Having Trouble With Western Women :/

[JustALonelyGuy]

As some of you might know, I am from the UK. I am constantly dismayed, confused and feel so disconnecrted with 'western' women and their 'needs'

Yes I work, consider myself in good shape yet I feel I am not worthy to date anyone here. ive tried meetin women in the real world yet they just do not take me seriously.

The girlfriends I have had, I met online and eneded at just 2 months if that. They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all. There are quieter guys I see hand in hand with women here yet I, do not get a second look. usually I just feel myself dismissed by the vast majority of them.

Ive tried to be more 'confident' and displayed arrogance etc like society and the media have said and tried all the traits it says will make you successful with women.

I am 31 and I constantly feel I am going nowhere. I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings. I am not bitter about it I jsut feel a total loss as to waht to do. Even bein 'myself' is not working...

What do I do?

 

[isthatso]

Interesting mmmm

I'm certainly no smoothie with the chics but........

it's a matter of self-belief. Do you really believe you can do it? Can you actually visualise yourself being confident and relaxed with girls?
Women are human. Don't put them on pedestals. i learnt that much. I gave them way too much respect.
If you can't relax with a certain girl. Maybe you're not meant to be with that one.
Be yourself.
Don't compare yourself and don't waste energy being envious. Put all your energy into preparation and focus on enjoyment. Happiness is contagious.

 

[Barbaloot]

Expand your horizons? Date foreign women? Move? Sign up to an international dating service?

Though I am not sure what 'western' women and their 'needs' have to do with you being alone. Sometimes it's simply difficult to find people we are compatible with, no matter where we are.

 

[isthatso]

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings

Sorry but this sounds arrogant and possibly deluded. maybe you need a reality check. That you aren't god's gift to women.

I am constantly dismayed, confused and feel so disconnecrted with 'western' women and their 'needs'

You need to explain this one. I'm guessing you've had success with either Asian women or Russian women perhaps?

On reading your post a second time, I think you need to change your attitude. Just my 10 cents worth.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings

Sorry but this sounds arrogant and possibly deluded. maybe you need a reality check. That you aren't god's gift to women.

I am constantly dismayed, confused and feel so disconnecrted with 'western' women and their 'needs'

You need to explain this one. I'm guessing you've had success with either Asian women or Russian women perhaps?

On reading your post a second time, I think you need to change your attitude. Just my 10 cents worth.

Is it really arrogant to not think I'm bad lookin? I would not have thouht so. I never said I was nor did I ever think to be God's ift to women

Secondly, never dated an asian or russian woman nor would I do so. many are lookin for a man like me for the wrong reasons. it's all over the internet. I dont blame them for wantin a better life. Givin the circumstances, I may ahve done the same but it isnt what I am lookin for.

 

[isthatso]

Yeah OK maybe not too arrogant but "rich pickings' sounds kind of insensitive I feel. Are you prepared to date women with average looks like yourself?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Dating offline is a better experience. Also, i'm confused why you are quantifying this with western women when you haven't had experience with non western women it seems.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

Yeah OK maybe not too arrogant but "rich pickings' sounds kind of insensitive I feel. Are you prepared to date women with average looks like yourself?

Maybe it was insensitive and i apoloize for that. yes i do not place much emphasis on looks myself. Im not or do I expect to date a woman with supermodel attributes

 

[Tealeaf]

Dating offline is a better experience. Also, i'm confused why you are quantifying this with western women when you haven't had experience with non western women it seems.

There's a theory among ******* morons who aren't having any success dating that outside of Western civilization lies a utopia where all the "nice guys," "betas," etc, are desired over the "bad boys" and "alphas," where a guy can finally find a woman who isn't a shallow, manipulative ***** only interested in the top 10% of men or whatever the figure is. Looks like OP's been drinking their Kool-aid about how it's all Western women and Western civilization's fault. Like most of the people who subscribe to this theory, he's displayed some garden variety problems understanding and connecting with people in his topics and posts but chooses to play the blame game against women and society instead of putting two and two together.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

Dating offline is a better experience. Also, i'm confused why you are quantifying this with western women when you haven't had experience with non western women it seems.

There's a theory among ******* morons who aren't having any success dating that outside of Western civilization lies a utopia where all the "nice guys," "betas," etc, are desired over the "bad boys" and "alphas," where a guy can finally find a woman who isn't a shallow, manipulative ***** only interested in the top 10% of men or whatever the figure is. Looks like OP's been drinking their Kool-aid about how it's all Western women and Western civilization's fault.

Im not sayin its all western women and western civilizations fault. It just seems its all currently or ahs been workin against me for some time. Am I a moron for expressing how I feel?

 

[Tealeaf]

Dating offline is a better experience. Also, i'm confused why you are quantifying this with western women when you haven't had experience with non western women it seems.

There's a theory among ******* morons who aren't having any success dating that outside of Western civilization lies a utopia where all the "nice guys," "betas," etc, are desired over the "bad boys" and "alphas," where a guy can finally find a woman who isn't a shallow, manipulative ***** only interested in the top 10% of men or whatever the figure is. Looks like OP's been drinking their Kool-aid about how it's all Western women and Western civilization's fault.

Im not sayin its all western women and western civilizations fault. It just seems its all currently or ahs been workin against me for some time. Am I a moron for expressing how I feel?

No, but you'd be a moron if you bought into that theory for why you're not having success dating after you've posted here about not understanding or being able to connect with people in general.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

Dating offline is a better experience. Also, i'm confused why you are quantifying this with western women when you haven't had experience with non western women it seems.

There's a theory among ******* morons who aren't having any success dating that outside of Western civilization lies a utopia where all the "nice guys," "betas," etc, are desired over the "bad boys" and "alphas," where a guy can finally find a woman who isn't a shallow, manipulative ***** only interested in the top 10% of men or whatever the figure is. Looks like OP's been drinking their Kool-aid about how it's all Western women and Western civilization's fault.

Im not sayin its all western women and western civilizations fault. It just seems its all currently or ahs been workin against me for some time. Am I a moron for expressing how I feel?

No, but you'd be a moron if you bought into that theory for why you're not having success dating after you've posted here about not understanding or being able to connect with people in general.

Im just havin one of my 'off days' tea thats all. Sometimes I can connect with people in the outside world/sometimes not. Im a mixed ba of emotion Tea!

 

[duff]

it's probably alot to do with the way you look, your body language, the way you speak, how you act that is putting women off.

But at least you have had some experience of dating so don't feel too bad about yourself !

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Your thread title confuses me... why are you specifically targeting "western women"? Are you the mack daddy with eastern women?

Maybe you are boring or maybe you are too guarded. Maybe you make things awkward with silence. However, the main factor is probably the fact that you are not confident in yourself.

You say you are confident, but you are not confident at all actually. You say one thing and believe another. When you lie to yourself people pick up on your unsure body language. Confident people say "I am confident", and on the inside they think "fresia yeah I am awesome".

As for not considering yourself boring. True, you might be able to keep yourself entertained... but.. can you entertain another? I mean I can keep myself entertained with MMOs all day long. However, how is a one player game going to entertain two people? Sometimes we have to step back and look at our lives to see why we lack something.

There is also the chance it is your presentation of whatever it is you are doing. You could have a serum for immorality. However, if you present it like it is nothing great and special. Chances are you are not going to be able to sell it.

 

[isthatso]

Confident people say "I am confident", and on the inside they think "fresia yeah I am awesome".

I don't think they do. Not always. They are just better actors. More self aware of things like body language so know how to pretend. they can be quaking in their boots inside but know how to hide it.

 

[duff]

alot of us think we are clever and charming, friendly, open, confident whatever -

in reality we are nothing of the sort !

I am probably dour, miserable, opinionated, dull, boring and arrogant !

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I don't think they do. Not always. They are just better actors. More self aware of things like body language so know how to pretend. they can be quaking in their boots inside but know how to hide it.

Yes, that is what we want to tell ourselves. Truth of the matter is that there are people out there who believe they are awesome inside and out. They are not quaking in their boots, they are not lying or acting, they are not just one big lie. That does not mean they do not get nervous, that is a given they are capable of being nervous. However, they do not let that kind of thing consume their lives. You know the way most of us who are insecure do.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Your thread title confuses me... why are you specifically targeting "western women"? Are you the mack daddy with eastern women?

I am confused for the same reason as well.

 

[perfanoff]

Dating offline is a better experience. Also, i'm confused why you are quantifying this with western women when you haven't had experience with non western women it seems.

There's a theory among ******* morons who aren't having any success dating that outside of Western civilization lies a utopia where all the "nice guys," "betas," etc, are desired over the "bad boys" and "alphas," where a guy can finally find a woman who isn't a shallow, manipulative ***** only interested in the top 10% of men or whatever the figure is. Looks like OP's been drinking their Kool-aid about how it's all Western women and Western civilization's fault. Like most of the people who subscribe to this theory, he's displayed some garden variety problems understanding and connecting with people in his topics and posts but chooses to play the blame game against women and society instead of putting two and two together.

It kind of is Western civilization's fault.
See women didn't exactly have a choice of their life until recently. Not only who to marry, but also leaving the house, education, having an opinion. Ah the good old days

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I am confused for the same reason as well.

O_O holy crap we agreed on something