My first post on this blog, so bear with me.
I moved to New York City 3 years ago in order to be with my girlfriend.
She was the love of my life, I've never felt a connection with another human being ever in my life; it was rapture, heaven, I was a drop falling into the ocean. It all felt right for the first time in my life.
We broke up. She grew up, moved on, and forgot about me.
Now, I'm a severe pothead, alcoholic, and loner who has drifted through several groups of friends throughout college and has been betrayed and backstabbed by many girlfriends in the course. Acclamating to NYC isn't easy either. I feel like anything is better than this. I live alone in the East Village, unemployed, and hating myself.
My ex recently emerged back into my life insisting on seeing me, although I demurred telling her it wasn't a good idea (even though every impulse inside of me wanted to see her again, I was still in love despite 2 years of radio silence).
She tried to sleep with me, I again demurred saying I wasn't the type of person who does that, and now I've been drunk/stoned ever since, confused and hating myself. I don't know what to do.
I'm alone, shy, and drinking a 5th of Stolichnaya from 10am on. I feel so stuck and scared. I want to be a musician, but I'm so inhibited by my shyness.
I don't know what she meant by her random visit or what I should do with my life.
I'm sorry if this all seems vague/typical, by I have no one to cry to, and nowhere to call home.
I moved to New York City 3 years ago in order to be with my girlfriend.
She was the love of my life, I've never felt a connection with another human being ever in my life; it was rapture, heaven, I was a drop falling into the ocean. It all felt right for the first time in my life.
We broke up. She grew up, moved on, and forgot about me.
Now, I'm a severe pothead, alcoholic, and loner who has drifted through several groups of friends throughout college and has been betrayed and backstabbed by many girlfriends in the course. Acclamating to NYC isn't easy either. I feel like anything is better than this. I live alone in the East Village, unemployed, and hating myself.
My ex recently emerged back into my life insisting on seeing me, although I demurred telling her it wasn't a good idea (even though every impulse inside of me wanted to see her again, I was still in love despite 2 years of radio silence).
She tried to sleep with me, I again demurred saying I wasn't the type of person who does that, and now I've been drunk/stoned ever since, confused and hating myself. I don't know what to do.
I'm alone, shy, and drinking a 5th of Stolichnaya from 10am on. I feel so stuck and scared. I want to be a musician, but I'm so inhibited by my shyness.
I don't know what she meant by her random visit or what I should do with my life.
I'm sorry if this all seems vague/typical, by I have no one to cry to, and nowhere to call home.