Good enough to f*** but not enough to date...I should just sell my virginity...

[AFrozenSoul]

Anywhere I go with depressed people I find a thread like this one. ~angry face~ it generally pisses me off. Then again, I guess I have the opposite problem any female would friend zone me because I am such a good guy. I am a keeper not a lover so They would make me their buddy. This thread is not about me... I won't cause trouble.

I wish I could help you Luna. However, I cannot help. Men are horney that is just the way we are. Personally I am looking for a girl who will love me and screw me non-stop. I Personally do not understand the obsession most men have with banging as many women as they can. I wish I could have one partner for the rest of my life who would fresia my brains out as often as she could. I don't know where I am going with this... so I will stop.

Do you make your want obvious? I am a shy guy, I cannot tell when a girl is interested or just being friendly or hell rejects me. Do you make obvious gestures or are you like a normal girl do you make subtle hints? You say you nurse them back to health. Do you ever try and find a guy who is already healthy?

As for your virginity we all take a chance that the first time will be special or wasted. If you are not willing to take the chance that it will Only be meaningful to you then please sell it. Part of love is taking that risk to be hurt.

One final thing, isn't it funny who each gender homes what the other gender wants? Women hold the power to give out sex and MN hold the power to give commitment. Just a funny little thing I discussed with someone on another forum.

 

[Boss Jr.]

It's up to you whatever you decide to do, but know this. Never do anything out of bitterness or hate or even frustration. It clouds your judgement and the next time you get a chance to take a step back and really look at what you did there's always the overwhelming feeling of "WTF did I just do?". You will regret it.

This is something that you obviously want to be special so don't let anyone pressure you into it and do it when you're ready. Chances are you won't be spending the rest of your life with the first person you sleep with but it shouldn't be an experience that you look back on with regret either. It should still be a fond memory.

 

[carabelle]

MY DESPAIR IS NOW TURNING INTO RAGE!!!

1. Good enough to f*** but not enough to date

I don't know how the other females do it - but many of them have men interested in getting to know them; care for them; heart-broken over them etc.
Why the fresia is it that every man I have met - I get the instant Friends-with-benefits-zoned?
I would love to be friend-zoned!
I'd like friends!
If you want a booty-call, find a ******* girl that is looking for the same.
Why the fresia bother me and try to change my mind?
Why the fresia take the time and effort to PRETEND that you want more with me, when you don't?
I let everyone KNOW that I am not into flings, but I am not asking for instant marriage either.
I do not dress sexual or act sexual - I reek of this "good-girl" persona and have been compared to angels on numerous occasions (ahahah).

It's not as if I go to meat markets like bars; that, or "hook-up" with just anyone. I prefer the shy, quiet, book-loving, "good boys" that often are unnoticed by the general female population.
I adore sweet and dependable.
BUT I BRING OUT THE "I WANT TO fresia-AND-CHUCK YOU" BEAST IN THEM!
And after refusing and going our separate ways; they then spend their time crying over the ***** who broke their heart.

Refer to my (old) thread here:
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=9223

Such said "nice guys"; I boost their egos by constantly reassuring them and giving them compliments.
When I've nursed them back to health - they then fly away.
I'm not giving out compliments anymore and feeding into any shy guy's self-esteem issues.
It's like I'm just practice for the person that they truly want.
fresia THEM.
I hate to be like this...
So full of anger...
But I am ******* wanting to just slap every guy rightaboutnow!
(I hate women too)

fresia THEM AND WHY ME???

2. I should just sell my virginity (So...any...uh...takers?)

I read an article on how a chick managed to bring in $50,000 and got to travel to Italy, stay in a luxury hotel and wined and dined.
I figure, hey! Why not?
Beats giving it up to some idiot college student with debt to hell and just wants a fresia-and-chuck with no benefits to me.

It's crossed my mind several times - if I enter into it as a business transaction; it'd be better than me "sharing" myself with someone only to never hear from them the day after.
Ya know...with me constantly being Friends-with-benefits-zoned right from the start.
(I'm not even sexy)

I think as long as it were legit and safe...I would do it.
It's not as if I am waiting for a soul-mate or anything of the sort.
I only want to be intimate with someone who sincerely cares about me.
But I don't think that time will ever come, no matter how hard I delude myself.

I wonder how much I could hit up, honestly.

I've seriously thought about it, too. Never wanted to admit it though. I relate to everything you've said about the virginity-selling situation.

The other stuff you've said..I relate to some of it. Guys also only seem to think of me in that way. And y'know what? I used to be that girl. The one who guys care about and want to get to know, the one who leaves guys heartbroken. But I'm not anymore. I really am not sure why. I can't ever imagine anyone thinking of me in that way anymore..I find it hard to believe that anyone ever did. It's a strange concept, feels so removed from now.

Sometimes I try to work out what was different about me then. I was more naive. I hadn't been hurt and betrayed half as much as I have now. I was less lonely. I didn't put up an act. I was just myself. I was more open to letting people in. I was more willing to try when it came to relationships.

It's hard to know whether a lot of that is cause or effect. I guess the difference is that then I was just myself and I was open to love, now I put on a front and I shut people out.

I don't really know why guys view you in this way...it's different for everyone. Maybe if you try to get to know people? Just be yourself..I really don't know. I'm not much help here, am I? Just know I understand what it's like.

 

[Sterling]

MY DESPAIR IS NOW TURNING INTO RAGE!!!

1. Good enough to f*** but not enough to date

I don't know how the other females do it - but many of them have men interested in getting to know them; care for them; heart-broken over them etc.
Why the fresia is it that every man I have met - I get the instant Friends-with-benefits-zoned?
I would love to be friend-zoned!
I'd like friends!
If you want a booty-call, find a ******* girl that is looking for the same.
Why the fresia bother me and try to change my mind?
Why the fresia take the time and effort to PRETEND that you want more with me, when you don't?
I let everyone KNOW that I am not into flings, but I am not asking for instant marriage either.
I do not dress sexual or act sexual - I reek of this "good-girl" persona and have been compared to angels on numerous occasions (ahahah).

It's not as if I go to meat markets like bars; that, or "hook-up" with just anyone. I prefer the shy, quiet, book-loving, "good boys" that often are unnoticed by the general female population.
I adore sweet and dependable.
BUT I BRING OUT THE "I WANT TO fresia-AND-CHUCK YOU" BEAST IN THEM!
And after refusing and going our separate ways; they then spend their time crying over the ***** who broke their heart.

Refer to my (old) thread here:
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=9223

Such said "nice guys"; I boost their egos by constantly reassuring them and giving them compliments.
When I've nursed them back to health - they then fly away.
I'm not giving out compliments anymore and feeding into any shy guy's self-esteem issues.
It's like I'm just practice for the person that they truly want.
fresia THEM.
I hate to be like this...
So full of anger...
But I am ******* wanting to just slap every guy rightaboutnow!
(I hate women too)

fresia THEM AND WHY ME???

2. I should just sell my virginity (So...any...uh...takers?)

I read an article on how a chick managed to bring in $50,000 and got to travel to Italy, stay in a luxury hotel and wined and dined.
I figure, hey! Why not?
Beats giving it up to some idiot college student with debt to hell and just wants a fresia-and-chuck with no benefits to me.

It's crossed my mind several times - if I enter into it as a business transaction; it'd be better than me "sharing" myself with someone only to never hear from them the day after.
Ya know...with me constantly being Friends-with-benefits-zoned right from the start.
(I'm not even sexy)

I think as long as it were legit and safe...I would do it.
It's not as if I am waiting for a soul-mate or anything of the sort.
I only want to be intimate with someone who sincerely cares about me.
But I don't think that time will ever come, no matter how hard I delude myself.

I wonder how much I could hit up, honestly.

Well basically, most men (maybe not most, but a lot) look at women for one thing. They'll do the flirting and the "I love yous", but do they actually mean it? I get where you're coming from, "rather be paid handsomely for it than give it up to some horny dude for free". Hey who knows the payer might be your soul mate. Wouldn't that be a Cinderella story haha.
It does suck when you're sincerely nice to people and all you get is people that want to take advantage of it, but would you feel bad if you did your selling the virginity type of thing, then met the man of your dreams? Just a thought.

 

[Remedy]

I know that it is hard to find the right guys and that so many guys can be so extremely deceiving. This world just seems to get worse and worse day by day. The so called fake "nice guys" that you are running too weren't nice like you said. There are kind, genuine, loving, and caring guys out there. We really are out there and why I say "we" is because I know that I am one.

I'm sorry that you are actually trying to give the shy, quiet, and reserved guys a chance. Then they end up being just like every other guy out in this world. It really is a hit and miss situation but you just have to keep trying. You are looking through the crowd of guys that are quiet and you are most likely to find what you are looking for, if you keep at it. The shy and quiet guys can be really deceiving like all guys can be. I'd still try to talk to the guys that are being overlooked because it is probably your best bet, even if you ran into ones that turned out to be stupid.

I was one of those guys that was constantly overlooked everyday of my life but I guess that was because I lacked confidence. I was one of those shy and quiet guys. I never received any attention. It was for my own good though because it made me so ready for the person I have met. She is the only person that I want to give my love and body to. Everything I have to give is for her and only her. I know that I am a loving and caring guy. No one can ever say otherwise because I know deep down in my heart that I am. We are out there and you just have to keep looking.

I am a guy and this is how I think. My love is for one woman and one woman only. Every loving moment I ever want to give is for her and her only. Love is suppose to be a mutual bond. To me, when 2 people fall in love with each other, it should feel like that love is forever. They should believe it and have such a mutual love for each other.

It really does seem like the amount of people who believe in love and being with one person has decreased immensely. Everyone tends to believe in this "F em and chuck em" like you said, nowadays. Or the whole "friends with benefits" thing. Us guys who believe in this really are out there, don't ever give up if you really want to find love. I felt the same way, like I wasn't going to meet any girls who thought like me. I know/feel like I have met the most amazing girl on the planet. I can't stress it enough, there really are people(in general) who think like this. It's really difficult but keep it up. I wish you luck, please don't ever change because of how people are. There aren't enough people who think like this out there anymore. You would just be adding to the same downward spiral that is this moraless world.

 

[Intranetusa]

You have two end of the extremes.

On one end of the extreme, you have player-type guys who just wants to bang girls.

#1 is your standard player hookup type of guy

On the other end of the extreme, you have the pseudo "nice guys." They are actually just also guys who want to bang girls, but can't due to their looks or personality. These guys are NOT nice guys, they just seem like nice guys but they're "wanna-be players" who can't get girls.

#2 is basically the repressed bookish guy who wants to be the #1 type (a player) and isn't an actual nice guy


So I suggest you make more friends, and don't fall for fake pseudo-nice guys.

 

[upanddownlikeayoyo]

Luna

Their are millions of guys out there who would love you the way you are. I'd love to meet a girl with your big heart and friendly caring disposition. Unfortunately I have the same problem as you, only with girls.

All of us guys are not after one thing only. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but i'd prefer that with a girl somewhere down the line after getting to know her and loving being with her.

Don't change who you are.........ever. When you meet the right person, you'll appreciate you didn't change.

 

[Limlim]

guys... the last post on this was over a half a year ago, lol.

 

[anneisanne]

I've been stuck in the same revolving door like this for the last 15 years.

I haven't figured it out, either.

A-M