuckin hate my parents to the fullest. i have no sympathy for them at all, i hate doing honeysuckle for them. my mom always gives me fuckin cheap ass present like a shirt or gloves. they dont give a fresia about what I truly want. my parents are the most selfish motherfuckers. worst of all, they think they are right. i get no privacy at all from them, they just barge into my door fuckin every morning telling me honeysuckle. fresia them all. they stopped giving me money because they dont trust me. i'm sick of where i'm living now. i fuckin hate this neighborhood, my neighbor across street used to be my best friend, now that hes moved away, bunch of stupid high school girls live there now, always being fuckin loud. i fuckin hate my life, i hate everyone that i see, i hate my family, i hate everything. i envy people with single parent or foster homes.... thats how bad i hate my life.

you might say, hey think about kids in africa, well i dont give a fresia. those african kids probably had more sex, more freedom, more friends to depend their lives on, than i do.

good things: i'm still alive.

this is the saddest christmas i've ever had...

imma go cry now

 

[packyourbags]

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
ummmm well i have an excuse we don't have chrismas around here XD
but if you want to talk to me

 

[Radomir]

*hugs* man
In the end ,you hate yourself.
Change.
See the full beaty of who you really are..
Learn one thing,that life is only a dream there is no such thing as death,we are spirts,or minds,who HAVE TO exist forever.
No matter what happens you are always THAT.
With Love And Light
Radomir

 

[alonejasmin]

You have many things that I don't have... at least you got Christmas presents that you don't like.
You sound young, you have a future ahead, and you are healthy. - That is treasure box... you simply didn't open it yet.
I spend alone every holidays, I didn't talk or see people for several days now, I did have full time job until 3 months ago, now I don't have any job... I am living in the shallo place where you have to be young, tall, pretty, so that you can have some chances.
Middle aged divorced woman can't find any decent job here, specially when you are short...I applied for several positions but no answered... I don't want to particulary live in this place but where I should go? At least you don't have to support your family...all you have to do is sutdy or finish the school so that you can be ready for the world outside.
English is not my mother tongue, but I can speak English well here(somewhere asia), so I did have a good job for 6 years but now that I am in my middle forty, nobody interested in me here.... due to my age!!
When I read your post, I wanted to tell you that there are so many people who are in worst situations than yours.
I have my child but not living with me, my child is living in other country, I don't have family or friends to spend holidays together...
I have to eat, sleep totally alone for many years, enough makes me not to feel like cooking for my self at home....I'm living with fear-until when do I have to live the life like this...always waiting for the bright future..but when that future is now with me.... it's always the same.. quietness...alone and feeling numb.
I was seeking spiritual food for many years, but today it striked me that I could not even enjoy the food in reality, the food that I am eating every day is just eggs and bread...wow.
What is the point to having expectation of the high things... when in fact, I couldn't even reached to get the wisdom from God and not getting any delicious food and sharing with people... like nomal people do.
What kind of curse I am carrying in this world... this loneliness suffocating me every day. At least you have family to shouting at and curse behind them....you can do that because you know that in deep down you love them and you have the feeling of belongness with them.
I don't have anybody that I can be connected...sure some people here are treating me specially... simply I can speak English...so they are respecting me.... here being able to speak English is a very big deal!
Cheer up... you are in your own area...you have the youth-nobody can't steal it from you or buy it from you!!!
Spend your time with studying-anything that you are into... and be somebody so that you can give out your adivice to suffering youth in the future.
I am not somebody... I am the one who is really desperate...but you have so many better things than I have.

 

[SighX99]

I live in a shallow place as well. where everyone has to be somebody perfect. around where I live, you are normal if you are good looking, have a gf/bf, going to school or working...people dont talk to you if you don't talk about school or work.

I do hate myself. in a way. i hate how i shouldn't have been so passive to let people walk all over me. I should've been more selfish. i've helped many people to get back on their feet, in the end, i get stabbed in the back. I help out my parents with some chores, and they turn around and search my fuckin room and asking me what this is what that is...then i get pissed off, ending up almost hitting them... and who caused it? my parents feel justified, and they are the most condescending and stubborn people you will ever meet. i hate asian parents. i deal with them on a daily basis.
with me having good intentions. i swallow my personal pride for my parents, in the end, i don't get anything but distrust. same honeysuckle applies to my friends.
this is why i brought up the whole " kids in africa " in my post, everyone has their own problems to deal with, whether is loneliness, hunger, hatred for family, freedom (or lack of)... we are all on the same level here. no one has it better.

some might whine and cry about their gf/bf, well, i never really had a girlfriend, so i cant even begin to cry and feel depressed. which is really fuckin pathetic.


i just feel like my situation is really shitty, i'm sure some of you also feel like your life sucks. we are all on the same level here, I don't have it better than you, you dont have it better than me neither.

 

[Splenda-Kills]

we are all on the same level here, I don't have it better than you, you dont have it better than me neither.

I'll have to agree and disagree with you there. Yes, we are all on the same level as people. We are all here with a lesson to learn and a price to pay. If that weren't true, we wouldn't be here in the first place. However, some lessons may be harsher than others, and some lessons are less harsh, depending on which lesson you have to learn, yet, we are all the same on the point that each of us feels as if our life is bad or worse than everyone else's. There is a handful of people in the world who actually realize that others have it worse, and who actually come back to that thought while they're down in the dumps.
Speaking on the woman you are replying to, she is hungry, alone, and jaded because she must be a brilliant woman and yet her job cut her loose because of her AGE. In America, that's not even legal. And it must deal a great punch to the face to feel like you're worthless once you reach a certain age. You may say that you live in a place where it's completely superficial, now I don't know where you live, but in many places in Asia, people don't just "stop talking to you", they ridicule you to no end just because you're out of a job. Those who don't have jobs or families or nothing of "merit" don't band together to help dig each other out of the ditch, instead, they have to seclude themselves for the simple fact that if they come out, they will, under no uncertain terms, be actively made fun of...right in front of their faces. I have not experienced this first-hand, however I know a man who has, who lived in Taiwan.
You, too, don't have it so great. You live in a place where people also judge you, isolate you, and make you feel inferior if you're neither doing well in school nor working. You have friends and people around you, but the majority are not who you thought they were at the time you befriended them. You say nothing is ever new, but you, being young I presume, have the ability to turn that around.
Everyone has the ability to turn their life around, even if they're 40 and living in Asia, as long as they have the breath of life in them. Even the woman you were replying to does, although, sadly, she doesn't have as much time as you do (when you take homicides, illness, accidents, and the X-factor out of the picture). Now, I will not sugarcoat this and say you can turn things around: ALL YOU NEED IS WILL, STRENGTH, WORK, LOVE, DREAMS, ETC. ETC.
The world does not work that way. You can put all the strength and time you have in trying to turn things around, only to fall flat on your ass. It takes timing, the work of others, your luck, the universe, and everything in between--things you cannot control. There are a great deal of people who fall flat on their asses. All they can do is keep trying until they hit the lotto with luck or learn their lesson. That's right, life is so cruel. But over 6 billion people have to deal with the same cruel life. In that sense, you are not alone at all, and you should feel slightly relieved knowing that anyone you go up and talk to will have problems of their own, a lesson to learn, and the need to at least try to dig themselves out. As long as you are living, you are at least trying at the minimum pace. But life requires you to kick it up a notch.
I am not one to talk, I am on the verge of giving up and have been since a long time ago. I am not saying that everyone will persevere, I'm not saying that I will either. Perhaps I'll just go on living at the minimum. Perhaps I won't. I don't know what's in store for me.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, it does NOT matter. Yes, we are all the same. Yes, we all have different levels of problems. Yes, all of us have it both much better and much worse than others. However, their problems are THEIR problems and yours are YOURS, even if your only problem is not being able to get gum off your shoe, you are not responsible for the homeless old man standing next to where the gum was. It may seem like a cruel way to think of things, but it's true. It's the reason why I didn't get into comparing you with my own issues. My problems are not yours and you have nothing to do with them and vice versa. Everyone has problems because of their own faults. Even what you're going through is, somehow, your fault. You can't wallow in self pity, you must find out what it is about you that is bad, fix it, and your life will suck less. Keep finding things about you that should be fixed, and FIX THEM. Sooner or later, you will learn your lesson and have all the friends, relationships, and good luck you've ever wanted. Even if you don't get it right in this lifetime, you may get it right in the next.

Bear this in mind and you may one day become happier. If you don't bear this in mind, well, that's not my business.

** To add on to an already long piece of advice, I want to say that just because your problems are your own doesn't mean you can't reach out for help. Just like now, I'm giving you the best advice I can because you were brave enough to post your problems and insecurities here. Just know that with each person who takes it upon themselves to help you out, even a little, you are luckier than those who don't even recieve help. You should feel grateful. The whole meaning of life on Earth is to solve your own problems and learn to have the generosity to help others with theirs, even if they have absolutely nothing to do with you. If everyone helps another, then everyone will recieve help.

 

[Depressedology]

I like you a lot. ****, it's like looking myself in the mirror!
For some reason, though u're talking about the sh*t you see in this blog, but I felt not alone while reading.
chin up, best wishes... add me in msn or twitter if you wanted - best of luck take care

 

[Badjedidude]

JHC. This entire thread is like one giant block of text. @_@ lol

I hope things go better for ya, SighX99.

 

[shells]

This thread is sort of old, and the OP may not even read this. Oh well.

To the OP,

I hope that you'll be able to mend bonds with your parents someday. If not, then perhaps you can at least take the time to understand them and help them to understand you a little more.

If you are that serious to get out of the situation you are in right now - then do it. Depending upon where you live and your age, it's possible to emancipate yourself, earn your own living by working, and do everything yourself that you hate your parents for doing for you over the years.

you might say, hey think about kids in africa, well i dont give a fresia. those african kids probably had more sex, more freedom, more friends to depend their lives on, than i do.

You don't have to care about them. However, you have no right to assume things about their lives, especially if you don't want people judging and dissecting yours.

i envy people with single parent or foster homes.... thats how bad i hate my life.

Coming from someone who grew up in a single parent home, then found that same parent dead on Thanksgiving morning at the age of 16? Yeah, that's totally something to be envious about.

this is why i brought up the whole " kids in africa " in my post, everyone has their own problems to deal with, whether is loneliness, hunger, hatred for family, freedom (or lack of)... we are all on the same level here. no one has it better.

I agree and disagree.

I agree that everyone has their own battles to face, but I also believe that no two battles can be comparable - they are unique to each individual that experiences them.

Therefore, I strongly disagree that everyone is on the same level. You can't put a face value on experiences without having gone through them yourself. And even then, no two people will experience and grow from those situations the same.

 

[Rammy]

I don't want to sound insensitive to the original poster, I truly believe he is upset but to claim he has it worse than anyone when his post identifys several luxuries, and a somewhat normal lifestyle, is a little insulting. I hope he is feeling a little better now and is perhaps a little wiser (he sounds young, and we all know what it can be like as a teen)If you read this just remember you are not alone

 

[Mysis]

this is the saddest christmas i've ever had...

imma go cry now

I dunno... I think whatever he was so upset about, he's probably had time to work it out by now... I think we can stop reviving this 5 month old thread... What do you think invisible talking spoon?

...

,,,

*nod* That's right. And a very horse he was.