Greetings

[Marnnson]

I guess this is a good place to start as any.

Hi! My name's Andrei (which is Romanian for Andrew), I'm a 23 year old guy living in my hometown of Constanta (which is a small city by the Black Sea).

This feels a bit awkward. I guess I joined these forums since I'm trying to fix my blatant inability to talk to people and to find a cure to my loneliness. I'm a computer science university graduate , with a job I somehow landed thanks to an acquaintance I made during university. My interests tend to be fairly varied, I enjoy learning more and reading about.. well... just about everything really, from martial arts, literature, philosophy, history, music, movies, technology, places to travel, anything as long as it's interesting and worth reading.

Thing is, because I'm inept at talking to people, I've kind of fallen into a routine of waking up - going to work - coming back - reading a bit then going to sleep, without much else going on in between. I'd like to be able to break that routine by learning to talk to people and getting over my crippling fear of socializing, particularly with girls. (Yes, yes, I'm the extremely shy guy who can't talk to anybody, girls included; my tongue ties up and I get that sinking feeling in my stomach that I'll make a fool of myself). Maybe I can start here.

Oh, forgot. Since I'm a comp-sci graduate, of course that would mean I enjoy a good video game, but I also have a dog which takes me away from the computer; I find it refreshing to walk him since it clears my mind from the clutter of work-life.

Sorry if I've been a bit too honest! And I'm hoping I can talk to as many new people here.

Andrei

 

[Sci-Fi]

Hi welcome to the site. Overcoming shyness can be really easy but really hard to do. Just work at it, start with small conversations with people and gradually broaden them. Do you chat with people at work? That can help too.

 

[Marnnson]

This will seem extremely stupid but I can't even chat to my co-workers, even if I know I should be able to due to quite a few interests in common. I just feel extremely awkward when I try to strike up a conversation; I feel like either

A. Everything I say doesn't seem to elicit any kind of response from them, or comes out as completely awkward and weird. Mostly when I try to ask them about themselves, to "get to know them better".

B. When there's a bigger group of people, that usually spells my social death. I tend to close up and keep quiet because I feel that anything I say won't be something super smart / funny / interesting. That, and I tend to be soft-spoken. I don't like to raise the tone of my voice to get my point across.

I'm trying at the moment to rekindle my interests though and find out new subjects to talk about.

Thanks for the answer!

 

[Polar]

Hi there Andrei. You sound like an intelligent guy. With all that literature of yours, you surely must have a lot of interesting anecdotes to tie into a conversation. Try not to worry too much about making a fool of yourself. I'm a very quiet guy who has trouble keeping up conversation for extended periods of time myself, but in my experience the quality of the conversation material doesn't need to be too high to keep people interested for at least a while

Welcome to the forums!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Okay, you have nothing to worry about. Just in these few posts you come off as very intelligent and articulate. You have vast knowledge or topics and plenty to talk about. I know how you feel though, I'm the same way, especially in large groups. Once you get involved though that all goes away. Heck sometimes it's fun to make a fool of yourself, breaks the ice and gives people a laugh, as long as you don't get so nervous you pee yourself that is.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Welcome Andrei, I hope you'll enjoy your stay

 

[Marnnson]

Heh, thanks for the warm welcome guys. I'll try my best to fit in

@Polar: That's the thing. I can hold a conversation for a while if the subject's already been "decided", but I'm inept at coming up with new ones. I guess since I've been isolated most of my life I'm terribad at finding common grounds to talk about.

@Peter Lorre: *thumbs up* For your username. Amazing actor!

@Sci-Fi:

Heck sometimes it's fun to make a fool of yourself, breaks the ice and gives people a laugh, as long as you don't get so nervous you pee yourself that is.

True, true !

 

[swanlake]

Hi Marnson you sound like an intelligent well rounded individual. Getting over shyness can be tough try to take baby steps.

 

[WishingWell]

Hi Marnnson! Welcome to the Forum! There are many people here that I am confident relate to your issues. You took a first step and introduced yourself and told us some things about you! Bravo! As time goes on, and you read Threads you are interested in and post comments, you may find someone you may want to Private Message with and maybe become closer to. All of us are here because we are lonely in some way. I believe you will read that over and over as the days go by!

Best wishes to you, and be grateful for your dog...I wish I had a dog to keep me company!

 

[Marnnson]

@Swanlake: Thank you I'm trying, but I'm anything but well-rounded, haha, like most programmers (I hope) I'm severely lazy. How did you get over your shyness?

@WishingWell: The puppy wasn't exactly planned, which is more extraordinary to be fair, we pretty much found him abandoned in front of our construction site for our new house. It was an all-around decision to keep him... and we haven't regretted it ever since. Might post some pictures of him, he's a happy little chap.

And hehe, I gathered that most of the members here felt that way... otherwise there wouldn't be much reason to join a community called "A lonely life" if you weren't lonely! I don't have any plan just yet but I'm probably just going to talk to as many people as I can.


Thanks everyone for the warm welcome

 

[swanlake]

Marnson, I'm not a shy person I'm a lonely person I have no definitive answers for you to overcome your shyness.

Maybe you could walk your dog in park where there are other dog walkers and start a discussion you would have something in common.

 

[Marnnson]

Aye, I've been doing that for the past year or so, and it works Just for some reason find it hard to talk to people, to try to get some information out of them pertaining their interests, their stories, etc. I just awkwardly end up sounding like an interrogator and making myself look socially clumsy despite my good intent. I'm good once I get past the little pleasantries, once I manage to know the person a little more... just that first interaction is what eludes me