Haz
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2009
- Messages
- 415
- Reaction score
- 0
until I got into a minor argument at work 
how can I not take things so deeply to heart that they keep me up all night feeling angry? I literally felt the whole temple I had built up around me come crashing around, I was on fire but the next minute it was a struggle. I don't like inconsiderate people, the thing is it just feels like it exposed a lot of insecurities in me when I was feeling at my strongest. I always apologise if i've done any wrong, but when other people don't return the favour it just makes me want to kill. the worst thing is the girl I had an argument with seems to do this passive aggressive thing of being really happy and joking around with everyone else in front of me to try and make me feel bad, but when I try to address her she ignores me. everyone was going to some party after work except me, I wasn't invited. she kept talking about it and it started to aggravate me, mainly because of the hostility I was feeling towards her. But it is more my deeper social problems I am still working on that had me feeling that way.
it just gets me think that i'll always be a sad heart trying his hardest to deal with depression but the inability of me to form a meaningful connection with anyone leads to me feeling angry and bitter on the inside. I just want to work hard and be happy, but this depression never leaves me. I can get things under control and find happiness but as soon as emotions start to fly, I cannot control them.
how can I not take things so deeply to heart that they keep me up all night feeling angry? I literally felt the whole temple I had built up around me come crashing around, I was on fire but the next minute it was a struggle. I don't like inconsiderate people, the thing is it just feels like it exposed a lot of insecurities in me when I was feeling at my strongest. I always apologise if i've done any wrong, but when other people don't return the favour it just makes me want to kill. the worst thing is the girl I had an argument with seems to do this passive aggressive thing of being really happy and joking around with everyone else in front of me to try and make me feel bad, but when I try to address her she ignores me. everyone was going to some party after work except me, I wasn't invited. she kept talking about it and it started to aggravate me, mainly because of the hostility I was feeling towards her. But it is more my deeper social problems I am still working on that had me feeling that way.
it just gets me think that i'll always be a sad heart trying his hardest to deal with depression but the inability of me to form a meaningful connection with anyone leads to me feeling angry and bitter on the inside. I just want to work hard and be happy, but this depression never leaves me. I can get things under control and find happiness but as soon as emotions start to fly, I cannot control them.
