Hello

[istari]

I`m new to this site, and as i mentioned in a previous post, i feel a bit of a fraud being here. The thing is, unlike so many people on here, i have a loving family, friends and a job. I`m sure there must be plenty of people here who would switch places with me.

My problem, something i know many of you share, is my complete inability to get a girlfriend. I have an almost crippling lack of self confidence with women. You would never know it if you met me, i`m pretty good at covering it up. My friends all think of me as very happy - how wrong they are. I feel very unwanted and unloved - stupid given how i know how my family and friends think of me, but there you go.

To make things worse, i recently met someone who i really like and feel very confortable being with (that doesn`t happen very often!), and she really likes me... as a friend only, and has made that clear. It`s tearing me up! What do i do? Part of me wants to stop seeing her altogether, so i can just get over her. Another part of me is saying that`s stupid. Why end a perfectly good friendship?

Any advise would be appreciated.

 

[Caesium]

'allo istari

I think a lot of us feel quite guilty for being on this site, and for having feelings of depression and loneliness, when most of us here have so much - health, an education, food, a place to live. Many millions of people in the world don't even have those bare necessities, so we ought to be grateful for what we have.

However, if wealth is gauged by our emotional state and relationships with others, then many of us are living in poverty.

I'd like to say that I can relate to most of your post, but I can't. I have absolutely no self confidence and hardly ever talk in real life.

Regarding your problem, I'd advise you to try and keep her as a friend. Having one friend is better than having no friends, and maybe being with her can help you to better understand the female species.

 

[Tachikaze]

Hey istari
I agree with everything that caesium has said

Firstly you shouldn't feel guilty about being here, lonliness comes in alot of forms and the way you feel is i imagine very common among most the people here, myself included in that.

As for your fear of women then maybe you could talk to your female friend about it, if you are close with her and she makes ytou feel comfortable she may be able to help you better understand it and yourself for why you feel like you do.
If i can share any advice its that the more you cover up things that hurt you and keep you down the worse it can get, sharing it can sometimes make it easier to deal with

apologies for bad spelling and grammar

 

[jasmin]

Hey welcome to forum. I'm sorry you have such a tough time with girls.
My advice to you, as woman, would be to be up front with how you feel. Don't just cut her out of your life with no explanation because that is hurtful. If you're honest with her you'll both be able to clarify where you stand.
If she doesn't return your feelings then at least you'll know, and there are other girls out there who'll not only make you feel comfortable but reciprocate your feelings.