Has anyone ever had bullies at work?

[ardour]

No-one would expect someone to be sympathetic in a situation like that. You could understand not caring the least bit if it were him who was ill... even wishing harm on him. Hoping his spouse dies painfully on the other hand (another human being who wasn't involved, bizarre that the distinction even needs to be spelt out here) just to get satisfaction from the pain it would cause indicates extreme vindictiveness and a general lack of empathy, characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. That along with excessive self-regard, which can be seen from the forum member's previous posts imo...

 

[LonelySutton]

No-one would expect someone to be sympathetic in a situation like that. You could understand not caring the least bit if it were him who was ill... even wishing harm on him. Hoping his spouse dies painfully on the other hand (another human being who wasn't involved, bizarre that the distinction even needs to be spelt out here) just to get satisfaction from the pain it would cause indicates extreme vindictiveness and a general lack of empathy, characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. That along with excessive  self-regard, which can be seen from the forum member's previous posts imo...

Thank you Dr. Ardour... 

Now go back to your hole.

 

[Sci-Fi]

No-one would expect someone to be sympathetic in a situation like that. You could understand not caring the least bit if it were him who was ill... even wishing harm on him. Hoping his spouse dies painfully on the other hand (another human being who wasn't involved, bizarre that the distinction even needs to be spelt out here) just to get satisfaction from the pain it would cause indicates extreme vindictiveness and a general lack of empathy, characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. That along with excessive  self-regard, which can be seen from the forum member's previous posts imo...

Thank you Dr. Ardour... 

Now go back to your hole.

I'm sorry but this is not appropriate whether you like their opinion or not. You said yourself your thoughts were evil and I've read your post and the follow ones where this all comes from. Personally I had a boss who is a vile despicable human being and if someone told me he died I wouldn't shed a single tear and I might dance on his grave. That is just how much I hate that man for what he put me and others through. When someone disregards human life the way he did I don't care a dime about them. But never, never would I ever think or utter what you did. If I heard his wife or children were ill I'd feel bad for them and would never hope they die a painful death. I wouldn't have even thought that back when I worked for him. His wife and brother-in-law (who was also his business partner and my boss too) turned a blind eye to the things he did and new what kind of man he was but that did not mean I was going to reflect that dislike onto them or anyone else. They could have done something if they wanted to but in a way they were victims too.

 

[LonelySutton]

I'm sorry but this is not appropriate whether you like their opinion or not.  

He said he looked up my posting history and that I suffered from excessive regard. That is called an "insult".  That is an unprovoked "attack" and he should go back to his hole and stop popping out to take cheap shots.  

When you respond to someone who attacks you first that is called "self defense".

 

[TheRealCallie]

I agree with Ardour. Personally, I don't and wouldn't wish ANYONE dead, certainly not someone who has nothing to do with it. That's just wrong on so many levels.

 

[Northern Lights]

I understand that some of you disagree with what LSutton said and she has admitted that she knows it's evil. But those are her thoughts and there's no point to attack her character.

Everyone reacts differently to bullying. Many of school shooters were bullied; whereas others instead dedicate themselves to volunteering and positive campaigns. Everyone is different and although what LSutton thought may be evil; she's for the most part, keeping it to herself and not harming society. We can't control what thoughts pop up in our mind but we can control our actions. It's not like she's going out of her way to actively hurt her bully or the bully's family. It was just a thought - an unkind thought. It is the people whose actions that are hurting others and society who should carry the scrutiny and focus.

 

[constant stranger]

I think LonelySutton is entitled to voice her opinion, mordant though it is. The object of the death wish is remote from this forum and it's not a threat, only a wish for grievous misfortune. The sentiment does probe the limits of civility but still occupies a zone sanctioned by the rights of free speech. OK that's just my opinion.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I understand that some of you disagree with what LSutton said and she has admitted that she knows it's evil. But those are her thoughts and there's no point to attack her character.

Everyone reacts differently to bullying. Many of school shooters were bullied; whereas others instead dedicate themselves to volunteering and positive campaigns. Everyone is different and although what LSutton thought may be evil; she's for the most part, keeping it to herself and not harming society. We can't control what thoughts pop up in our mind but we can control our actions. It's not like she's going out of her way to actively hurt her bully or the bully's family. It was just a thought - an unkind thought. It is the people whose actions that are hurting others and society who should carry the scrutiny and focus.

I agree with Ardour and Callie. Completely. 
"It's not like she's going it of her way to actively hurt her bully.."
What if what she said got back to her bully? Not that I'm blaming anyone who is bullied for wanting to get justice, but to wish death on that person's spouse? A painful one? If she really meant it, Ardour is right.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I'm sorry but this is not appropriate whether you like their opinion or not.  

He said he looked up my posting history and that I suffered from excessive regard. That is called an "insult".  That is an unprovoked "attack" and he should go back to his hole and stop popping out to take cheap shots.  

When you respond to someone who attacks you first that is called "self defense".

There was no insults except for in what you said about yourself or unproved attacks.

 

[EveWasFramed]

When someone says something that disturbing and vile, it's foolish not to expect strong reactions.

 

[user 115627]

In situations like these, I often wonder what we are supposed to do after we are done condemning.

Northern Lights brought up the example of school shooters and it's somewhat appropriate, because that is one possible consequence of disregard for your bullies' lifes being elevated to disregard for all human life. When the resentfulness is so great, that it's not longer enough to punish the bully but everyone that means something to them plus every other person that accidentally crosses one's path.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

No-one would expect someone to be sympathetic in a situation like that. You could understand not caring the least bit if it were him who was ill... even wishing harm on him. Hoping his spouse dies painfully on the other hand (another human being who wasn't involved, bizarre that the distinction even needs to be spelt out here) just to get satisfaction from the pain it would cause indicates extreme vindictiveness and a general lack of empathy, characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. That along with excessive  self-regard, which can be seen from the forum member's previous posts imo...

Thank you Dr. Ardour... 

Now go back to your hole.

Ha! Good one.
It cracks me up how ardour thinks he can diagnose you when A.) he's not a doctor and B.) he's never met you before. That in itself sounds like a symptom of "excessive self-regard".

 

[TheRealCallie]

Personally, I would rather take the high road than turn around and be a bully myself. There is always a higher up you can go to and quite honestly, turning around and talking honeysuckle yourself isn't going to do anything but make it worse

And heaven forbid that "bully" find out you said you want his wife dead when she has NOTHING to do with anything. I'm sorry, but it's wrong. The only thing you have done is lower yourself to his level..if not lower than his level.

 

[user 115627]

Personally, I would rather take the high road than turn around and be a bully myself.  There is always a higher up you can go to and quite honestly, turning around and talking honeysuckle yourself isn't going to do anything but make it worse  

And heaven forbid that "bully" find out you said you want his wife dead when she has NOTHING to do with anything.  I'm sorry, but it's wrong.  The only thing you have done is lower yourself to his level..if not lower than his level.

These are consequences she is obviously willing to face. Now a lot of people here have justifiably stated that it's "wrong" so far, but it should be apparent this does not sway the person's mind. Same with diagnoses of mental disorders. Shame and condemnation are powerful tools to influence a person's behavior but they seem to be rather ineffective here.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Perhaps I have had too many people confide in me with too much stuff. But I understand your position, LS. I have had similar thoughts about people I do not know over my lifetime. Still do. I already know there's plenty of things wrong with me, and that knowledge is what keeps me half sane.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I think I understand your perspective, LS. Yeah, wishing harm upon strangers is not an ethical thing to do, but when you've had many negative experiences with others, I can see how you would develop harshness toward anyone who's wronged you (or in this case, their loved ones). And as NorthernLights said, the real problem is acting on those thoughts. You're just sharing them with close friends. Not an uncommon gesture.

 

[LonelySutton]

Everyone has assumed that the wife was "innocent" -- completely not the case. That is on those who assume facts not in evidence.

If you and your religious belief think its wrong to hate someone, that is your belief. I myself don't agree and I think we have spun back too far on the "don't think mean". I am a big proponent of revenge and any revenge I can get on this guy even if that just is through my thoughts having an effect her health are on me... and I am fine with it. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I think if more people got revenge on the people that did harm to them, evil people and bullies wouldn't be so out of control. But there are no consequences for them.

 

[Kianda]

If it was illegal to have bad thoughts we would all be in jail!
I haven't used this icon before but there's a first time for everything: :club:

 

[ardour]

Everyone has assumed that the wife was "innocent" -- completely not the case.  That is on those who assume facts not in evidence.

If you and your religious belief think its wrong to hate someone, that is your belief. I myself don't agree and I think we have spun back too far on the "don't think mean". I am a big proponent of revenge and any revenge I can get on this guy even if that just is through my thoughts having an effect her health are on me... and I am fine with it. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I think if more people got revenge on the people that did harm to them, evil people and bullies wouldn't be so out of control.  But there are no consequences for them.

It's clear from this that LonelySutton's intent is to somehow have an impact on her health by thinking these things (the equivalent of sticking pins in a voodoo doll) which goes quite a bit beyond dark fantasies and breaking of a social taboo.

There's not much point in arguing with someone who can't grasp the concept that other's lives have intrinsic value.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

She sounds hot, in my experience only hot people can talk crap about everyone and everyting and still get ahead in the workplace of those putting in the real work, once they get older and looks start to fade they are inevitably struck by reality, or more like getting run over by it asif it were a freight train, it's probably little comfort though.

Lol, true