In the last five or six years I've had some people do this to me, a rather gullible person way back then. Every week these people bombarded me with endless emails when really, just three letters might have sufficed for the week, and another woman abruptly acted completely out of character to the sweet and caring person I had come to trust, leading to me to wonder if in fact she held a secret hate for my being a mother to kids when she was in fact, sadly barren. In the end they got blocked and to feel extra safe I made a new email account under my maiden name.
Except just over two years ago my best female friend introduced me to some online friends of hers she had known for quite a while. They were very nice, caring sort of people who had seperate instant messenger accounts so they could let her and me know by email who was going to be online, and when. One of them was an adult, mum to one of the older teenage girls. We got on ever so well. In her I was a kind of replacement to the two daughters she had tragically lost years ago, but never got over her bereavement. To me, this lady was to become an online mum to replace my real mum who had acted so despicably when I was a young teenager. Over the months she and I grew closer still because I found she was so easy to trust because of her obvious sincerity and caring. She gave me help in coping with my oldest brother's suicide and latterly my dear Dad suffering to eventually die from leukemia. She helped me become Dad's legal caregiver, encouraging me through times of personal doubt. Very often we talked into the night, and very often me in tears and her helping me to find my courage to go on.
Except I began to wonder if these people were really genuine because their family's loves and losses seemed to mirror mine. For example, when I mentioned one of my oldest sisters witness the deaths of her own parents as she anxiously waited their late return home, this older lady told me of similar. That she had witnessed the deaths of her two daughters and husband in a road accident right outside her house. I got a
frisson then. I began wondering, despite all this apparent caring for me, was I in fact being deceived, strung along?
Another girl in this family said almost verbatim her bitter experience that mirrored my own personal abuse suffered at the hands of my vicious oldest brother. And so these little stories came out, one by one, and throughout the oncoming months there were a great many more coincidencies. I'm not exactly short of a penny or two that having become very suspicious by then, I employed a private investigator. I payed him well to go abroad to make the investigations I was wanting information on. To find answers to questions that these people had evaded, making me wonder if they were genuine at all. Just to be on the safe side my P.I. went through my lawyer and though it took time, evidence mounted to prove these people were not genuine whatsoever. Chillingly, the lady who was like a mum to me, her indentity he found was not found at the address. Things were just not adding up.
In the end she was tracked down living in Manhattan, New York and it turned out that this woman I had taken into my trust had a personality disorder. How my PI discovered that I cannot disclose here, but he was very, very thorough. Later then, when on instant messenger I constructively criticised one of her family, I received an avalanche of emailed abuse. Nasty vicious emails, completely horrible and very, very threatening. During the week that led to that fateful day when I hit a breakdown not helping my marriage at the time, it dawned on me that the lady I had taken into my trust had never had kids and had been pretending to be
two people. All she told me in email and during instant messenger turned out to be total ******* goddamned fiction. That fateful day I discovered she had an alter-ego which she had merciliessly used to crush me. I don't remember much of what happened except in a rage I smashed my computer up prior to self-injuring. >_<
These people who played games with me were from the outset, kind and caring. Towards the end they became calculating and cruel. They did my ******* head in. They betrayed my trust. They broke my heart. Their nastiness triggered me into having a breakdown. To this day I still get nightmares of what happened. I have to sleep with the bedside light left on dim. I am scared of the dark. Every night I find sleep difficult.
I think people who play mind games should be ******* locked up. Whoever they were they should have never met my best female friend and broke her heart, too. They hurt my feelings til I became numb. And then only recently after my daughter and I had gone out of our way to help another friend of ours, we got such an angry email that I vomited because it triggered memories of what took place two years ago. To say I was upset was an understatement.
Consequently I am left frightened, very wary now of talking to people online except a dear family friend in Canada. I cannot find any courage to even visit the forum's chat room. I hope you lovely people understand now why I just can not bring myself to go in there.
