Help me? I need feedback.

[SophiaGrace]

I've never spoken about this to anyone before. But I think it need to come out.

I had a close friend die almost a year ago. He had the same disability as I did. Ever since he died I've been having a rough time. I mean sure I went through difficult times when he was alive; but I always felt as though there was hope. Now with him dead; life is different for me.

I loved Max (that was his name). I loved him dearly. Even though he drove me batshit sometimes (pardon my french). He was the person I looked up to. He gave me hope that despite the fact that I was born with a disability that I could have a happy and succesful life. I took his life as a sort of blueprint; a reassurance..."Soph, if Max can do it...so can you." and now that he is dead...I am full of fear (I dont know anyone else with my disability because its so rare). Fear that...because of my disability I wont be able to lead a fulfilling life. That I wont be able to pay my medical bills, or get a job, that I will always struggle with life and not be able to enjoy it.

I've seen figures; 200,000 in medical bills for what? 3 years? o_o

And my mom ever since I was little has been telling me "soph you should get married." and its been out of a fear I wont be able to financially support myself when I am older. She's always made it clear that she worries about that.

And there was the career guy that told me that all i'd be able to do was freelance work if I was lucky.

I feel afraid guys. And my fear is paralyzing me.

Tell me the truth; do I have reason to fear? To feel hopeless about the future?

Oh! to explain what my disability is...here is a quote from another post of mine. That should help you answer this post.

"I was born without a Jaw. which means i use sign language to communicate as well as writing things down on paper. So around people I am silent and its hard for them to tell if i am intelligent or not. (which...i like to think that i am....) So i usually just sit there and listen to them talk. This also means i have a tracheostomy and gastrostomy. Tracheostomy is for breathing and the Gastrostomy for eating since i cant eat through my mouth. "

 

[RobertJW]

Difficult questions as we don't know your disability or other factors of your situation(age, finances, family support etc).

I think we all fear for the future because we dont know whats gonna happen , I know I do. Sorry thats not very helpful. Wish I could do or say more to help

 

[Gothmother]

My heart goes out to you as Ive worked with children who have trachies in and are tube fed and know it can be hard.
Sign is a real asset to help others with and you could use it to your advantage?
How about helping out to teach sign to kids or work with hearing impaird folks maybe a couple hours a week to get your confidence up ??
You sound like a very determind person , regardless of your problems, and im pretty sure if your friend was around, he would be encouraging you no end!
Go for it and test the waters.
Hugs

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hi Sohphia

It's natural for most people to be afriad of the future.
That's becuase it's uncertain. None of us really knows
what's going to happen tommorrow. We can make educated
guess and hope for the best.

I have to try to live my life oneday at a time.
Every waking moment is always in the NOW.
The future is in my brain. I can't get too far
into the future...my brain generates too many what if

 

[SadRabbit]

Hummm. Sophia, medical sciences know no boundaries. I am an engineer myself and trust me, who knows, next time, medical doctors could come out with a mechanical jaw which can be installed? What most importantly is hope....and besides let us live for today for what really matters is today my friend. And one thing, finding work is not so difficult since you have like a degree or something =)

 

[jales]

SadRabbit is right. That is a difficult path but you will find a way. You can find a way to may money .. it is harder since you will require a lot of money.. but well where do you live?

i think you will get help along the way. You are not alone in the world.

I'm not sure what to say.. but I hope for today that you are okay.

 

[Brian]

Well it seems to me that if your friend was capable, then you still should be. He just met unfortunate circumstances.

Some people may discriminate due to your disability. That will be a challenge...unless you want to sue for it and be fine, period But I digress.

There's a lot of jobs out there, especially for really smart people with double majors.

 

[InDespair]

I know you're scared about the future, but don't let anything hold you back, especially not some career counselor. My father lost his right arm in the war and literally had to relearn everything with his left. He had to find employment so he could provide for his family and didn't know how he was going to do it. Back in the 40s, they discriminated against people with disabilities among other things, but he wouldn't let it keep him down. He went back to school and succeeded in every goal he set out to accomplish. You have a mind and a will, and you seem very intelligent. Your mom is worried about you, because she wants the best for you. The loss of your dear friend who was your strength and support, has you questioning your life Sophia, but if he was here what would he say to you? He would give you that reassurance you need. now you have to to be strong and apply all that positivity that he gave you. He believed in you and you have to believe in yourself. There are many people with disabilities that have fulfilling lives and careers and most said they couldn't do it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Sophia, you'll be fine. Air in your lungs and a beat to your heart, you'll be okay. There are tons of people limited by things, but they kept right on tickin'. My mom is handicapped now, but you know what, she kept on going. No one can stop you but you.

 

[Unacceptance]

I'm not saying this to be "heartless" per se, but it don't mean honeysuckle. Just means you're going to accomplish whatever you want through alternative methods. You have ideas, and as long as they are coherent and you have a way of conveying them, there really shouldn't be any problem a bit of determination and strategy can't overcome.

Yeah you're inspiration is damaged, but that just means you have to become the front runner.

 

[SilentThinker]

We all have black spots on us.But I do not think that being a handicap is a bigger black spot than the other.

I do hear of stories of people who are unable to walk but in the end,he is able to walk now.Not through groaning,but by determination.I believe you can be that person who can inspire that someone who has the same problem as you and touched their lives.

 

[Bluey]

Hallo there SophiaGrace.

I understand your fears. I have never been the most academical person in the world so when I was at school I always sew myself in a moor physical job then say an office job or to be a teacher. I left school with the intention of being a chef. The job I would had most liked to had done was to Jone the navy as a chief. Go round the world and get paid for it why being kept physically fit and learning a tread. I mean to me there would had been no better job anywhere in the world. A friend I was at school with heard me say this and he thought it was a good idea as well and that is what he did and still dose to this day. I was brighter then him and on a push bike was fitter then him. And I kicked he's ass on moor then a few occasions lol. The problem is I am now conceded to be physically disability as well so I am unable to do any physical work ether. Kinder left me in a catch 22.

I have lead my life up to this point in a very unorthodox way. some things I could not tell you as well sometimes you have to do things differently when you don't have the same opportunity's as everyone else. You are entitled to the same things as everyone else in this world wither or not you are able to work as many hours. If society dose not wont to give ppl like you and me a life that is worth living then as far as I am concerned they need to start putting us down the second we become unable to contribute financially. Like anyone else you owe it to yourself to take whatever you can for yourself.

One thing that any disability dose is it makes you be creative in how you think problems tho. It makes you think outside the box. You have to do things differently then most do just for simple things. This can be an advantage as well if used in the right way.

You have one really good advantage over me. You are academically a very intelligent person compared to me. This means there is a load of doors that is open to you that would not be to me. There is no reason why you could not train as a accountant say. And work from home. That is a well paid job normally and you could even start your own business in time. That's just one suggestion that I thought of from the top of my head. Am sure you could think of many moor.

I know it can be heard when your different to most ppl and you have physical aspects that make it even harder. But unfortunately this is the way its always going to be for you. You like me only can deal from the hand you have been dealt. All any of us in this world can do is try out beast based on what we have at hand.

I personally think you are a strong person in the first place to have gone to college and done the things you have done all ready. You would be surprised at how many in this world would not do that. Are maybe you personally would not be. Just as you looked at your friend for a blue print in life who is to say that some one else is not looking up to you in the same way.

Anyway look at the future with bright and open eyes. With respect from your friend Jono