good forum to find... and hello ;P

[ahaikulife]

Hi there,

This forum looks like a place for me... although I have often found myself alone, and along with that, yes, lonely, I have recently been in an extremely difficult situation which brought me here via surfing the web for answers to what has become my pain in the ass life... everything has fallen apart completely, and I just can't find people who will actually talk to me, but just spew the same old bullshit cliche's about "problems" and difficulty's in life... okay, I may be rambling on a little abstractedly.... lol... I think that part of the reason I frequently feel lonely is because so many people are just, idk, afraid to speak how they truely feel? It turns people off when I do that, as I often do.... and I just don't ever feel like I fit in with any "group" of people. I thought I finally had somebody, but then, she left me, and it turns out, she was just the same as the rest..she kept her true feelings and thoughts bottled up... until after she left me, when she then released her venom onto my world. So, what is up with people like that? why do people not reveal what they truely think? ... idk if this is making any sense at all...

anyhow, just wanted to say hello, and I'll post some stuff on a different discussion section of the forums...

-Mike

 

[Sci-Fi]

Welcome to forum

 

[Callie]

Hi Mike, welcome to ALL

 

[MadMonkè]

Mike hey welcome buddy.
idk how old you are... but i get a lot more fakeness from kids than when I was a kid... maybe Im just sleep talking again.. but stay genuine. it will make the journey more enjoyable

 

[fox]

Welcome, Mike

 

[Barbaloot]

Welcome.

 

[Grey]

Hello i find that people keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves because they think other people will judge them for it, society wants people who smile everyday and don't think bad things but people aren't like that hope i'm making sense and not just rambling on.

 

[Jilted John]

Hi and welcome Mike.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Welcome to the forum, Mike.

I thought I finally had somebody, but then, she left me, and it turns out, she was just the same as the rest..she kept her true feelings and thoughts bottled up... until after she left me, when she then released her venom onto my world. So, what is up with people like that? why do people not reveal what they truely think?

When I was the person to keep my true feelings from my ex, it was mainly because I didn't want to stir up more issues as there were already so many to deal with. Also, he could not appreciate me the way I was and expected me to be in a different way, the way he would perceive as right and good enough. Hence, I bottle my true feelings up to keep him happy and tried to be what he wanted me to be - which of course was not my true self.

I tried to tell him who and how I really am, but he didn't seem to think that I was any good being myself. I wasn't good enough.

That is.. what is up with me being that way. There's always a reason for every behaviour. Did you ask that girl why she was like that with you?

 

[ahaikulife]

[/quote]
Did you ask that girl why she was like that with you?
[/quote]

she is not refusing to speak with me, and will not tell me anything, will not explain anything at all... It's been a few months now... I am just trying to not think about it...or talk about it... I should stop mentioning her in my posts and just force myself through thinking of it. It's hard when you dont' have a job though, so much free time for my mind to go that route.

Thank you for your response.

-Mike

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm really sorry. It must be hard to have to move on without any form of closure or real understanding as to why someone you thought you knew behaved a certain way. I guess I can kind of understand where you're coming from. My ex would probably say the same thing about me the way you talk about her, but I did try to explain why. He had a hard time taking it though.

Yes, I think it's time you move on. Try to occupy your time with other things you can do, hobbies, new interests, volunteer work or anything that makes you feel good about yourself. Do those things more often as you said you have a lot of free time. They help you heal and move forward. It's what I've been doing for myself.

Are you planning on looking for a job?

 

[ahaikulife]

I'm really sorry. It must be hard to have to move on without any form of closure or real understanding as to why someone you thought you knew behaved a certain way. I guess I can kind of understand where you're coming from. My ex would probably say the same thing about me the way you talk about her, but I did try to explain why. He had a hard time taking it though.

Yes, I think it's time you move on. Try to occupy your time with other things you can do, hobbies, new interests, volunteer work or anything that makes you feel good about yourself. Do those things more often as you said you have a lot of free time. They help you heal and move forward. It's what I've been doing for myself.

Are you planning on looking for a job?

Yes, I know you are right... it is time to move on. I'm trying my best to do that.

Yes, I have been looking for jobs, but its complicated/difficult. I've been putting off a volunteer application for the library... I'll do that as soon as I'm finished with this, so that I can bring it with me next time I go into town.

One big thing that I began doing, last night, was writing out a long-term goal/plan... I've never "really" done this before. I mean, I have in my head, but this one is nice, in depth, covering all aspects of my life...from the standard financial/job/career, to family, attitudes, outlook... I've started it as a 20 year plan, down to 10,5, etc... it really helped me to see, that I have alot of life ahead of me yet to live for, and am trying my best to look ahead, instead of the past...its always easier said than done though lol. It has really helped me to begin focusing myself...-

thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, I really appreciate it.

-Mike

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey Mike, it's no problem at all. I just find some part of your story that I can relate to. Glad to see you getting started on some of the things you mentioned above! Starting out with a goal in mind is good. It always helps you to keep focus and on track cos every time you feel like you're falling behind or getting side-tracked, you can re-think of what your goal is and then pull yourself back on track.

It does take a lot of self-discipline. I mean, doing this will also hone your self-discipline skills. So you're hitting many birds with one stone here.

You do have a lot of life to live ahead. Life is always unpredictable but we can always hope for the best and try to be positive about it. They say that we should make the best out of our lives and in order to do that, we need to start with our own mindsets. There's a lot more to life than just being alone or depressed. Sometimes when you see others in a much worse situation than yourself, you kind of realise how lucky you actually are. That's why volunteer work is always suggested to those who'd like to feel better and do good things. It will open up their eyes to so many other disadvantages of life that you wished would have never existed.

Things will get better for you. Of course it's impossible for anyone to promise you that. But they say, you make your own bed. So if you want something out of your life, you gotta work for it. Nothing comes easy. For some, it's even much harder. This, I don't know why yet. I always ask myself why sometimes I tend to go through stuff with higher difficulty levels as compared to those around me...and I till now I still can't understand why. *shrugs*

Keep on looking ahead. I wish you all the best on your long-term goals and plans. It's one thing to plan, it's actually another to execute them. So go make sure they happen! And who knows what life will bring you in the future.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You know when people don't say how they really feel I think its actually indicative that they care how you feel. If they really wanted to eviserate you, they'd tell you all the horrible things in their head. They'd be utterly pitiliess and unconcerned about whether or not it would devestate you.