Hate

[Mel]

I hate myself so much right now. Why can’t I value myself more. My husband does not love me. I know it in my gut but I keep ignoring it. I should leave him but I’ve known him since I was 4, been with him since 16, married since 21. We have 2 kids and 2 grand babies on the way. His family is my family. I don’t know how to be without him. So I stay and hate myself instead.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Welcome @Mel . Sorry to hear your in it, at the moment.

 

[okidoke]

Welcome to the forum. Can be a sad situation, but have you spoke to him about how you feel? He might feel similar. What have you done to try and repair or rekindle? There are many options to try and salvage your relationship, but communication is key. Ask him if he’s happy and then ask him why or why not. Ask if he thinks the relationship is worth saving, and if yes, what he’s willing to try to help you feel the same way. You’ve been together a long time by the sounds of it, so you either try and make it work forever or time to let it go, but you have to communicate.

 

[RiceCrispie]

Sorry to hear of your pain @Mel

I agree with okidoke. You need to communicate. Tell him how you feel. Can't argue with a feeling. It may open up a channel of communication between you both. Let us know how you get on xx

 

[user 139760]

Seems to me like you have a decision to make. Ironically it's a convo I've had with my mother as well. No one should have to live unhappily and, if your spouse loves you, he should take note of it and try to change things. If you've had those conversations with him and he's unwilling to, maybe he's not the right one for you.
It's intimidating, if you've never experienced discomfort and not knowing yourself anymore, to take the plunge and be your own person. It's also gratifying. I'd suggest talking it with him. If he's unreceptive, maybe you should think about seperation.