having crush on my professor

[nothing1998]

Now I have a feeling you've probably never even talked to her at all either and have built her up as your sworn enemy solely because of her looks alone. You're jealous, basically.

Honestly, this is petty beyond belief. And you're acting closer to a 12 year old than someone who's supposedly 20. You don't need to bring others down to bring yourself up. Let alone try and bring in a guy in this, and then claim it's all for his sake, when it's so clearly not.

Well parts of these comments are true i tried to talk to her but she ignored me cuz shes so wonderful how she can even care about a goofy nerdy type of kid???
and dont make her look like an angel and me a jelous devil...
yes im jelous to her i said before 
I dont know how did you get to this conclusion that im bringing anyone down...
Holy smoke your too judgmental

 Just because someone ignores you (and who knows how you can exacerbate what ignoring might mean) doesn't mean they actively hate you or even dislike you.

And what do you mean I'm jumping to conclusions? You've stated all you're looking forward to is winning and bringing her misery above all else. It's hard to see anything else but you wanting to tout your superiority over her in this inane 'contest' and then make her feel misery while you gloat about it, so you'll finally feel better.

Sorry but that is extremely petty. I'd do a lot of introspection over the kind of person I was if I were you.

Why do you attacking me like that 
Dont post in my thread i dont want someone like you here for just make me feel much worst 
i dont want to bring anyone misery why do you make stories and judge me 
shes already happy and has boyfriend and lots of other male giving her attention cuz she is attention seek and in a good shape..so you dont have to be worry about her..
Just dont make me mad anymore with your raw comments

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

If it's not true, fine, but the way you obsessed about it sure makes it seem that way. (Wanting to shoot the other girls, IE your competitors, for example)

In any case, I don't think your current mindset or course of action is doing you any favors whatsoever. What to do next though, I can't say; you've gotten a lot of advice here, some similar to mine and others drastically different. Guess it's up to you to decide or to keep going about the same course. Only time will tell.

 

[nothing1998]

If it's not true, fine, but the way you obsessed about it sure makes it seem that way. (Wanting to shoot your competitors, for example)

In any case, I don't think your current mindset or course of action is doing you any favors whatsoever. What to do next though, I can't say; you've gotten a lot of advice here, some similar to mine and others drastically different. Guess it's up to you to decide or to keep going about the same course. Only time will tell.
You know my opinion on the matter.

You could say your opinion without attacking me with judges and making stories in your mind the way youre talking i feel like a homewreck or sth 
I know it in my heart that he could be way happier with her than me if he want to choose between us or sth
I said a competiton and not a long term relationship or marriage its because i know i cant get married cuz i got a little brother and mother to look after but for once i like the idea only the idea of having sb paying attention to me
I guess thats a big thing to expect when your not pretty and your so shy and awkward 
i didnt take any action toward fullfilling my fantasy of having attention so i guess ill go with my all time attitude 
Head down ,staying quite all time and sitting on back rows and yield him and his attention
actually im in a all girl college and i was in a all girl high school  and i dont see much men maybe if there was other guys in my college i wouldnt even think about him 
and i know i will kill myself soon so i just want to experience something new(like relationship and if i cant reach this guy i would try drugs)and other girls around me are not bisexual or lesbian so they want a traditional type of relationship

---

I mean antidepression drugs

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

If it's not true, fine, but the way you obsessed about it sure makes it seem that way. (Wanting to shoot your competitors, for example)

In any case, I don't think your current mindset or course of action is doing you any favors whatsoever. What to do next though, I can't say; you've gotten a lot of advice here, some similar to mine and others drastically different. Guess it's up to you to decide or to keep going about the same course. Only time will tell.
You know my opinion on the matter.

You could say your opinion without attacking me with judges and making stories in your mind the way youre talking i feel like a homewreck or sth 
I know it in my heart that he could be way happier with her than me if he want to choose between us or sth
I said a competiton and not a long term relationship or marriage its because i know i cant get married cuz i got a little brother and mother to look after but for once i like the idea only the idea of having sb paying attention to me
I guess thats a big thing to expect when your not pretty and your so shy and awkward 
i didnt take any action toward fullfilling my fantasy of having attention so i guess ill go with my all time attitude 
Head down ,staying quite all time and sitting on back rows and yield him and his attention
actually im in a all girl college and i was in a all girl high school  and i dont see much men maybe if there was other guys in my college i wouldnt even think about him 
and i know i will kill myself soon so i just want to experience something new(like relationship and if i cant reach this guy i would try drugs)and other girls around me are not bisexual or lesbian so they want a traditional type of relationship

And this course of action hasn't done you any favors yet. I'd change it. Make a move. Why not? What have you got to lose?

Might even get you out of that extremely pessimistic mindset you're in too. You've apparently got nowhere to go but up, right? You might surprise yourself; I feel your only real detriment is your attitude and mindset; not anything past that which is beyond your control, like looks or the like (you even said you look almost the same as this diva girl, so then what's the real difference? Attitude)

I speak from experience here: nothing happens unless you make it so. And if you want things to change, you have to put forth the effort.

 

[nothing1998]

I mean antidepression drugs

---

If it's not true, fine, but the way you obsessed about it sure makes it seem that way. (Wanting to shoot your competitors, for example)

In any case, I don't think your current mindset or course of action is doing you any favors whatsoever. What to do next though, I can't say; you've gotten a lot of advice here, some similar to mine and others drastically different. Guess it's up to you to decide or to keep going about the same course. Only time will tell.
You know my opinion on the matter.

You could say your opinion without attacking me with judges and making stories in your mind the way youre talking i feel like a homewreck or sth 
I know it in my heart that he could be way happier with her than me if he want to choose between us or sth
I said a competiton and not a long term relationship or marriage its because i know i cant get married cuz i got a little brother and mother to look after but for once i like the idea only the idea of having sb paying attention to me
I guess thats a big thing to expect when your not pretty and your so shy and awkward 
i didnt take any action toward fullfilling my fantasy of having attention so i guess ill go with my all time attitude 
Head down ,staying quite all time and sitting on back rows and yield him and his attention
actually im in a all girl college and i was in a all girl high school  and i dont see much men maybe if there was other guys in my college i wouldnt even think about him 
and i know i will kill myself soon so i just want to experience something new(like relationship and if i cant reach this guy i would try drugs)and other girls around me are not bisexual or lesbian so they want a traditional type of relationship

And this course of action hasn't done you any favors yet. I'd change it. Make a move. Why not? What have you got to lose?

Might even get you out of that extremely pessimistic mindset you're in too. You've apparently got nowhere to go but up, right?

I speak from experience here: nothing happens unless you make it so. And if you want things to change, you have to put forth the effort.

Haha no the only thing which can make me change is anti depression to stay alive 
I cant give up but im staying in this ring and taking all the punches 
i have lots of stuff to lose 
i have a little brother and a mother to look after i have a job and this colleage im in is one of the best colleage around 
my pessimestic attitude comes within yeras of getting abused mentally and emotionally by people around specially my dad 
ok i dont deserve love and attention of anyone

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

I mean antidepression drugs

---

If it's not true, fine, but the way you obsessed about it sure makes it seem that way. (Wanting to shoot your competitors, for example)

In any case, I don't think your current mindset or course of action is doing you any favors whatsoever. What to do next though, I can't say; you've gotten a lot of advice here, some similar to mine and others drastically different. Guess it's up to you to decide or to keep going about the same course. Only time will tell.
You know my opinion on the matter.

You could say your opinion without attacking me with judges and making stories in your mind the way youre talking i feel like a homewreck or sth 
I know it in my heart that he could be way happier with her than me if he want to choose between us or sth
I said a competiton and not a long term relationship or marriage its because i know i cant get married cuz i got a little brother and mother to look after but for once i like the idea only the idea of having sb paying attention to me
I guess thats a big thing to expect when your not pretty and your so shy and awkward 
i didnt take any action toward fullfilling my fantasy of having attention so i guess ill go with my all time attitude 
Head down ,staying quite all time and sitting on back rows and yield him and his attention
actually im in a all girl college and i was in a all girl high school  and i dont see much men maybe if there was other guys in my college i wouldnt even think about him 
and i know i will kill myself soon so i just want to experience something new(like relationship and if i cant reach this guy i would try drugs)and other girls around me are not bisexual or lesbian so they want a traditional type of relationship

And this course of action hasn't done you any favors yet. I'd change it. Make a move. Why not? What have you got to lose?

Might even get you out of that extremely pessimistic mindset you're in too. You've apparently got nowhere to go but up, right?

I speak from experience here: nothing happens unless you make it so. And if you want things to change, you have to put forth the effort.

Haha no the only thing which can make me change is anti depression to stay alive 
I cant give up but im staying in this ring and taking all the punches 
i have lots of stuff to lose 
i have a little brother and a mother to look after i have a job and this colleage im in is one of the best colleage around 
my pessimestic attitude comes within yeras of getting abused mentally and emotionally by people around specially my dad 
ok i dont deserve love and attention of anyone

---

I'll leave you with simply this: All the negativity you feel about yourself is only true if you believe it. And no one but yourself is forcing you to.

 

[nothing1998]

I mean antidepression drugs

---

If it's not true, fine, but the way you obsessed about it sure makes it seem that way. (Wanting to shoot your competitors, for example)

In any case, I don't think your current mindset or course of action is doing you any favors whatsoever. What to do next though, I can't say; you've gotten a lot of advice here, some similar to mine and others drastically different. Guess it's up to you to decide or to keep going about the same course. Only time will tell.
You know my opinion on the matter.

You could say your opinion without attacking me with judges and making stories in your mind the way youre talking i feel like a homewreck or sth 
I know it in my heart that he could be way happier with her than me if he want to choose between us or sth
I said a competiton and not a long term relationship or marriage its because i know i cant get married cuz i got a little brother and mother to look after but for once i like the idea only the idea of having sb paying attention to me
I guess thats a big thing to expect when your not pretty and your so shy and awkward 
i didnt take any action toward fullfilling my fantasy of having attention so i guess ill go with my all time attitude 
Head down ,staying quite all time and sitting on back rows and yield him and his attention
actually im in a all girl college and i was in a all girl high school  and i dont see much men maybe if there was other guys in my college i wouldnt even think about him 
and i know i will kill myself soon so i just want to experience something new(like relationship and if i cant reach this guy i would try drugs)and other girls around me are not bisexual or lesbian so they want a traditional type of relationship

And this course of action hasn't done you any favors yet. I'd change it. Make a move. Why not? What have you got to lose?

Might even get you out of that extremely pessimistic mindset you're in too. You've apparently got nowhere to go but up, right?

I speak from experience here: nothing happens unless you make it so. And if you want things to change, you have to put forth the effort.

Haha no the only thing which can make me change is anti depression to stay alive 
I cant give up but im staying in this ring and taking all the punches 
i have lots of stuff to lose 
i have a little brother and a mother to look after i have a job and this colleage im in is one of the best colleage around 
my pessimestic attitude comes within yeras of getting abused mentally and emotionally by people around specially my dad 
ok i dont deserve love and attention of anyone

---

I'll leave you with simply this: All the negativity you feel about yourself is only true if you believe it. And no one but yourself is forcing you 

But i know the truth about myself and i have no illusion about myself 
The truth about me is that i dont have an intersting personality and im not blessed with a hot curvy body and no body will ever have any long term relationship or marriage with me 
And i know that i'll be a successful women in my job but i'll will never have relationship or love(although i dont belive it exist)

---

---

Yes i have some materialistic things to lose (like my schoalrship or my job my college)but i dont have anything else to lose

 

[ardour]

Clearly this is about self-esteem. You don't want him, only his attention to make you feel better about yourself. And you're prepared to lose things that matter to your future to get it. That's pretty messed.

This 35 year old professor is not going to be dating a student. You need to accept this and work on the problems leading you to create this intense attachment and hyped up drama. It's a cliche but you could start with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Helped me for a while. Stoicism gets an undeserved bad rap.

 

[nothing1998]

Clearly this is about self-esteem. You don't want him, only his attention to make you feel better about yourself. And you're prepared to lose things that matter to your future to get it. That's pretty messed.

This 35 year old professor is not going to be dating a student. You need to accept this and work on the problems leading you to create this intense attachment and hyped up drama.  It's a cliche but you could start with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Helped me for a while. Stoicism gets an undeserved bad rap.

Thanks for your reply 
but actualy i was talking about suicide if i suicide i would only lose some worthless materialistic things and thats why my life is worthless and i dont have any other important thing to lose 
And yes he will do that he done that before he is SINGLE 
In my country it is common to date your college student
Actually my self esteem would never be better nothing can boost my self esteem 
I dont have any attachment to him actually if there was BOYS around me or non staright girls  i would never even think about him (im in a segregated college)
i only want a SECRET SHORT SEXUAL  relationship with somebody  and nothing more 
and i know it would never happen i know that

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

Clearly this is about self-esteem. You don't want him, only his attention to make you feel better about yourself. And you're prepared to lose things that matter to your future to get it. That's pretty messed.

This 35 year old professor is not going to be dating a student. You need to accept this and work on the problems leading you to create this intense attachment and hyped up drama.  It's a cliche but you could start with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Helped me for a while. Stoicism gets an undeserved bad rap.

Thanks for your reply 
but actualy i was talking about suicide if i suicide i would only lose some worthless materialistic things and thats why my life is worthless and i dont have any other important thing to lose 
And yes he will do that he done that before he is SINGLE 
In my country it is common to date your college student
Actually my self esteem would never be better nothing can boost my self esteem 
I dont have any attachment to him actually if there was BOYS around me or non staright girls  i would never even think about him (im in a segregated college)
i only want a SECRET SHORT SEXUAL  relationship with somebody  and nothing more 
and i know it would never happen i know that

Again, I fail to grasp how making moves to get what you want will impact or cause you to lose anything you have. No one but you is talking suicide here.

Also, it sounds like you're only after short term fixes with this short fling. It's your attitude that's the problem. Winning against a girl you don't like, ******* some guy you don't care for will make you feel good for a day, then you're back at square one with nothing now to look forward to.

You need to find something truly fulfilling that means something. And yeah, the problem is you feel there aren't any, and again, that's your mindset and attitude. Change those first, then things might improve.
If you can't put forth the effort to improve your own life and have already relented, then why did you come here seeking advice?
I believe you want help, fine, but you have to put in the most work here. It's your life afterall. It's fruitless otherwise.

 

[nothing1998]

Clearly this is about self-esteem. You don't want him, only his attention to make you feel better about yourself. And you're prepared to lose things that matter to your future to get it. That's pretty messed.

This 35 year old professor is not going to be dating a student. You need to accept this and work on the problems leading you to create this intense attachment and hyped up drama.  It's a cliche but you could start with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Helped me for a while. Stoicism gets an undeserved bad rap.

Thanks for your reply 
but actualy i was talking about suicide if i suicide i would only lose some worthless materialistic things and thats why my life is worthless and i dont have any other important thing to lose 
And yes he will do that he done that before he is SINGLE 
In my country it is common to date your college student
Actually my self esteem would never be better nothing can boost my self esteem 
I dont have any attachment to him actually if there was BOYS around me or non staright girls  i would never even think about him (im in a segregated college)
i only want a SECRET SHORT SEXUAL  relationship with somebody  and nothing more 
and i know it would never happen i know that

Again, I fail to grasp how making moves to get what you want will impact or cause you to lose anything you have. No one but you is talking suicide here.

Also, it sounds like you're only after short term fixes with this short fling. It's your attitude that's the problem. Winning against a girl you don't like, ******* some guy you don't care for will make you feel good for a day, then you're back at square one with nothing now to look forward to.

You need to find something truly fulfilling that means something. And yeah, the problem is you feel there aren't any, and again, that's your mindset and attitude. Change those first, then things might improve.
If you can't put forth the effort to improve your own life and have already relented, then why did you come here seeking advice?
I believe you want help, fine, but you have to put in the most work here. It's your life afterall. It's fruitless otherwise.

I would not lose anything if i have sex with that guy or anybody else accept virginity hahaaa
you know she would never find out i was with him beacuse as i said i want a secret relationship with him and nobody will know about it not even my sister
yes but i want these small fixes because i need something new to make me happy even for one day im tired of getting bored and cry everyday 
I need these small fixes they mean so much to me maybe for a happy healthy person like you they are not 
worthy but they are for me

---

Being happy for one day is a very big thing for me
i didnt have a happy day since 16 years old

 

[ladyforsaken]

Honestly, nothing1998, I think you should try to take a step back and take yourself out of this bubble of obsession over the professor. It's not healthy. It's not right.

There are other ways to achieve what you want. I'm not saying to do sneaky honeysuckle to have those "secret sexual short relationships". I'm not sure how that will be fulfilling but I'm no one to judge.

Best thing to do right now while you're so young is to focus on yourself, do things that will make you happy, go out and explore life and enjoy it. Life is more than just sex or relationships. I'm not the best to give good advice right now, but trust me, you should really spend a good amount of time giving yourself the attention you need.. and nobody can give that best, except yourself.

Best of luck. I hope you'll come out of this with positivity.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

I also think viewing sexuality and doing something so rash is a recipe for disaster. It's not a quick fix and will probably make you feel worse in the long run.

You should stop seeking the quick short-term fixes; they're anything but. The best things in life requires introspection and patience.

 

[nothing1998]

Honestly, nothing1998, I think you should try to take a step back and take yourself out of this bubble of obsession over the professor. It's not healthy. It's not right.

There are other ways to achieve what you want. I'm not saying to do sneaky honeysuckle to have those "secret sexual short relationships". I'm not sure how that will be fulfilling but I'm no one to judge.

Best thing to do right now while you're so young is to focus on yourself, do things that will make you happy, go out and explore life and enjoy it. Life is more than just sex or relationships. I'm not the best to give good advice right now, but trust me, you should really spend a good amount of time giving yourself the attention you need.. and nobody can give that best, except yourself.

Best of luck. I hope you'll come out of this with positivity.

Thanks for your reply ladyforsaken
yes life is not all about sex and relationship 
but i hate to spend time with myself i hate myself 
nothing can make me happy nothing

---

I also think viewing sexuality and doing something so rash is a recipe for disaster. It's not a quick fix and will probably make you feel worse in the long run.

You should stop seeking the quick short-term fixes; they're anything but. The best things in life requires introspection and patience.

But why i have to deprive myself from short term fixes 
I know i can never have a long term fix 
So i have to do something and rescue myself from darkness for one day