Help Me Understand Something

[AFrozenSoul]

So I need some help understand something. I do not understand why everyone tells me that I need to seek therapy.

I tell people that I see no reason to pursue human relationships. I see other humans as a nuisance at best. Some have a mild and extremely hard to obtain use. Otherwise I see no reason to even care that they are there. All I want to do is hide in my apartment quietly emerging to go to the gym and get food. Then return to the apartment where I can quietly wait for my cat to die so I can kill myself.

I do not understand why this is seen as wrong with avoiding these annoyances who's only interest in me is siphoning money from me or giving out some charity pity. So I really need someone to explain to me why I need to waste thousands of dollars and many long pointless years attempting to get brainwashed. When I can patiently wait for my cat to die alone and ease the misery with stuff I enjoy.

 

[Tiina63]

If you are happy being alone, then this should be respected. You have the right to decide what is the right way of life for you. But are you really happy with this way of life? Maybe others sense, or think that they sense, that you are lonely or not really satisfied inside and maybe this is why they suggest therapy. If you are genuinely content with your life, then try to ignore them. If not, then maybe therapy could help.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I am content with the fact that I need to die. I also understand that people are and always will be repulsed by me. So I want to limp along until I can finally kill myself. I always hope that I get killed, and it never happens. I just need to keep my mouth shut both on and offline.

 

[itsmylife]

AFrozenSoul -I needed to delete my reply to this post sorry, I'll send it to you via pm.

 

[Walley]

I tell people that I see no reason to pursue human relationships. I see other humans as a nuisance at best. Some have a mild and extremely hard to obtain use. Otherwise I see no reason to even care that they are there.

you answered your own question there.
that is exactly why people recommend therapy to you, because what you describe is not a normal or healthy attitude.
and they know.. that you cannot be happy or content to think like that.
and even if you feel that you don't care about people.. some must care about you. or they wouldn't ask you to seek help.

it may be hard to remember what the daylight looks like when you have stayed in the darkness for too long..

 

[Garbageman]

Hi,
I wanted to respond last night, could not stay awake enough to come up with a coherent answer. No guarantees this answer will be any better.

People can recommend someone seek therapy for many different reasons, and while frequently people are thinking a therapist or psychiatrist, that is not always the best type of therapy. There are many things that can be considered therapy. Cooking, making things, art(even if you suck at it like me), my personal favorite-spending time in nature, exercise, and in your situation you currently have one form of therapy that can be amazing for some people- pets, or animals in general. This list can be endless.

I understand feeling this way about psychiatrist/therapist,
"...waste thousands of dollars and many long pointless years attempting to get brainwashed." But, I must say that while there are some very unhelpful therapists out there, that are certainly a waste of time and money, and some who can be harmful, there are also many who, truly care, and who truly can and do help people. I wouldn't completely rule them out, though I understand how difficult it can be to find a great one.

I don't know you, and I don't know what your life if like, other than reading this single post, but I urge you to hang in there. No matter how tough life gets, how miserable, or painful, there is always something truly amazing and beautiful there for you. (Finding it can sometimes be a real *****!) But If you take your life you get no chance to find or experience it. Some of the happiest people are people who have made it through some awful stuff and somehow managed to hang in there.

I have know people who were close to taking their own life, and I have known people who made serious attempts, and unfortunately I know people who have taken their own life. This makes me in no way an expert, but one thing I have found to be true, is with every person who is still living, they all have found peace and happiness, and are extremely, thankful either they never attempted or lived through their attempt, some of them it may have taken years to find that peace, but they found it. Please don't give up.

I know you and other people think that no one cares about them in this world, but there are people that you may not have met yet, or people you know who just don't know how to show they care. I don't even know you and can tell you that I care, anytime I hear about someone who has taken their own life, it affects me, and I am sure I am not the only one. I wish the best for everyone in this world. And I recognize this is a very difficult world we live in. But you truly have a chance to experience that peace, but only if you are here. You never know who or what in your future you will be missing.

As for dealing with the now, I am a huge believer in nature as a therapy, my rationale is we come form nature, so it must have solutions to our problems, find any way you can to connect, walk barefoot, play in the dirt with your hands, build things, just sit, it may not sound very helpful, and maybe it won't help you at all, but what have you got to lose other than a few hours of your time, and if you have mosquitos in your area, maybe a little bit of your blood.

The point is seek out anything that can act as a therapy to help you get through your troubled times. And never stop looking. Please take care, and PM me if you want to talk or anything...
Greg

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Walley: The only people who really know this are people on the net. I do not waste my breath around my family. Mainly because it will give them an excuse to attempt to regain the relationship that we were supposed to have when I was a kid. What does it matter to others if I am happy? Why can't they just tell me to keep it up knowing that I will eventually kill myself and free up a job and resources?

@Garbageman:I have several vices/prisons that bring me a mild amount of joy, but they are not enough to make me want to keep on living. At this point there is nothing else that I can really try that is not going to a doctor. Regardless I have to wait for my cat to die first. Only then can I actually kill myself. So that gives life 5 to 8 years to show me it is worth it. I know that life will fail, and i will finally die.

I am also a believer of "what is the point" if I spend my younger years where I am healthy in misery? Seriously, why be happy while I am going to be suffering from the ravages of time?

 

[Peaches]

since when vices and prisons bring joy?! maybe that is the root of all the other problems.

 

[Felix]

Why do you care so much about what others think of you? Specially since they're only "nuisances" at best to you? This isn't the only contradiction you have. Your whole logic is backwards. It seems like you just want attention. You have a strange way of reaching out for help... And no one is gonna be able to give it to you here.

To be brutally honest, you're so messed up you're gonna have to go to therapy for years. If you're too much of a coward to endure facing whatever's bothering you and too much of a coward to kill yourself... you're gonna get stucked in a limbo, making crappy excuses like having to take care of a cat. Seriusly, that sounds ridiculous. Anyone could take care of a pet. The real reason you don't do it (and also the real reason you make this threads) is because you're waiting for someone or something to turn your life around, but that's not gonna happen. You are the one who has to work to improve yourself. No one is gonna do it for you.

 

[Walley]

@Walley: The only people who really know this are people on the net.

that's what you might think...
but you can't always expect that the only thing anyone knows about you, is what you tell them.
these kind of things have a way of showing themselves and may actually be obvious to people that you come in contact with.

as for why people might care about you? I can't get into specifics without knowing you better of course..
maybe they see the potential in you that could come out?
imho, caring and love in an honest sense is purely unconditional. I have cared for many people, far more than I should, whether they reciprocate/appreciate it or not. caring about your fellow humans isn't something that should only be felt after they care for you first.
just like all of these strangers on this forum taking large amounts of time to respond to your topic here.
caring for someone else or even just making a small attempt to help, feels just as good (if not better) than being cared for yourself.
as the old proverb goes, it's better to give than to receive?

as for family.. well, that's another story. I don't know what to say to you about that without sounding like a hypocrite ;p
we cannot pick family. we are stuck with them from birth. and I would bet that a majority of members on this site have issues with members of their immediate family in one way or another as well..

 

[itsmylife]

Deleted

 

[Felix]

It seems like you just want attention. You have a strange way of reaching out for help... And no one is gonna be able to give it to you here.

I don't like posting in this forum. But reading this I have to.

Please don't ever tell somebody so low that they want to die that they are just after attention. Nobody has the right to accuse someone of that and for all you know you could be giving the final push to somebody who is standing so close to the edge. Surely this forum should be a place to reach out to help people, to offer support and understanding. Not to show them the same unfair, judgemental attitudes that so many of us have to face on a day to day basis.

I'm just telling him the truth. It's not an accusation. There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help. I was just hoping he could see through his own b.s.

 

[itsmylife]

Deleted

 

[Felix]

Well, you've done it again too. Are you an expert on this? How do you know what's best for him so well?... Not that it matters. This is a public forum, and if you don't agree with what I post that's fine, but don't tell me what I should/shouldn't do. It's a pointless argument.

And yes, you're getting into an argument. Life is conflict. Accept that or go back to lurking.

 

[itsmylife]

Deleted

 

[Felix]

To me is dissapointing to find people who can't tolerate a simple difference of opinion and just let it go. But I don't whine about it. I just accept people have their own perspective of life.

People also have different ideas of what a forum should be...

None of this is wrong...

 

[itsmylife]

Thank you Felix for reminding me why I stopped posting on this forum in the first place.

AFrozenSoul I'm sorry that your thread got hijacked. I hope that people will carry on replying to you to give you supportive answers. Take care.

 

[Felix]

You're welcome. For what it's worth, I've been trough oversensitive periods during which I wouldn't post myself. You're not a special snowflake son, we all suffer.

 

[itsmylife]

Not that it makes any difference to the way in which you speak to people but I'm not a guy. And I never pretended to suffer anymore than anybody else, I was simply trying to support somebody who had reached out.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Even if you did need to seek it - which I firmly don't believe people should do unless they think it - therapy wouldn't really help someone who just doesn't believe in it. If your ways are set, there's no amount of therapy that would ever truly change your mind.